Anyone who says their wedding day was the best day of their life has obviously never had two candy bars fall down at once from a vending machine.

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I have come to the conclusion that dryer lint is the cremated remains of all of my missing socks.

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What do nudists pack for vacation?
Just the bare necessities.

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On the bright side of HELL.... my coffee will never get cold and all my friends will be there.

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For Christmas my mom bought me a t-shirt saying, "I'm a nudist."
I haven't worn it yet.

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If you miss your mother in law........reload and try again.

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The first thing a man looks at in a woman is her Heart... the fact that her boobs are infront of her heart is not our Fault.

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I never realized how funny I was until I started talking to myself

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I'm going to run for a political office just to see what kind of scandalous dirt they dig up on me, it would be nice to piece together my twenties.

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I'm going to run for a political office just to see what kind of scandalous dirt they dig up on me, it would be nice to piece together my twenties.

GREAT IDEA, you could campaign nude on the platform of " I Have Nothing to Hide", which would cause them to dig even deeper. You are sure to win a pubic office no matter what. At the least you will find out what happened in your twenties. If not, this might be your answer!

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