Stranger on the Couch
posted this awhile ago, but just joined this group and wanted to see what people think!
Chapter 1
I woke up with a start, raising my head and looking around my messy bedroom as I rubbed my eyes. I soon realized that I could have been awakened by the pounding in my head. Too many martinis last night? I tried to remember and came up blank.
In desperate need of aspirin, I pulled the comforter off me and immediately felt the room's chilly air on my naked body. I loved that feeling. It helped wake me up every morning, and in my opinion, was one of the best things about sleeping nude.
Of course, being a nudist for my entire adult life, I didn't just sleep nude - I lived nude. And that's how I walked from my bedroom to my rental house's small kitchen. I didn't notice that my bedroom door was closed when I woke up, which should have been a sign that something was off.
Running one hand over my hairy chest and scratching my balls with the other, I stumbled to the kitchen and turned on the coffee maker. Mmmmm... Caffeine... While the machine revved itself to life, I fished through the medicine drawer for some aspirin to get my own motor going. Two tablets downed with a slurp of water from the faucet, and I knew I'd be feeling better soon.
As the coffee chugged along, I noticed the empty vodka bottle on the kitchen counter, as well as several empty martini glasses. I moaned, still not quite remembering the evening before. The ghost of distant laughter echoed in my ear, as I vaguely remembered my roommate Craig refilling my glass as we made fun of something or someone we knew. I tried to make the memory come info focus when the sound of coffee dripping into the pot brought me back to reality. I grabbed a mug from the cabinet and waited impatiently for my caffeine fix.
As I stood there, I realized that one part of me had already woken up. I glanced down at my morning wood with a shake of my head, wishing the blood could rush to my brain as easily as it ran to my groin.
Just then, another sound got my attention - footsteps in the living room. I checked the clock on the kitchen wall and realized that my roommate would be leaving for work soon. "Coffee's almost ready," I called out to him as I pulled down a second mug for him. When he didn't answer, I made my way around the kitchen peninsula, walking toward the living room. My erection bounced as I walked, but my roommate had certainly seen it before so I didn't think twice about it.
Maybe I should have.
When I stepped into the living room, I didn't find my roommate. Instead, I found a complete stranger folding up the blankets on the couch where he had obviously slept the night before. He was tall with a full head of dark hair in dire need of a brush. His tight black T-shirt showed every muscle on his back, and pulled up just enough to show the waistband of his matching black boxer briefs, which fit tight on his muscular ass.
The man set the folded blankets on the couch and turned. He practically jumped when he saw me standing there. "Jake! You scared me!" he cried out.
Wait - he knew my name?
Before I could say anything, I caught his eye and smiled. At that moment, I could tell that he had just realized that I was naked. He returned my smile, and his eyes ran down my exposed body, lingering at my groin. Never had I been so aware of my morning hardon, and never before had it been this strong.
The man walked towards me. "Is there coffee?" he asked with a smirk as he moved past me into the kitchen.
I hesitated a moment, then turned and followed him, defiantly naked and determined to find out exactly who he was.
Nicely written and an intriguing opening that begs the question of what's going on. The thing about a first chapter posted alone this way is we have no idea where this is this going. With a book you sort of know from the picture on the cover and the words on the jacket what you're getting into. With a book you at least know the premise, but here we have no way yet of knowing even the type of story we're reading. Is it a murder mystery? Erotic thriller? Romance? Time travel?
My own taste, on a site like this, tends to run toward stand alone short stories. I like to get in, get the whole story in one sitting and move on. That's just me, perhaps, but the very fact you started with "Chapter One" almost made skip it simply because I don't know where it's going and if this will be where I want to invest my time.
But again, that's me and I sure don't speak for everyone.
This is well done. You're a good writer and I'm glad you shared your story here. It's an intriguing start, but I confess I'd really love to see a full, self-contained short story from you.
Curious to hear what others have to say. This Group is somewhat new and I think it's still finding itself and what it's all about. Post like this help explore that direction, based on how reader react.
Well written, I'm in for chapter 2. I dont know where its headed either, but it flows well and has my interest. I like short stories too, but I think a longer story that has regular updates will be well received as well. Also reminds me of a similar situation when I was in college, although my couch inhabitant didn't wake until I had retreated and put on some boxers!
Carry on, I'm intrigued :)
Isn't "Stranger On The Couch" the title?
It sounds like the beginning of an erotic story to me. I also prefer the short story presented as a whole or no more than 2 parts, otherwise you just get strung along, and the author seems to take cues on which way to go from the comments of the readers.
But I see there is still no chapter 2 so....
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