Naked Weed Whackers and Fry Cooks

One day, after striking gold in the Yukon, a lonesome miner came down from the mountains and walked into a saloon in the nearest town. "I'm lookin' for the meanest, toughest, and roughest hooker in Alaska," he said to the...

She was furious and yelled at me, "This is unbelievable! I can't believe you'd do such a thing!" I tried to explain, "Come on honey, can you really blame me? I'm not exactly getting a lot of action from you." She...

Do you know why they invented the two piece swim suit? To separate the meat from the dairy department.

To keep their nuts dry

I brought her to a 5 star restaurant. After we were seated she ordered Lobster, Primavera, biscotti for dessert and a bottle of their finest merlot. I said "Oh my god! Do your parents let you eat like this at home?" "No," she...

He asks for a shave and a haircut. He tells the barber he can't get all his whiskers off because his cheeks are wrinkled from age. The barber gets a little wooden ball from a cup on the shelf and tells the old man to put it inside his cheek....

Who had to walk belly to belly Because in their haste They used library paste Instead of petroleum jelly

Shortly after he moves in, he's relaxing on his front porch when a pickup truck comes rambling down the one dirt road to his house and screeches to a halt in front of him. "Howdy neighbor!" the pickup driver says. "My name's...

All their windows fell out.

I ended it when she started seeing someone on the side