What is a trouble to see each other?
We are nudists. We are nude. When we get together, we see each other.
Someone sometimes says "It is not about seeing people nude, it is about nude life". OK. Understood.
But then someone says: "You can look, but you cannot stare". But don't say, where is the border between "look" and "stare"? OK. Understood.
Third thing: "We are here not to see or show". But we see. And we show.
In clothed world, there is not a problem to try to look beautiful or even attractively and to see at beautiful and attractive people... I mean, beautiful heads and "attarctive" clothes.
But what's wrong with our true look?
The Nature created us that way. We consider each other beautiful.
And we consider the opposite sex attractive. It is essential for reproduction of mankind. It is true. Don't lie to yourself.
What is the problem, if I am beautiful, and I go to nude beach, and people say that I am beautiful?
What if I met a woman there, and I say her that she is beautiful?
OK, I don't go on nude beach for that. But simply what if?..
It can be easily on clothed world. But what is wrong on nude world?
All this is without any hint of harassment: we are free people, we can't enforce each other to do sex or something like that. We just talk about our natural features. Anyway, if we like each other, we can continue our relations elsewhere.
I have posted on this topic many times. I think what has happened is that in an effort to discourage exhibitionists and voyeurs, the nudist community has embraced and touted these "tenets" about "looking." Whereas I do get it, I feel it sends a rather ambiguous message.
Because people are going to "look." Curiosity is just part of human nature; as well as appreciation. But we also owe it to our fellow nudists and newbies to not make them feel self-conscious or uncomfortable. More seasoned nudists can often handle a compliment or a positive affirming "look." But one should never assume. It's pretty easy reading the body language of someone who is not comfortable being looked at. When it's happened I have averted my eyes. Particularly when it comes to newbies, I don't want to make them feel "watched" and infringe upon their comfort being socially nude.
But if it's not a problem, it's not a problem. Walking into the pool area of a nudist resort and being seen arriving naked can be a very affirming experience. Running into a nudist friend and seeing them naked, and vice-versa, can lead to an instant feeling of "connection." My wife's nudist confidence grew during her first time at the nudist resort, after socializing a bit and realizing that since other nudists could see her naked, and she could see them naked too, there was really nothing to get "hung up" about.
Nudist icon Diane Webber spoke of this too. Her take on it was that it was completely natural to look at other nudists in appreciation.
My wife's nudist confidence grew during her first time at the nudist resort, after socializing a bit and realizing that since other nudists could see her naked, and she could see them naked too, there was really nothing to get "hung up" about.
People watching is a great pastime amongst both clothed and nude people. Why not? And why not appreciate those we particularly like? Also, as with the man's wife above, being seen naked boosts my self confidence. Maybe I like being seen naked more than I like seeing others naked. That isn't voyeurism or exhibitionism. It is just another way of sharing our free and open selves socially and with no sexual connotations.
When you stare at someone clothed or nude, they become an object, not a person. Looking a person in the face lets them know that you are interested in what they have to say and not just their body. We are so much more than an object to be stared at.
I do agree that in a nudist situation seeing people nude and being nude is the whole idea. It allows you to feel free and gives you confidence and affirmation that you are not the only one who would rather be naked. And that it is best to help newbies to feel more comfortable by acknowledging them but to not comment on their bodies. I have found that once you start talking to people, they start pointing out the things on their body that they were hiding and are now freely showing you.
Nudists aren't nude to show themselves off to anyone. Exhibitionists are, attention seekers are. That's not nudism.
Personally, I think this is an oversimplification. People are rarely only one thing. It is quite possible to be a nudist (in the sense of being naked in order to enjoy the feeling of being naked in a non-sexual) and to enjoy a compliment or even enjoy being stared at. But the important point is not this, but that it is also quite usual to be a nudist who does not enjoy that, and that in order to make everyone feel comfortable, staring and giving unsolicited complements about the body should not be done.
My mom taught me when I was a youngster that it's rude to stare. I don't worry about if they want
to be stared at or not; or if my intentions are to show flattery... I just follow that rule that I learned many
years ago and it has served me well. :-)
My mom taught me when I was a youngster that it's rude to stare.
And I was taught to look someone in the eyes when I talk to them. That's staring. So I think the question/issue is not so much about staring; but rather what is being stared at.
I think that most nudists understand that staring (which is defined as "looking fixedly or vacantly at someone or something with one's eyes wide open") at a naked body part, insofar as to make the person being looked at uncomfortable, is rude. I personal take issue with this, as my wife almost dropped out of nudism after a man "looked fixedly" at her body at the nude beach. She felt objectified/sexualized; and rightly so. And it's happened to me as well.
But sometimes I think some nudists tend to lump any sort of "observing" into the "staring" category. Certainly, some nudists do not care about what is going on around them. They enjoy being "in their own personal space"; and there's nothing wrong with that. For others, "people-watching" and connecting with the nudist environment is a more fulfilling experience. And there's nothing wrong with that either. There is a distinction between "casually observing" and "staring." And it's more gray than black-and-white.
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