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I love being married....it's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.

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I'm so clever, that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what l'm saying.

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It's only Wednesday, and I'm presently experiencing life at a rate of several WTF's per hour.

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I don't want anyone to think l'm an Asshole.... l want them to be 100% sure about it.(l)

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If showing up in a robe and a tiara with a box of wine is wrong, then maybe I don't fully comprehend how casual Fridays actually works.

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I enjoy a glass of wine each night for its health benefits. The other glasses are for my witty comebacks and flawless dance moves.

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If it is wrong, I don;t want to be right!

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Masturdating (v) ~ going out to dinner and a movie alone.

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24 hours in a day...24 beers in a case... coincidence?..l don't think so!

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It only takes a second to show someone how you feel about them.. the police called indecent exposure.. but whatever

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