Naked Weed Whackers and Fry Cooks

I brought her to a 5 star restaurant. After we were seated she ordered Lobster, Primavera, biscotti for dessert and a bottle of their finest merlot. I said "Oh my god! Do your parents let you eat like this at home?" "No," she...

He asks for a shave and a haircut. He tells the barber he can't get all his whiskers off because his cheeks are wrinkled from age. The barber gets a little wooden ball from a cup on the shelf and tells the old man to put it inside his cheek....

Who had to walk belly to belly Because in their haste They used library paste Instead of petroleum jelly

Shortly after he moves in, he's relaxing on his front porch when a pickup truck comes rambling down the one dirt road to his house and screeches to a halt in front of him. "Howdy neighbor!" the pickup driver says. "My name's...

All their windows fell out.

I ended it when she started seeing someone on the side

are debating whose religion is the one true religion. To settle this once for all, the priest suggests they all go out into the woods and convert a bear to their religion. Whoever converts a bear would be the deemed the winner. The three agree to...

when we had a three way, I never even met the other guy.

between a prostitute, a mistress and a wife? During sex... a prostitute screams "oh, give it to me you stallion!" a mistress purrs "oh my darling you are a fabulous lover" and a wife proclaims "beige, I think I'll paint...

He traveled up to Alaska, spotted a small brown bear and shot it. Soon after there was a tap on his shoulder, and he turned around to see a big black bear. The black bear said, "That was a very bad mistake. That bear was my cousin, I'm...