Most definitely love that box.

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Babe, a tiny penis isn't such a big deal... I don't know Jenny, I kind of wish you didn't have one at all.

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My emotional support animal is a chicken.... A four piece.... with a biscuit.

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I went by the house that l grew up in, so l knocked on the door and asked if l could take a look inside, they said , Hell No and slammed the door in my face...my parents can be so harsh.

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That's mean but also funny. Well done.

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On this day in 1876 Alexander Graham Bell makes the first ever phone call, moments later phone rings and he learns his auto warranty has expired.

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Sometimes l find a random screw lying around my house and l just assume it's from my life falling apart

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The most shocking thing about our human sex organs is that people are shocked by them.I neither designed nor made my body. I have neither cause for pride nor shame regarding its various features. I am not ashamed of my nose, fingers, or toes -- why should it be any different regarding my cock and balls.

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Doctor: I'm not really sure how to explain the cause of all your health problems, it could be the drinking..

Patient: that's ok doctor, I'll come some other time when you're sober.

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I see people my age mountain climbing and I'm here feeling good about getting my leg through my underwear without losing my balance.

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