Gay guy here. My question is... why do some men say they are straight or N/A on thier profile on this site but on the trueswingers site the same guys will say they are bicurious? And join a lot of the gay groups?
I can only guess by relating personal experience. Ive been a member of a masturbation chat site for years. At first, I flagged myself as straight because that was my primary attraction, and I think that the straight, bi/bi-curious, and gay labels dont adequately describe human sexuality. After years of making the tiresome explanation in that chat of how I could be straight but still enjoy activity with other guys, I realized that even if theyre inadequate, those labels serve a purpose in such online forums. So, the label I apply to myself is contextual, and Id guess that its similar for some of them: they list their primary (or at least public) attraction here on the non-sexual site, using another on the sexual site to show what theyre open to.
Why so many?
I think most people equate male nudity with sex. So, the first thought of seeing a couple of guys naked is "gay". Many guys would avoid that situation so they aren't judged. If you are not interested in sex, what difference does one's personal choices make?
I have my bed partner.
My nudist buddies are straight and gay. Younger and older. In shape and not quite so in shape. Pale, dark and many shades in between. They are all open to accepting people for who they are. They're all fun, ready for outdoor adventure and most importantly, respectful.
One can be a nudist and maintain boundaries.
I made a post earlier about how the site works better for gays because the dynamic of straight guys driving women off the site doesn't affect us much. A friend wrote, taking that as a criticism of straight male nudists. I certainly don't mean that. But I see posts from women reporting being swamped with overtures. Most of the people on this site aren't really nudists, after all, except in front of the bathroom mirror and the computer screen, and there are a LOT of them. Which does drive the women away. Which does mean that straight men, who may be used to the company of women in real life, find themselves in a very male environment here, which some guys might be fine with and others find unrewarding. For gays, the whole solicitation thing doesn't have the same radical asymmetry, so we're less likely than women to get creeped right off the site, and more likely than straight men to make social and personal connections. So there are lots of on here, which is the thread topic.
There's a broader social problem, not limited to nudism, that male sexuality is seen as inherently toxic and wrong somehow, and males thus inherently suspect. The NO SINGLE MEN thing is part of that, and a real shame.
Ich glaube das es gar nicht soooo viele sind. Sondern sie sind nur offener mit der Ansprache von Fremden, die sie Kontaktieren.
Nein ich bin nicht schwul oder stehe auf Mnner.
I don't think there are that many. They are just more open to addressing strangers they contact.
No, I'm not gay or into men.
In response to the gay guy question earlier in the thread...I have a very young friend on TN who almost shut down his profile because he was accused of being gay, which he isn't. Being naked with another naked guy should not be perceived as being gay. Up until the early 1980s this long accepted practice swung in the opposite direction plus the advent of internet porn did not help either.
Furthermore, I think that quite a few of the remaining straight men who love being nude still could have a hang-up or two about being naked around other people, and in particular men, for various reasons.First, some straight men just feel weird about being naked around other men and are basically grossed out by another man's nudity (I guess these are the men who cannot separate nudity from sex). Second, some men may feel like it's gay or that they could be perceived as gay if they hangout naked with other men (again, the root cause of this is the inability to separate nudity from sex). Third, some straight or closeted gay men are repulsed by or at least uncomfortable with the idea of gay men possibly eyeing them up (again, this has to do with a more sexual view on nudity).
Sometime around 1979, near the beginning of the movement away from comfort with male-male nudity, I went to a an employee party at a private home with a sauna; at one point the host and hostess invited anyone who cared to, to join the host in the sauna. A group of maybe six of us, all men, went. I undressed - at that date the universal expectation for sauna - as did the host. Most of the rest did not. And as we settled in , one of the guys joked "Now we know who the gay guys are." He probably had no idea anyone in the group was actually gay, and I was likely the only gay one. But the comment hit me like a thunderclap, even though it wasn't directed at me in any personal way, because it showed me the world was changing. The idea that male-male nudity was a gay thing was brand new - I'd never been exposed to it before. It's certainly very limiting.
wkunterbunt wrote:Ich glaube das es gar nicht soooo viele sind. Sondern sie sind nur offener mit der Ansprache von Fremden, die sie Kontaktieren.Nein ich bin nicht schwul oder stehe auf Mnner.I don't think there are that many. They are just more open to addressing strangers they contact.No, I'm not gay or into men.
Thank you for the translation! My German is a bit rusty now, but I could make out the first sentence. But the word "Shwul" was a new one for me. Was that in common use in Germany back in the 1970s? Or is that a new one? (I wonder if it was like the word "gay" in English. It's been around for centuries, but in my youth you didn't hear it used much for homosexuals. The words we used were "queer" or "fag" or "homo" instead.)
I think the more appropriate question is "why do str8 guys think all gay guys want them?" In a nutshell, get over yourself as I think that's a very bigoted and arrogant attitude. A while back, I was at a Korean spa. I noticed this guy keep looking at me...everywhere he went he'd lock back at me to see if I was "checking him out" which is arrogance personified. He went to one of the saunas, I followed him and I asked "why do you keep looking back at me with your every move". There was no reply. I told him that he needed to relax and get over himself thinking that every guy there wanted him and assured him that I wasn't looking at his "junk". Gay guys are everywhere both out and DL. That hardly means that a gay guy is always checking another guy out for sex. There have been discussions here--on other boards--about how MOST guys--str8 and gay--size each other out. It's natural. However, that does not mean that a gay man wants you any more than an str8 guy does. Relax and enjoy nudism.
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