Women and voyeurism
So...my fiance was voyeured...
It was a situation I considered insignificant (maybe I'm just jaded); but my fiance didn't see it that way. As a matter of fact she felt strongly about it. And we squabbled a bit about it (my fault.) She subsequently opted to stay covered on our vacation.
It almost ruined our St Martin trip for me; and I didn't get to hang out with the nudists I had set up a meet-up with. I wasn't too happy.
I initially felt my nudist efforts had been annihilated in one single stroke due to this imprudent person. But I know see it as a setback as opposed to a final blow. I know there are many right here among us who have faced a similar situation.
But that was two months ago and I have had time to ponder the situation. And voyeurism.
My fiance indeed reacted strongly to being voyeured. And I started remembering about my ex, who had a much different attitude about it. It was a combination of defiance and...compassion. I'll explain later.
I'm not going to elaborate too much on the ex's background story. She started out reluctant - same as my fiance, got into home-nudism, lukewarmly tried resort nudity. It wasn't until she found herself - reluctantly - in the insulated and homogeneous environment of the non-landed club that she became comfortable being completely naked with other nudists. Her "naked confidence" during that time increased due to the relationships we were fostering. She accepted being looked at naked because she knew people were looking at HER and not her individual body parts. And even if they were, it was respectfully, and followed by some sort of positive comment/compliment.
When we started attending larger and busier venues, she took her "naked confidence" with her. At that stage she had started shaving and sat/lied in a way that was comfortable to her; which sometimes meant legs ajar.
Due to her "unique" physical attributes and natural exhuberance...she got voyeured. Sometimes it was inconspicuously; sometimes it was much more blatant. Especially if she happened to be applying sunscreen.
And her attitude about it was defiance...and compassion.
Defiance because she felt strongly that nudism was about "having nothing to hide"; and it had taken her a while to be totally comfortable naked, and she wasn't going to let a "voyeur" undo the comfort levels she had achieved.
Compassion because she felt that voyeurs were more ignorant than malicious. Ignorant of the fact that they did not understand that nudity - with all its bits and nooks and crannies - is natural and not something to be glossed over. She even stated once that she felt sorry for people at the resort that still got hung up on what body part they were seeing; especially considering everyone else was also naked.
And so she just refused to hide.
Voyeurism is unfortunately a nearly unavoidable part of public nudity. But as I learned with my fiance, you can't dictate how our women are going to feel about it. Of course, my ex had a lot more time and opportunities to "train" herself on how to react - or not react - to being voyeured. Not everyone is going to "get there." That fact hit home for me with my fiance in St Martin. And now I have to start all over with her.
I'll never understand this. Every woman I've ever known spends a great deal of time and effort daily making themselves look attractive so that other people will look at them, but when they get naked they want to be invisible. They don't want anyone to see them. Can someone please explain this to me.
I'll never understand this. Every woman I've ever known spends a great deal of time and effort daily making themselves look attractive so that other people will look at them, but when they get naked they want to be invisible. They don't want anyone to see them. Can someone please explain this to me.
At a nudist resort my wife was sitting and relaxing on a deck chair after having been in the pool with our sons. Her hair was wet and stringy and she was not wearing any make up. That did not stop a perv from approaching her with a full erection. I was in the pool. She called to me. the perv ran off. We reported him and he was told to leave.
I'll never understand this. Every woman I've ever known spends a great deal of time and effort daily making themselves look attractive so that other people will look at them, but when they get naked they want to be invisible. They don't want anyone to see them. Can someone please explain this to me.
Reading your response, it comes across to me that you're ok with a man sporting an erection violating a woman's space just because she likes to look attractive.
Boy, do we have a long way to go.
Nudony I hate that for you guys. My wife after a bad experience our 1st time out said she would never go again meaning socially nude. It was a few years and thankfully it turned out to be a hiatus instead of the never again. I was edgy as hell when we finally did successfully get out socially. I literally was on guard duty to avert another bad experience. And yes I did deflect some unwanted attention towards her from time to time.
In short after she continued to grow in her own skin gaining confidence in her social nudity I felt I could relax myself. Don't get me wrong I still keep very aware for her. She is quite at home at our club and if I should not be near her she defiantly has demonstrated she can handle that random problem visitor.
I truly hope you guys can recover from the bad experience.
Thanks all for the support!!
Yeah...it was tough...but heck I've been there before. And I'm definitely not quitting now!
As far as getting my fiance to re-join the nudist ranks...well it's going to take some work and patience. She still goes nude at home; so I'm confident now that we can rebuild from there!
This is actually funny to me!
Yeah I'm a bullshit artist. I'm actually a 70 year old single man typing fictional stories from his mother's basement to get a rise out of people.
ROFLMAO!!!
That reply is deeply insensitive when it comes to women and nudism though. Not cool at all.
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