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I tried to embrace my inner child today and the little asshole bit me.

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I don't think I get enough credit for working all day..... unmedicated.

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Candy is dandy....... But liquor is quicker!! Happy Halloween!!

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I hate it when it's really late, dark and stormy outdoors, and my brain says, hey we haven't thought about monsters in a while.

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Speaking of birthdays, why does no one want to count the ACTUAL day of birth as the first birthday(and the only one, really, that counts the most) and instead when the child turns one year old they claim it is his/her FIRST birthday? The first BIRTHDAY occurred 365 days previous to that one, although for some reason, no one seems to want to count it as a BIRTHDAY. When a person, let's say turn 20 years old, people will say it's their 20th birthday, when in fact it is their 21st. Why doesn't the REAL ONE get included in the count? I have wondered about this for years, but no one has come up with a good answer for it yet. Something to think about, Y'all.

It is the 20th anniversary of their birthday, just shortened to 20th birthday out of convenience. Feel free to use the full title going forward to put your mind at ease!

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BOOBS..... The proof that men can focus on two things at once.

Awesome! Do you find these or invent them?

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A little of both, but mostly find them on the web, l only add the ones that make me laugh.

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People say everything happens for a reason... so when I punch you in the face, remember I have a reason.

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Just remember. Some times your the bug, other times your the windshield ;-)

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I would like to apologize to anyone I have NOT offended, please be patient... I will get to you shortly.

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