RE:Quote of the day

Right before l die, l am going to swallow a bag of popcorn kernels to make the cremation a bit more interesting.

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RE:Quote of the day

If you line up all of my exes in a row.......you can see the flow chart of my mental illness.

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There's no need to drive me crazy.....l'm close enough to walk.

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You know you're getting old when it feels like the morning after...... But there was no night before.....

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Just trying to keep cool by standing naked infront of the fridge with the door open..... but the supermarket staff did ask me to please leave the store.

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When the cashier said strip down, facing me, she meant my credit card. Guess I won't be shopping there anymore.

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If you judge me by my past.....don't be surprised when you become part of it.

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Great minds think alike..... unfortunately, so do the stupid ones.

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I discovered that answering the door naked helps deter trick-or-treaters....oh, here we go again, here's two dressed as policemen.

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Don't believe everything you read in public toilets, Sharon is not up for a good time...what an awkward phone call that was.

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