Making Friends on TN: Least creeper-like way to say Hello
I'm trying to make friends on TN (preferably around my own age) by striking up as many conversations with people whose profiles make them seem interesting and fun to talk to.
Many of these people are women, and just by reading the comments on their photos, I can only imagine how many crude and degrading chat-up lines they get from men who are looking for sex and not conversation. I'm sure some of these males may even start out speaking pleasantly but their true intention is eventually revealed. Therefore it would seem that many, if not all women have probably been severely jaded by men who misinterpret the purpose of this site.
Given this situation, what steps could I take to help assure those I'm contacting that I am genuinely interested in conversation without any ulterior motive? Obviously it's important to actually add a personalized comment with any friend request, but should I also send a regular message as well since I'm not sure if friend request comments can be responded to?
I'm also just starting to ease into nudism, meaning I'm not comfortable with posting nude photos to my profile just yet, though I would be comfortable letting someone see me nude once I've talked to them and confirm they actually are who they claim to be. But I've noticed that some people won't even consider a friend request unless the person has a nude photo up front.
Ultimately, I want to start up great friendships with people around the world and in my own backyard, regardless of whether or not nudism even comes up in conversation (though I figure it would most the time). But it's difficult to convey one's genuine character to a stranger at the first hello, even when meeting in person, much less through text and a handful of pictures.
So I just want to get as much advice as I can so as to ensure that my first contact is as genuine and friendship-conducive as possible those who are at first essentially strangers, but could become great friends.
The message you include with a friend request is truncated to just a few lines, and cannot be responded to - so probably good to send a regular message. There's nothing wrong with your photo - a reasonably natural picture with your face in it is the most important thing to post. Anything which shows you in a social context - whether photo or info in your profile - is helpful both to reveal interesting stuff about you, and to demonstrate that you are not, in fact, a creep whose life is spent at the keyboard in his mom's basement.
There is this assumption that just because this is a nudist website, that everyone that is a member here should be completely and entirely open to nude friendship with anyone. That is not reality. You don't make friends in the textile world any different.
Friendships are made when you talk over many different things, topics, issues and find commonality with others, beside living nude or nudity as a past time. Just because you and everyone else on this site professes to be a nudist, doesn't automatically give you or anyone instant access into their lives; nude or clothed or make people receptive to friendship any easier than in the textile world. It's probably much harder being this is the internet.
The best way to make friends is to get involved in groups. Once you're in the group, get involved in discussions. Open up some and allow others to get to know you a little. Find some commonality with some people and send them a message to increase the communication and don't automatically request friendship. Many members have decided to make all their photos "Friends Only." Members who want to make friends quickly, with other members that may have lots of pictures in their profile and have them set to "Friends Only, " or "Certified Friends Only" do so to keep those just wanting to look at pictures, at arms length or further.
Don't get caught up in the saying that "Nudists are the friendliest people." Nudists are just people and we carry our own personal baggage with us whether we are clothed or naked.
Not to bring the conversation to us, but to relate why we joined TN, and how we reach out to make friends: We signed up for TN to develop a circle of friends that share our fondness of being natural/nude. Hoping that in the profiles wed find they enjoy other things/activities we do. We very quickly learned there are a lot of not so genuine people on here, and got discouraged. We were close to giving up when we received a very nice message, just saying Hello and welcoming us to the community. We became TN friends, then met in person and now talk on the phone and text, meet up for BBQs and such. So our message is, dont push it, rush it or give up. Be polite, respectful and friendly. It will come to you. Block the creeps, and the ones that cant read a profile that says you are NOT swingers and no single males. If you are a single male, and one of the exceptions from being a wacko, creep or looking-Lou, you still cant send a friend request to someone that asks you not too. Youre just going to get blocked and they will warn others about you. Be respectful, let people see your opinions on the message boards, read your interests and beliefs, the right people will reach out to you. Best thing you can do is be involved here like Andy said previously. Sometimes, I get the feeling he is The Godfather of TN, very wise. Good Luck!
All of the above is useful and relevant. Try the suggestions, go slow and be patient.
Looking for new friends? When you look at profile and see someone with 250+ friends, send them a request - they'll accept anyone :))
OR, try it this way -
Read the potential candidates full profile carefully. Mine has very definite information. For instance - I say, "Don't send friend requests without previous message contacts". Ignoring peoples stated desires will get you declined and blocked in a nanosecond. If you don't care enough to read the profile, and follow requests, others won't be amenable to your friendship.
When you send a message - point out real commonalties. I have several friends who do not meet my profile's stated goals because they offered a conversation about things we both like, or do, or live nearby. And I am glad for it. I always give priority consideration to those where meeting personally is likely.
I abhor those who post either overt or subtle sexual comments on their media pics. I can't tell you how any idiots I've immediately blocked because I found their comments offensively crude and disrespectful, regardless of their relationship status. Rude is just that, rude.
OMG! 22Tango2, We can not agree with you more with everything you said but most specifically with regards to commenting on pictures. In what world is it appropriate to make a suggestive or overt sexual comment about a female in the picture of a married couple?? And what do you hope to happen when they/she reads it?? Shell leave her husband just to jump your bones??? On the creep meter, youre off the charts and earn yourself a one way ticket to Blocks-Ville mister! Even something as minor as nice breasts makes me uncomfortable. We post pictures here like others do on facebook, because it shows us enjoying life, unashamed of our bodies and opening ourselves/lives up to those who share our way of thinking. If youre looking for monkey-spanking material, you dont understand our way of life and are on the wrong site!
Okay, Im climbing off my soapbox now....
My 2 cents.
I joined TN to learn from others about social nudity having had recently discovered the joys of being nude around others. After joining, upgrading my membership and getting certified, I mistakenly thought that TN is Facebook for nudist. I accepted every friend request and requested friendships with people I thought I want to know.
It only took a few month to find out that you don't really need to be friends with people here to find information about the joys of social nudity. All you have to do is join groups that you are interested in and contribute, read Forum post in areas that describes who you are and not in areas you are not a member of i.e. "Women Only" or "Couples Only." Contribute and you will find it just as easy to communicate with people as it is if you are TN Friends.
It's tough to battle to way some people think. I have been told that it's rude to say " Hi. How are you today? " to start a conversation. Talk about someone who is jaded...how is that rude?
I understand why the women can get like that on here...There are lots of creepers. But why do they have to assume immediately. On the same note....Why do MARRIED men who are not on here as a couple get treated like they are single? My choice is to be shown as married and be Certified...or lie and claim that my wife is on here with me (and not be certified) because she doesn't want to post nude pics or send one in to be certified.
It only took a few month to find out that you don't really need to be friends with people here to find information about the joys of social nudity. All you have to do is join groups that you are interested in and contribute, read Forum post in areas that describes who you are and not in areas you are not a member of i.e. "Women Only" or "Couples Only." Contribute and you will find it just as easy to communicate with people as it is if you are TN Friends.
That's how it is with me. I have no hang-ups about friends on TN. Like anyone else they are a mixed bunch. BUT I got a lot of encouragement through TN group discussions when I first ventured into nudity big time. I still do! As you say:- just tune into the groups and discussions that relate to yourself and your wider interests.
Either TN is a better quality of people or things have changed in nudism over the last couple of decades. I remember posting a similar question on an online nudist forum when I was in my twenties and getting hammered. Why only your age? Why are you discriminating? Just post, you silly person! Im glad that folks are being helpful now. Its the only way the movement will grow.
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