What interests me in an Older/Younger Mentorship
The first time I was aware of being naked was with my father in the swimming pool locker room. As soon as I saw him naked, I was aware of the other older men as well, and my curiosity led to staring, which was quickly stopped by him. Ever since, I was curious to see and understand more.
I think that when we don't have an outlet for honest interest, our initial curiosity can quickly turn into something sexualized if not an obsession. I think that in starting the conversation at a younger age we're able to separate the two more clearly, and at the same time making any emotional connection all the more intimate.
Now older, I still desire that connection and the simultaneous vulnerability and intimacy that's created when we guys remove our clothes. An initial connection is naturally forged, and then it's up to us.
Intergenerational nudity is the most traditional and natural thing ever, at least going back more than a few generations, due to historical scarcity of clothes and comfortable indoor space. We value it because its often the closest we experience to unconditional acceptance and innocent intimacy. My two sons are wary of nudity as not being normal like their friends, so I use shower and bedtime as my chance to go naked around them. Now my older son who is 15 is starting to feel more comfortable with the idea, dashing for clothes in 4.2 seconds, not exactly casual, but its a welcome start.
Thanks for your story; you had a great childhood and introduction to social nudity. I was raised by grandparents so it wasn't until I got to high school swimming lessons that I was naked with other boys in the communal changing room. It didn't bother me at all, and soon I noticed that while most of the boys had tiny undeveloped 'willies' my own was quite big and thick. We all reached puberty at different rates. Then when I started work as an apprentice we all stripped for the showers after work. No problem, except I was amazed to see some really big cocks! Still it was all natural to me, but up to then I had never seen a woman naked except in magazines.
The first time I was aware of being naked was with my father in the swimming pool locker room. As soon as I saw him naked, I was aware of the other older men as well, and my curiosity led to staring, which was quickly stopped by him. Ever since, I was curious to see and understand more.I think that when we don't have an outlet for honest interest, our initial curiosity can quickly turn into something sexualized if not an obsession. I think that in starting the conversation at a younger age we're able to separate the two more clearly, and at the same time making any emotional connection all the more intimate.Now older, I still desire that connection and the simultaneous vulnerability and intimacy that's created when we guys remove our clothes. An initial connection is naturally forged, and then it's up to us.
There are a few other things going on besides the privileging of the sense of sight. Young kids don't have the skills to objectify a human being yet. Yes, it is true that when we first remember seeing the mature adult men of our species if we hadn't before, there are striking differences that immediately catch the eye. Pubic hair, larger genitals, hair all over, beards, etc.
However, wonder, surprise, fear, dismay and in some cases like my own, arousal are all natural reactions to the novel and the unknown about each other. In a kid, these all look and sound much more alike one another than in an adult. So we want to be careful with asserting across the board that nudity is sexualizing kids. Human sexual development is uneven between individuals and may vary wildly in terms of effects and triggers. There were other things at play in that moment for all of us.
1) Scent. Feces, Urine, Sweat, Musk, ever single body secretion that contains pheromones is in that locker room. It's a soup of male sex chemicals. The first thing to hit anyone going in for the first time was the smell. Whether you acknowledge it or not, it was there. The first place you noticed nude bodies was in the change room. Then the shower. Then the pool. The whole mixture of masculinity was easily overwhelming for most youngsters.
So my point is if there was a forge, it was much bigger and wider than imagined and it is not reducible to sight alone. And those of us who respond to the male pheromones overwhelmingly turn out to be bi or gay and that's not an accident.
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