Intimacy vs Lust

The need for human intimacy that remains unfulfilled can often transfer into sex that perpetuates a constant void which is a clear indication that sex itself is not in alignment with one's authenticity. Sex by association with nudity is propagated through body censorship and shaming. Humans are innately curious social beings in need of true intimacy and connection which clothing along with social/cultural constructs tend to discourage. The realization that one is in need of intimacy and not just another form of mutual masturbation greatly diminishes the quest for porn as a sexual outlet.
The nude human body is multi-faceted and sexual free will is only one of those facets.

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Very well thought out comments. Real personal growth is obvious. Isn't it interesting how many of us are Catholics.

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Nicely written and congratulations on the growth. This makes me think of the comparison of a textile beach and a nude beach. On a textile beach you have women in skimpy colorful bikinis where mens eyes are drawn to the colorful bikini tops and bottoms and although not much is left to the imagination, a desire is created to see whats hidden. Put the same people on a nude beach and nothing is hidden and no colors etc. to draw the eye. So what do you observe? The person. You can see what wouldve been hidden and then go on to see their face, their demeanor, their smile, and so on so you observe the person as a whole instead of fixating on what is hidden and meant to draw the eye

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Intimacy vs LustRight of the bat let me say that nothing is better than intimate sex with some who you truly love However, that is not the discussion I wish to have. What I want to discuss is how I have found intimacy over lust through naturism and Christianity, yes I am a Christian Naturist. First let me say I have always loved being naked, but I did not discover naturism until I was in my early 50sthrough non-sexual social nudity. Before naturism, I looked at porn and wanted sex all the time, but that pressure was released when I discovered you could be naked without sex. That you can find beauty in the naked body without getting horny. I found intimacy was what I was missing. Now I value intimacy over just getting off. It was as if God lifted the burden of evil off my shoulders. Now my wife and I sleep together every night naked (which she would not do 10yrs ago) embracing each most of the night. Now when I look at a photo of a naked woman I do not get aroused, now when I see a picture of a naked man I do get uncomfortable, I see the beauty in Gods creation equally in both, the beauty in all people, the way God created them. At HCN (Our local nudist club) events there are a few of us who are big-time huggers and what I have loved is through the years our hugs have gotten longer and longer regardless of gender... I am talking about minutes sometime, no one wants to let go, and after the hug is over sheer joy on everyones face true happiness. Now what I am saying next is not condemning those who like and enjoy pornography, myself I always felt guilty and bad (Even though I was addicted and it controlled me). Maybe because I was raised catholic and with guilt and respect of others was strongly preached or that degrading a woman for my own pleasure just seemed wrong. I have found intimacy through social nudism & naturism and that has truly set me free and has given me so much joy. That naturism has made me so happy, has open my heart, and has filled my soul with joy. Where lust only brought stress, pressure, guilt and frustration. I 100% all in to naturism it is just awesome!Stay Naked & Be Happy,Ronny

I find this strange. Imagine that the experience of lust (let's take it out of the seven deadly sins and take the stigma off of it) you had as a younger, less aware person is not the only way to experience the feeling. The way young men are (and I remember, I was one) is hardly describable in mature emotional terms. It is referred to as lust (lustig is the German, which means funny, and it expresses the way young livestock are in spring, funny). We are raised in a world that for men, is largely devoid of intimacy. So for me too, it was a big revelation about how wonderful it is, just on its own, without any sexual components. But we're supposed to know what it is from a young age on, how to be cared for and to care for (platonically), later, we learn to bring that to sex. And if we had it to bring when we started out, the lust part which is urgency coupled with inexperience and then frankly for me and for most guys laziness for a spell (either cause we dont' know or don't care) would be part of some experiences and tempered instead of the whole enchilada. This not to say you gotta lust. But that feeling, when it is shared with a lover and someone who you share close bonds with, is also magical, deep, and intense. The unbridled passion that arises is the more mature form of lust, which we learn to control and not dish out as it comes to us.

However, your experience is clearly that of a lot of us, which is that sex without respect or care or connection is shame inducing. And it is for many men and women. I am glad you pushed past that it is a bad place to be in. Yes, there's some catholic guilt I have it from the protestants, and respecting your partner is super important. I am curious. did the ladies say they felt disrespected and used? I ask because I got a pile of girlfriends that take advantage a bit by letting the young buck think hes getting away with something because that makes him fuck a bit more intensely. And they are not feeling hard done by. It's great that nude hugs are a thing you are exploring. They changed me instantly. I had lots and lots and lots of shit from my childhood to sort out. I stopped with the porn mostly (I make my own sometimes) but not because I had guilt (that ship sailed a while ago) but because I don't find it erotic because of the lack of intimacy and connection. I require those things now. One of the things I picked up in church (I go, not a Christian per se) recently which I love is the rejection of sin as something we even talk about. No one is bad, no one is getting punished, nothing is a sin (of course it's still in the book) the clergy just doesnt preach this stuff. What they do preach is affirmation of bodies of souls and of minds, of all those under the heavens, no exclusions. They preach love and care, and the ways to enact it. Using examples of good human caring from the book and communities like Iona in Skye. They connect everyone with the food clothing and cash outreach for the homeless who shelter in the church in winter, and the addicts and the sex workers too. No one is turned away, and we are all fed. It's pretty remarkable. I asked them when we were going nude and that was deemed not going to happen.

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I have a hard time with this framework of intimacy vs. lust, or passion vs. compassion, that one is good, the other bad, as are the concept of agape, philos (good) and eros (bad). They all have to do with a desire to love and be loved, of ourselves, one another and our Creator. Separating the body, mind and spirit is destructive and often carried out by objectifying and depersonalizing people through the use of power. I find that the shaming I experienced in church and the porn I find online are not affirming, but rather the opposite. They disembody me, fragmenting my soul from my body and spirit. Shame is the same between sheets or pews.

Intimacy is about openness and the willingess to be vulnerable. It can be expressed both in spirit and body and requires a loving relationship which has a balance or harmony of power. Any abuse, including sexual or religious disrespect, shaming or violence diminishes a person's ability to be vulnerable and requires healing. Nudism allows us to be vulnerable/clothes off (being) without sexual behaviors (doing), but it should not deny us as sexual beings.nor our healing as sexual beings. There can be intimacy in cuddling and mutual masturbation, there can be passion in intercouse and serving food to the homeless. Do we love one another to achieve an outcome, to get them to love us back or to save their souls? Or do we love because we are already loved with no desired outcome in return? Sexual and religious relationships are by nature fraught with vulnerabilty and struggle with finding an outcome of healthy intimacy with one another and lust for God. Let us be naked in the pews and sing hymns to one another in bed.

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