Naked Weed Whackers and Fry Cooks

An old man goes to a barber.

He asks for a shave and a haircut. He tells the barber he can't get all his whiskers off because his cheeks are wrinkled from age. The barber gets a little wooden ball from a cup on the shelf and tells the old man to put it inside his cheek....

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There once was a couple named Kelly

Who had to walk belly to belly Because in their haste They used library paste Instead of petroleum jelly

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A guy buys a 200 acre ranch in the country

Shortly after he moves in, he's relaxing on his front porch when a pickup truck comes rambling down the one dirt road to his house and screeches to a halt in front of him. "Howdy neighbor!" the pickup driver says. "My name's...

Did you hear about the couple who mixed up...

All their windows fell out.

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I once dated a cross-eyed woman

I ended it when she started seeing someone on the side

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A minister, a priest and a rabbi

are debating whose religion is the one true religion. To settle this once for all, the priest suggests they all go out into the woods and convert a bear to their religion. Whoever converts a bear would be the deemed the winner. The three agree to...

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Your Mommas so fat

when we had a three way, I never even met the other guy.

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What's the difference...

between a prostitute, a mistress and a wife? During sex... a prostitute screams "oh, give it to me you stallion!" a mistress purrs "oh my darling you are a fabulous lover" and a wife proclaims "beige, I think I'll paint...

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Bob decided to take up bear hunting

He traveled up to Alaska, spotted a small brown bear and shot it. Soon after there was a tap on his shoulder, and he turned around to see a big black bear. The black bear said, "That was a very bad mistake. That bear was my cousin, I'm...

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I met a lovely lady in the bar last night

Although she was 63 she was very sexy and funny. She asked me if I fancied a mother-daughter threesome. I jumped at the chance, so we went back to her place. She took out her keys, opened the door, and turned on the light. Then she shouted,...

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