I friend people by what they have in their profile that I find interesting or something we have in common. I accept all friend request sent to me and determine later whether or not we have something in common. If I join a group and I see an interesting member on there I may send them a friend request. It is up to them whether or not they accept it. I don't get upset if they don't. the revelation of one's sexual orientation may be helpful in determining what you may have in common but stating one's sexual orientation is unnecessary unless you are planning to have sex and since this is not a hook-up site it is not important.
We live in a world where we think we need to label everyone. "He is a banker." "She is a nurse." That may be what they do for a living but it really isn't them. When we get naked we all have the same uniform, some more wrinkled than others, but notice there is no place to pin a label. I will love you or hate you for how you treat me or others. What people do in private should remain that, but if they put it out for the public to view they should be ready to deal with it.
We are a society that screams for acceptance but we don't accept someone who thinks differently than us.
I/we don't give a hoot about anyone's sexual orientation. What we care about is the person's character. We can be friends with anyone but there are some things others believe in and push that we can not tolerate. Being uncivil, being disrespectful, rudeness, meanness, being cruel to others because they are different. We find it so hypocritical of nudists to be this way. They speak out of one side of their mouths about wanting society to accept nudists and nudism but speak of exclusion in many ways of many different people.
I BLOCK lots of people. I look over their profiles. If I find that they share no information about who they are and their nudist life. If I find they only post that they are gay, bi, trans G, straight and nothing else about who they are. If I find that they have 100's of friends, have joined dozens of groups and never post to any of those groups, it tells me that they are joining only to see pictures in group galleries and asking for friendship to see other's pictures. If I find they join dozens of groups that never contribute to discussions in groups, If I find they have photos in their gallery of a sexual nature, it tells me they are here for the wrong reasons. If they visit our profile and I make a return visit to theirs, only to find it Private. I BLOCK all these people because I have nothing in common with them so why would I want to be friends.
Other nudist sites I know don't have a sexual orientation category in their profile section. The question, perhaps, is why do this site's administrators include it here?
There is always a debate and discussion to be had about non-sexual nudism. About where the line is between naturism and sexuality. We do not cease to be sexual beings when we are naked alone or in groups as nudists. However, we don't necessarily get naked alone or in groups for sexual reasons either. It depends on the individuals, groups and circumstances.
What I find annoying (I'm sorry to put it like this) on this site is that sexuality is front and centre, so to speak, on everybody's profile page. Yet, discussions of sex are almost taboo and people are perceived as perverts if they raise sexual topics. There is a palpable double-standard in how this site has seemingly deliberately aligned sexuality and nudism on the one hand, and the prudishness that pervades much of the site on the other. Is this cognitive dissonance? Or just hypocrisy? Or even repression?
Nudism for me is nothing to do with sex. It just so happens that we are usually naked when we have sex. In my opinion, this site would be truer to its name, and possibly not attract so many people that are not 'true nudists', if they removed the sexual orientation category altogether from members' profiles.
Nudism for me is nothing to do with sex. It just so happens that we are usually naked when we have sex. In my opinion, this site would be truer to its name, and possibly not attract so many people that are not 'true nudists', if they removed the sexual orientation category altogether from members' profiles.
Well, to me, sexual orientation does not have a lot to do with sex either. My sexual orientation tells you more about who I want to spend my life with than who I have sex with. Yes, I do happen to have sex with the person I want to spend my life with, obviously, but equating sexual orientation with sex is too simplistic.
Also, my sexual orientation is an important part of me - for better and for worse, my sexual orientation (and society's attitudes towards my sexual orientation) has had a huge impact on how I live my life and how I regard many things in life, including nudity. I will argue that it is as important as my gender, my age and my occupation. If all information that does not concern nudism were to be removed from the profiles, not much would be left. And that would be a pity - after all, we're here to get to know each others as whole human beings, not just as nudists, aren't we?
I agree with you Bjorn. You make a good point. Sexuality (or sexual orientation) and sex are of course not the same thing. I don't mean to suggest that they are. Merely to illustrate the point that for me, I do not feel defined by my sexuality or sexual orientation. It is part of who I am - a fundamental part, yes - but I am defined by many other aspects of my self and my life too.
My opinion is a purely personal one in this regard. I do not believe that there is one right answer, but rather each person relates to this in their own way. And I respect that others may have very different views on this than I do.
I do not profess removing all details from profiles. That is very extreme and not at all what I was getting at.
For me, personally, my experience and relationship to naturism/nudism is a spiritual and liberating one. I want to meet people here on TN, and get to know them. When I meet someone in everyday life, I don't immediately ask them about their sexual orientation. If I get to know the person, I will no doubt also get to know about this at some point.
Yes, we want to get to know the whole person. And I assume that if I meet them on this site that they are nudists. If I was on a dating site, then I would consider including my sexual orientation in my profile as very relevant. Is this a dating site? Is it a pick up site? Do a lot of people use this site for sexual reasons?
I come here first and foremost to meet people who share my passion for nudism/naturism. What they like, how they perceive themselves, and -yes - their sexual orientation are all parts of what make people fascinating. Friendships are formed as we share and discover these things about one another over time. My sexuality is a fundamental part of who I am, and those that take the time to get to know me discover this part of me along with the many other facets of my life and who I am.
Including sexuality on the main profile pages does, I believe, contribute to a kind of sexual window shopping that is very prevalent on this site.
Again, I repeat that this is purely my own personal experience and opinion, and I totally respect that other people may have different views and experiences. That is one of the reasons I am a member on this site - to meet people with different experiences and beliefs and views than myself.
You may as well ask why the site asks for age, education, marital status, income or occupation. They are all parts of what describes the wider person, as does sexual orientation. We are not just nudists here. We are people, with fully rounded personalities, upbringing and life history. And those personalities affect the approach to nudity which each of us takes.
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