Holding a gaze
Guys can't hold a gaze. I don't mean always or all of them but on average they can't. It comes down from our evolution as a species. In all mammals (well ok, mostly males) staring another mammal in the eyes is a sign of defiance and potential aggression.
It comes a lot easier for us females of the species, who have never been much in the aggression business. Our staring into the eyes of another fellow human may be interpreted as admiration, surprise, interest, sometimes even submission, but hardly ever as aggression.
As said, there are of course exceptions. Americans are taught from a very early age to look into the eyes of their interlocutor and they mostly get over it. The French and most Westerners also get over what is interpreted in the western world as shyness but just go East and you will see that staring into the eyes of another person is considered maybe not a sign of aggression, they live in civilisation, but definitely of a lack of respect. Which is of course the basis of aggression.
Now let's get more personal. Why do I write this? It's simple. Because guys can't hold my gaze. And not because they find it attractive or something, on the contrary. Many have told me that I can have a scary, piercing gaze. Aggressive. I look like a witch. Like Cuela, just meaner. This happens when I think of something and I don't smile. Women interpret this lost gaze as a sign of interest and curiosity (it's not, it usually means that I'm thinking of something else) while males see it as a precursor of aggression (nope, just boredom). Remember the pic I posted where I was looking at the camera over a glass of wine? That was scary, wasn't it. As a matter of principle, I don't think there is anything wrong with my face or my eyes - they are of normal size, shape and number. The eye colour is bizarre: I think they are actually grey but their colour varies very much from green in warm lights to blue in cold ones. So much so that everybody believes that I am wearing colored contact lenses. But it can't be this the reason my gaze looks aggressive, people who only see me once in a certain light notice this.
When I am nude, my (male) interlocutors face an even more difficult dilemma. They can't hold my gaze so their eyes slide down but then they realise that they are not supposed to stare there for too long and their eyes go back up. Then down again. Then up. Then down. Until they stabilise somewhere on my chin. Either that or I have a particularly cute chin. This actually also happens when I am wearing something with a generous neckline - which I often do. Ok, fine, almost always. I feel sorry for them and I feel like telling them guys, don't worry. I don't bite - not unless we get very intimate. I won't slap you in the face if you look into my eyes and I won't do it if you look at my boobs either. We're cool, relax. I'm actually a nice gal, not Cruela.
The whole thing changes if I smile. All of a sudden, I don't look scary anymore and guys will look into my eyes with no restriction. But I can't go everywhere with a big grin on my face like a clown just so that guys look into my eyes, can I. So to stop making guys feel uncomfortable with my gaze I guess I need to make a choice: either smile more or cover my chest better. What should I choose?
(Yeah, I know that the end is a bit abrupt but I gotta run...).
Such an interesting insight! In my short time I can confirm that your face has that effect even in the few pictures where it is unobscured and we viewers get the benefit of you not seeing us back through the camera lens.
A tangential thought is the age difference between you a D. Was only a more mature and confident man capable of taking on such a challenge?
My only suggestion to the ongoing dilemma is to use your smile judiciously. Not all the time, but enough to grant permission for others to lift their eyes above your chin.
Perhaps you are right about men you have just met not holding a gaze, but in my opinion an acquaintance, male or female, cannot become a true friend unless he or she can look me in the eye while we are talking. If you are naked among other naked people there will be plenty opportunity to enjoy seeing the whole package of them, but it is vastly better to be among naked friends, whatever their assets are or are not, whom you can look in the eyes of those also looking you in the eyes. If you cannot look them in the eyes but only want to see their assists, they are not your friends or you theirs, but only a passing amusement.
... Because guys can't hold my gaze. And not because they find it attractive or something, on the contrary. Many have told me that I can have a scary, piercing gaze. Aggressive. I look like a witch. Like Cuela, just meaner. This happens when I think of something and I don't smile... The whole thing changes if I smile. All of a sudden, I don't look scary anymore and guys will look into my eyes with no restriction. But I can't go everywhere with a big grin on my face like a clown just so that guys look into my eyes, can I. So to stop making guys feel uncomfortable with my gaze I guess I need to make a choice: either smile more or cover my chest better. What should I choose?
There's really three angles here - There's the male and female angle, where-as a male stare is more likely to be seen as predatory or aggressive, which many men are aware of, which would cause them to avert a prolonged gaze. There's the personal angle, which is to say, a disarming smile wouldn't hurt to put people at ease if you find yourself staring, without "going everywhere with a big grin on your face like a clown". Then there's the cultural angle, without mincing words, the "French Stare" is a noted phenomenon among tourists - The French have zero discomfort about staring at strangers for prolonged periods of time, in a place like New York, for instance, such an act would cause an altercation.
Interesting observation!
Good question about us staring.
Oh I am the type that look people in the eyes at first, but thats to get a general sense about the person. And yes as a nudist we try and look at people in the face. Now when I get to know a person for a while I will look at you all over. The plunging neck line will get me to drop my eyes, because that is what the outfit is asking me to see.
After becoming good friends oh I look at my friends eyes deeply. But I am trying to make someone feel like I know them. But looking at someone for information on what they are thinking is important to what I will be doing next. Fight, flight or something better
No, I don't think I could hold your gaze on a first meet without a feeling of awkwardness, its quite an intimate thing, so more knowledge of each other would be required, (for me), for the gaze to feel comfortable.
Make of me what you will for this bit of soul bearing Richie x
Now, I made it clear from the first sentence of my post that this does not concern all men and it doesn't always happen. Yet, some clueless non member who either can't read or can't process information jumps at my throat and claims that I ONLY met men ith low self esteem. And he speaks about MY contradictions...
AlaskaJoe speaks about good friends. Now, this is an interesting spin-off although not the subject of my topic. The subject was that guys are on average less capable to hold my gaze than girls are. And they interpret my "lost gaze" as aggressive, while girls interpret it as curious, inquisitive maybe. Which is part evolutionary and quite interesting.
But what about good male friends? I have several, although not in close, intimate ways like my girlfriends. They also have a tendency to jump like "What did I do wrong?" when I look at them "like that". Cher Pierre, you did nothing. I was just thinking of the report I am working on and I was looking through you, not at you.
Do I need to repost that pic for you to see the problem? I don't have many like that as I usually try to not be expressionless for the camera, but I find that one quite remarkable.
I can only reiterate that that I believe, Flora, your gaze appears to have a certain quality. Other women I have encountered in person have had an effect of making me feel 10...30 IQ points have escaped my brain for no plausible reason. We're all different and that sometimes manifests itself in curious ways.
Actions
Back to TopicsReply to TopicShare this topic
Get paid just by sending us users/traffic.
Signup takes seconds, start now!
Signup as an affiliate!