The isolation men face
Here's a link to an interesting article in the Washington Post about how men's groups are addressing the isolation that men face
https://www.washingtonpost.com/dc-md-va/2023/08/09/masculinity-journeymen-josh-hawley-trump/
I was able to get through the paywall and hope you can too.
I've been involved in the Mankind Project, one of the groups mentioned, and have found it extremely helpful. It's not that a group has all the answers, but puts me in contact with men who have similar questions and are open to talking.
good article - i also wonder if part of the "loneliness" might be attributed to the lack of ritual in the transition from boyhood to manhood? many cultures have set aside specific ritual/rites to acknowledge and transition boys from childhood to adulthood. i am not expert but when I see articles like this it always makes me wonder due to the fact that there seems to be a "recapturing" thru rituals like drumming circles, wrestling, etc. ... thanks for posting it
Really strange. Normally men who are in the 20s have such problems or thoughts. But I think these guys are older?- What is the problem with feminism? Read some books from Shere Hite and understand. What is the problem with becoming a man? Play football, basketball or go sailing. If you are alone go jogging or biking. Its easy like that to become a man. (yes in a feministic world)
I'm 67 and do feel lonely at times. I read a book called "The Lonely American" and then one called "Why men over 50 feel so lonely, and what can you do about it!" - While I didn't agree with everything in the books, they sure made me think.
I think of it this way - my wife recently asked a female friend to go to the cinema with her (to Barbie - which she thought was utter woke crap btw). My wife is 66 and her friend is 25. They had a drink together first, before the movie. Now as a 67yo man, if I invited a 25yo guy to the go see a movie with me, I know it would be seen as creepy. Why??
99% of my social contact is as a couple with other couples, but fortunately I have a male friend who I regularly call to meet for lunch. We are a similar age and live only a block apart. I love it. Wish i knew more like him. I can understand why so many men feel isolated
Now as a 67yo man, if I invited a 25yo guy to the go see a movie with me, I know it would be seen as creepy. Why??
Homophobia is an effective tool used against men from getting the support and comradeship of other men, making them rely on the direction and discretion of women instead. In some ways I agree that in the past, all male spaces could have locked women out from "centers of power," but feminism tends to seek equality in terms favorable to women's interest only. So women reporters can be bros in men's pro locker rooms, whereas male reporter's access is severely restricted. Women can have girls night out, but men need to be engaged to get married for it to be socially normal. Kids can go to an elementary school where all the teachers are women and have it considered acceptable to boys' development, whereas a little girl in an all-male environment would be considered "at risk."
Men are considered creepy because it works as a way to control us. We have to speak out against it.
I agree that homophobia controls the behavior of men, who can feel constrained never to do anything that might appear gay. But I don't think homophobia is women's invention. Men do this to one another.
Fear is in our bone marrow to keep us safe. It's no one's invention, but can be used to divide us by others, which women can do. Of course men have fear of one another. It keeps us isolated (and less vulnerable, until the consequences of loneliness set in). Check out youtube videos on 808splunk such as this. I don't want to romanticize the past, especially as you'll find videos like this are only about white men in America. But there is something to be said about the difference with today where the idea of homosociality (men enjoying the company of men among men) is so frowned upon today.
The Males today that are 19-30 are growing up with legends of how Males "were".
I'm not one to argue with you, Steph; you know I respect your insight and opinion. But I think you're being a bit short-sighted here. Young men today have living role models like you. I don't imagine your sons/pups fit that description because you raised them. My younger son just started college a couple of days ago, so he's still young in defining himself, but I like to think my example will make a difference in how his roommate and him share their space regarding their openness to nudity or vulnerability in general. There are a lot of younger men on this site with and without committed fathers who are choosing to disregard labels enough to enjoy friendships/brotherhood without accepting the shadow of homophobia. I have great hope for the future in young men whom I feel my generation has shafted but choose to reinvent themselves and the future better. Don't give up as long as you can continue to make a difference, just like those men did for you growing up!
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