Women and voyeurism
So...my fiance was voyeured...
It was a situation I considered insignificant (maybe I'm just jaded); but my fiance didn't see it that way. As a matter of fact she felt strongly about it. And we squabbled a bit about it (my fault.) She subsequently opted to stay covered on our vacation.
It almost ruined our St Martin trip for me; and I didn't get to hang out with the nudists I had set up a meet-up with. I wasn't too happy.
I initially felt my nudist efforts had been annihilated in one single stroke due to this imprudent person. But I know see it as a setback as opposed to a final blow. I know there are many right here among us who have faced a similar situation.
But that was two months ago and I have had time to ponder the situation. And voyeurism.
My fiance indeed reacted strongly to being voyeured. And I started remembering about my ex, who had a much different attitude about it. It was a combination of defiance and...compassion. I'll explain later.
I'm not going to elaborate too much on the ex's background story. She started out reluctant - same as my fiance, got into home-nudism, lukewarmly tried resort nudity. It wasn't until she found herself - reluctantly - in the insulated and homogeneous environment of the non-landed club that she became comfortable being completely naked with other nudists. Her "naked confidence" during that time increased due to the relationships we were fostering. She accepted being looked at naked because she knew people were looking at HER and not her individual body parts. And even if they were, it was respectfully, and followed by some sort of positive comment/compliment.
When we started attending larger and busier venues, she took her "naked confidence" with her. At that stage she had started shaving and sat/lied in a way that was comfortable to her; which sometimes meant legs ajar.
Due to her "unique" physical attributes and natural exhuberance...she got voyeured. Sometimes it was inconspicuously; sometimes it was much more blatant. Especially if she happened to be applying sunscreen.
And her attitude about it was defiance...and compassion.
Defiance because she felt strongly that nudism was about "having nothing to hide"; and it had taken her a while to be totally comfortable naked, and she wasn't going to let a "voyeur" undo the comfort levels she had achieved.
Compassion because she felt that voyeurs were more ignorant than malicious. Ignorant of the fact that they did not understand that nudity - with all its bits and nooks and crannies - is natural and not something to be glossed over. She even stated once that she felt sorry for people at the resort that still got hung up on what body part they were seeing; especially considering everyone else was also naked.
And so she just refused to hide.
Voyeurism is unfortunately a nearly unavoidable part of public nudity. But as I learned with my fiance, you can't dictate how our women are going to feel about it. Of course, my ex had a lot more time and opportunities to "train" herself on how to react - or not react - to being voyeured. Not everyone is going to "get there." That fact hit home for me with my fiance in St Martin. And now I have to start all over with her.
I sympathize Nudony!
We had a similar issue/incident many years ago and social nudism took a step backwards. Long story short; beach day, I was down at the water and some jackass figured it was a good opportunity to come and try and talk to Di, sporting an erection. She turned away, he followed and then I was running back up to our chairs and he beelined outta there!
Di was not happy, we had to leave the beach and I just let it go. It was a while but Di was the one that suggested that we visit the beach again. I figured we were done with visiting the beach. She thought about it and figured that that was going to happen now and then but it wasn't going to be a common occurrence, when you're in that environment. Maybe your fiance will just need some time to work it out herself but it wouldn't hurt to apologize for anything you might think you might have done wrong! ;-) Better to eat a little crow then for her to give up on nudism completely.
Sending best wishes and best of luck with working this out! ;-)
I'll never understand this. Every woman I've ever known spends a great deal of time and effort daily making themselves look attractive so that other people will look at them, but when they get naked they want to be invisible. They don't want anyone to see them. Can someone please explain this to me.
I'll never understand this. Every woman I've ever known spends a great deal of time and effort daily making themselves look attractive so that other people will look at them, but when they get naked they want to be invisible. They don't want anyone to see them. Can someone please explain this to me.
Can you please explain what this response has to do with what happened to Nudony's fiance or to my wife?
Does spending time doing something that makes women feel better about themselves or for their significant other, mean they are asking to be leered, gawked or voyeured. I'm positive neither me nor Nudony mentioned anything about that with regards to what our significant others and the situation they were put in with these two creeps.
I'll never understand this. Every woman I've ever known spends a great deal of time and effort daily making themselves look attractive so that other people will look at them, but when they get naked they want to be invisible. They don't want anyone to see them. Can someone please explain this to me.
At a nudist resort my wife was sitting and relaxing on a deck chair after having been in the pool with our sons. Her hair was wet and stringy and she was not wearing any make up. That did not stop a perv from approaching her with a full erection. I was in the pool. She called to me. the perv ran off. We reported him and he was told to leave.
I'll never understand this. Every woman I've ever known spends a great deal of time and effort daily making themselves look attractive so that other people will look at them, but when they get naked they want to be invisible. They don't want anyone to see them. Can someone please explain this to me.
Reading your response, it comes across to me that you're ok with a man sporting an erection violating a woman's space just because she likes to look attractive.
Boy, do we have a long way to go.
I'll never understand this. Every woman I've ever known spends a great deal of time and effort daily making themselves look attractive so that other people will look at them, but when they get naked they want to be invisible. They don't want anyone to see them. Can someone please explain this to me.Reading your response, it comes across to me that you're ok with a man sporting an erection violating a woman's space just because she likes to look attractive.Boy, do we have a long way to go.
I've noticed a pattern with guys like this. I've only known this poster on the internet and have had similar discussions on many topics where this attitude surfaces. I do NOT mean any harm or disrespect to men in certain situations where they are single, either by choice or by death of a spouse but these older, single men seem mad, upset, angered by women because of their single status. They become so stubborn, narrow minded and inflexible with just about any issue that differs from theirs and especially strong willed women. It's almost as though women have somehow made their lives miserable or hurt them in some way that most strong willed, independent women somehow become the enemy or adversary.
Most times I chose to ignore many of these types of postings by angry men but felt compelled to respond because I felt the same way you did, nattravellers.
Nudony I hate that for you guys. My wife after a bad experience our 1st time out said she would never go again meaning socially nude. It was a few years and thankfully it turned out to be a hiatus instead of the never again. I was edgy as hell when we finally did successfully get out socially. I literally was on guard duty to avert another bad experience. And yes I did deflect some unwanted attention towards her from time to time.
In short after she continued to grow in her own skin gaining confidence in her social nudity I felt I could relax myself. Don't get me wrong I still keep very aware for her. She is quite at home at our club and if I should not be near her she defiantly has demonstrated she can handle that random problem visitor.
I truly hope you guys can recover from the bad experience.
Thanks all for the support!!
Yeah...it was tough...but heck I've been there before. And I'm definitely not quitting now!
As far as getting my fiance to re-join the nudist ranks...well it's going to take some work and patience. She still goes nude at home; so I'm confident now that we can rebuild from there!
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