Misconceptions abound
While talking to my neighbor last night. I suggested to go to the somewhat near clothing optional place with me. I told her we can walk around and she could see what it is like. I told her she can wear clothing, and I can walk around naked. I reinforced to her its no big deal I have seen it many times. Then she kinda turned it into, well were is the strange sex place located at? I said what? She thinks that a clothing optional resort is some sex place! This is not the first time I have heard this come out of someone's mouth.
Not sure why its automatically tied to sex? And on top of it, thinking some sex hall located on the property?
This cannot be a surprise to most folks who've been involved in social nudism for any length of time. If we try to explain it to someone who hasn't been taught better, their immediate thoughts may go right back to where they were mentally the last time their parents scolded them when they tried to run around the house or yard naked, probably just after they'd started to show their budding adulted-ness. The child in their head is made to be embarrassed by the parent who wrongly thinks it's time to teach their developing kid that their body is no longer theirs to do with as they like, that from that point on, if they are nude in front of others it automatically sends the viewer the message that they're either a target to use sexually or a slut for wanting to be bare around others. It's a decidedly sad situation, and about the only thing we better-informed can do about it is to re-educate them one at a time.
Another alternative would be to sit down at a computer with your neighbor and show her the AANR website or some other family-oriented nudism site. Let her read the rules of conduct which state clearly what to expect and what is expected of visitors to such places. The stringent rules of no visible arousal or open sexual activity of any kind should begin to inform her better than trying to correct her misinformed wording as she keeps connecting nudity to sex. Some people won't believe anything you tell them because of what they've been told all their life about what occurs when nudists get together. They'll continue to think, "It's a colony, it's a commune, it's a bunch of horny hippies who can't stop following their genitals around!" It is a very difficult thing to convince otherwise those who've been steeped in that idiocy for so long.
Further, there are things that go on back in the dunes or after dusk settles in at some beaches that won't do anything but re-enforce those unfortunate and false lessons from her past. Be certain to avoid any times of the day or special areas of the beach which might lean toward the 'adult', or end up alienating your neighbor to the whole idea of non-sexual nudism. All it will take is her witnessing one exhibitionist lost in their own kinky head to keep her preconceptions of 'nude means sex' permanently ingrained.
Clothing optional beaches have their advantages, like being able to introduce people like your neighbor to the beauty of bareness in public, where they can keep their clothes on until they have begun to acclimate. Unfortunately, these places also invite onlookers and gawkers who often hide themselves as they stare at all the skin, furthering the idea that there is something unwholesome about simple bareness in social situations. Leaving open the option of wearing clothes for the newbie seems reasonable in some ways, but most nudists understand that being nude is much less provocative than the current styles in swimwear today. This will hopefully be the moment for your neighbor to see for herself that 'no sex' does sell the product!
While talking to my neighbor last night. I suggested to go to the somewhat near clothing optional place with me. I told her we can walk around and she could see what it is like. I told her she can wear clothing, and I can walk around naked. I reinforced to her its no big deal I have seen it many times. Then she kinda turned it into, well were is the strange sex place located at? I said what? She thinks that a clothing optional resort is some sex place! This is not the first time I have heard this come out of someone's mouth.Not sure why its automatically tied to sex? And on top of it, thinking some sex hall located on the property?
Because mainstream media presents it that way. It's the only thing most people have ever seen. Getting naked? Sex is soon to follow.
John aka cobeachbum
Its that simple why is anyone surprised. A majority of the people talking about being nudists online reinforce the notion.Because mainstream media presents it that way. It's the only thing most people have ever seen. Getting naked? Sex is soon to follow.John aka cobeachbum
People are taught to be ashamed of their own bodies and nudity. If they aren't comfortable being free from clothes alone, how could they possibly consider social nudity?
I've been to a local Ukrainian banya/suana/spa for men only, and most wear a thin towel sheet. My guess is that approximately half are foreign born and grew up with social nudity. As my tradition is to bathe naked, I noticed no one neither took issue nor followed my example. Talking about it gave me the impression that the native borns felt it was sending the "wrong signal" and the foreign born honored local practice.
My own read is that homophobia is strong and exclusive male environments are rare, so men in the Midwest are willing to forego the comfort of nudity for the path of least (textiled) resistance.
Women on the other hand have been traditionally objectified and do not have a strong acceptance of social nudity.
It's time for men to understand the price of homophobia: fear of brothers, friends and one's own self that's effective in dividing and conquering us. It's essentially a form of emasculation. It's not that straight men associate naked penises with sex, but rather that pensises become "so gay" outside any expected behaviors such as showering or bedroom intimacy. Nor do they care much themselves, but are more concerned about others' perceptions.
While talking to my neighbor last night. I suggested to go to the somewhat near clothing optional place with me. I told her we can walk around and she could see what it is like. I told her she can wear clothing, and I can walk around naked. I reinforced to her its no big deal I have seen it many times. Then she kinda turned it into, well were is the strange sex place located at? I said what? She thinks that a clothing optional resort is some sex place! This is not the first time I have heard this come out of someone's mouth.Not sure why its automatically tied to sex? And on top of it, thinking some sex hall located on the property?
Your neighbour knows you are a nudist and you invite her to a nudist venue.
She thinks she is being invited to a sex place and that you regularly attend this sex place
and she is still talking to you?
While talking to my neighbor last night. I suggested to go to the somewhat near clothing optional place with me. I told her we can walk around and she could see what it is like. I told her she can wear clothing, and I can walk around naked. I reinforced to her its no big deal I have seen it many times. Then she kinda turned it into, well were is the strange sex place located at? I said what? She thinks that a clothing optional resort is some sex place! This is not the first time I have heard this come out of someone's mouth.Not sure why its automatically tied to sex? And on top of it, thinking some sex hall located on the property?Your neighbour knows you are a nudist and you invite her to a nudist venue.She thinks she is being invited to a sex place and that you regularly attend this sex placeand she is still talking to you?
Wow, you didnt read it did you? Nope she has seen me numerous times in my backyard. She even offered to drive me. Thats why I thought it was a great idea for her to walk around and see what it is like. She wears her cloths, and can see its no big deal.
Yes we are great friends, why you would think otherwise is strange!
You are wrong, I did read the post. A few times actually.
Its just with the information you provided I found it strange, now you have posted a little more information Im even more confused as to her misconstrued view.
Your neighbour and good friend knows you are a nudist because shes seen you numerous times in your yard.
Your good friend and neighbour knows you go to a nudist club and has even offered to drive you there (although she doesnt know where it is)
But, your good friend and neighbour thinks its a sex place and presumably you go there for sex and shes still willing to drive you there but not go in with you.
Have I got all this correct, or have I misunderstood?
You are wrong, I did read the post. A few times actually.Its just with the information you provided I found it strange, now you have posted a little more information Im even more confused as to her misconstrued view.Your neighbour and good friend knows you are a nudist because shes seen you numerous times in your yard.Your good friend and neighbour knows you go to a nudist club and has even offered to drive you there (although she doesnt know where it is)But, your good friend and neighbour thinks its a sex place and presumably you go there for sex and shes still willing to drive you there but not go in with you.Have I got all this correct, or have I misunderstood?
Yep got it right, the part many of us reading is why she wouldnt talk to me anymore? Those are your words and thoughts. Strange thoughts indeed.
Yep got it right, the part many of us reading is why she wouldnt talk to me anymore? Those are your words and thoughts. Strange thoughts indeed.
Thank you for clarifying that I have the facts correct.
Since you cant understand my words, let me try to clarify those for you.
Your good friend and neighbour thinks (wrongly) that you are a sexual deviant and goes to a place to have sexual deviant sex with others. And by deviant I mean sex that deviates from the normal practice of a couple in a relationship having sex in private.
This is how she thinks and still offers to drive you there. Thats what I find very strange. I cant be the only one.
But those are your words, so I guess we have to take it as true.
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