the resorts weve been to have been fine, but like anywhere, the assholes are around. 'single' guys doesnt mean unattached either, by the way...it means 'guys on their own'. in 100% of the times my wife, or the both of us, has been made feel uncomfortable, its been by a guy 'on his own'. males, and i wont call them men, because men they simply are not, take liberties and feel that because they are nude, they can behave in any way they like. ive seen males run...because my wifes gone to the shower block at a resort...theyve sprinted to be there , so they could get all pervy. its pathetic. instead of whining, try changing the behavior of the males around you. dont ignore it, say something. especially at a beach, such as tyagerah reserve/belongil beach at byron bay, where the nudies chose to say nothing to or about those males who were behaving in a predatory fashion, for fear of attracting negative attention from the authorities, and who now whine about beach closures and restrictions.....because they did nothing in the first place.
Could it be a guy sometimes does not know how forward or in the face he is coming off??
I'm sure everyone has come across people who keep talking without a pause for breathing like they might implode any minute, though it's more annoying than offensive.
The issue of being forward is another matter as there's a fine line between being straight-forward and disrespectful. For me, respect is not about formalities, but a willingness to look (the root word "spec") at something twice (or "re") from another's perspective.
"In the face" is more subjective. Having grown up in an evangelical ethnic enclave, I understand how easy it is for people to be offended by nonnormative behavior. Perhaps one problem with nudist resorts is that nudity is way off the norm, so newcomers may think anything goes and regulars may find it easier to focus on offending types than their behavior. The emphasis may be to screen out the potentially loose cannons and focus on those who understand the path of least resistance as guests of regulars or typically less offensive personality types.
I get it that as a middle aged white male, I'm in a group with a lot of offensive personality types, especially those who value their personal "freedom" over respect or consideration for the common good.
How can a place be welcoming and still screen out or redirect offensive personalities? How can visitors be mindful and respectful without feeling they're being repressed? I think it's all about respect and it goes both ways. I cannot be respectful, nor can I teach my sons respect, if we are dismissed with unreasonable demands of bringing legal paperwork when making a polite inquiry about visiting.
By screening out single men, resorts may have found a relatively simple way to maintain a modicum of respect,. However, in the process they are losing nudists' respect for practicing discrimination.
Well said Mikenshel.
We are all who we are and although the older generation are rather more reserved, in general, there are many who accept others as they are and agree to disagree where appropriate.
What I find annoying are naturists who think everyone else should be like them and effectively try and force their views on others.
We all need to learn respect for other peoples views and be more relaxed about life.
Whoever you are, just make the most of life and smile.
well I think it's sexist bullshit to have all these rules imposed against men just because. the fact of the matter is that a woman - or a man or a child. or just basically anyone and everyone is probably safer at a nudist joint than anywhere else. aside from the fact that so many nudists are so hell bent on proving that "nudity isn't sex!" that they are basically stuck in perma-prude mode, these places are BUSINESSES that are just not about losing revenue or even being sued for allowing threatening behavior to go on unaddressed. Not to mention that most men at these places are actually decent human beings and would love to get to demonstrate that rather than being. regarded as wild beasts just waiting to pounce and only kept in fragile check by things like these regulations only allowing them in with a supervisory female or whatever. it's like we're wild animals the must be watched by an appropriate number of trainers lest we go rogue at any moment.
it's fucking insulting.
If women feel that inherently fragile and in peril by the mere presence of men then they probably shoukdnt be there at all, period. I dont think thats the case, though. I think they also deserve credit for being smarter and tougher than all that. all this scaredy cat nonsense should be addressed by.emphasizing the safeguards inherently in place and reassuring that things are being monitored. they should also establish. people and places ad points of contact in the event anyone has an issue that is making them feel uneasy or in peril.
the mere presence of males should not in itself qualify as something that should cause such a reaction.
remember love boat? Julie your cruise director? there's no reason why there can't be officially recognized people out
at the pools and such that everybody knows they can immediately go to if something is causing alarm. Nudist men and women coukd also volunteer if they wanted to be "buddies" to not only show people around but be people newbies - especially those fearful women - know are right there that they can turn to if needed.
resorts could take just a bit of time to come up with stuff like this, develop protocols for how to handle issues, and then just get the message out first thing to new people and reiterate to established folks the law of the land and that bad behavior will be dealt with swiftly and thoroughly.
do that a hit instead of this numbers game, and stop automatically regarding men to be animals and furthering the notion that nudist clubs are places where danger is always near because if you're honest about it you know nothing could be further from the truth.
focus on behavior - not genitalia
remember love boat? Julie your cruise director? there's no reason why there can't be officially recognized people outat the pools and such that everybody knows they can immediately go to if something is causing alarm. Nudist men and women coukd also volunteer if they wanted to be "buddies" to not only show people around but be people newbies - especially those fearful women - know are right there that they can turn to if needed.focus on behavior - not genitalia
Focusing on behavior is basic psychology, so a nude Julie the cruise ship director could be a game changer.
I recently was happily surprised to got an invitation through TN for an event at a resort I tried out and found too small cliquish and unfriendly to come back to. Perhaps COVID killed off a lot of their regulars. It's a tough thing for the resorts to turn the ship of their culture around, transitioning from male-hostile to generally unfriendly and dysfunctional. I say give the keys to a small group of Millennials and they'll reinvent resort culture for the better before you can say "okay boomer."
StoneAndy wrote:Focusing on behavior is basic psychology, so a nude Julie the cruise ship director could be a game changer.
When I was at Laguna del Sol on Memorial Day, there was an attendant at the main pool area who was clearly part of the management (possibly a volunteer). She was mainly concerned with people not hogging deck chairs and such, but it seemed obvious that if rules on gawking weren't being followed, she would have been the logical choice to bring a complaint to.
I didn't see such a person at the Willamettans community, but it didn't seem necessary since midweek attendance was low. On weekends, there are people working the gift shop, snack bar, and saloon who would presumable be able to field complaints.
In both cases, I was an unescorted male. But I should add that my wife is also listed on my TNS membership card, and maybe that helped.
Since I have always attended as a solo male, I figured I'd share my experiences from a few midwest campgrounds/resorts.
My first resort experience was at a medium sized WI facility and I was quite nervous about the whole thing. I kept to myself and didn't talk to anyone for the first couple hrs and was pleasantly surprised when a few couples and some males started up conversation's with me.
Another WI resort I attended a couple times was quite large acreage but was very few people. I think only one or two people talked to me and treated me like a kid even though I was in my mid 40's. Nice site/land but the owners have retired and it is closed now.
The 3rd WI resort I attended (closer to Milwaukee) was a quite nice and very developed place with all manner of facilities. The person checking me in was kind of reserved but once on the grounds I was approached by many for conversation. Men, ladies, couples and the like. All very nice and welcoming. Some even went into history lessons about the resort and the like. Sadly, this resort is now closed as well.
A larger resort I attended in MI was also very developed and quite sizable. Some that I met here were short and kurt so not very welcoming and others were almost too nice. It was easy to tell the regulars from the occasional visitors but most were very nice. Some were a bit protective, of what I still don't know but seemed to be always watching what I was doing. I just went about my business. The employees were nice and helpful with questions I had. I met some very nice people there.
This is also where I was approached by a couple of ladies about extracurricular activities one evening, to which I politely declined and never saw them again during the rest of my stay.
The point I am trying to make is that the people you encounter help make or shape your experience. There are some not so good people even at good resorts and vice versa. Some may just be having a bad day for reasons unknown to you. If you come across others not pleasant to be around, separate yourself from them. If they are doing something that is serious enough to warrant the attention of the management or law enforcement then do that too.
FWIW that is my take on it. YMMV.
I regards to post #28 - "Is this because the majority of resort operators are male & heterosexual ? Just a thought...."
My response is "possibly" but reading into the numbers you posted I would say that it is more likely that unless ladies start showing up in droves they will never be turned away like the men are. There are a lot more men into nudism than women and the numbers you posted support that.
Just my 2 cents.....
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