Responding when you hear "No one wants to see me naked".
When I'm talking with my friends and co-workers about nudism, trying to help them understand what it is and why I practice it as a lifestyle, I often get all kinds of responses, but I most often hear "OK, but no one wants to see me naked." I always try to tell them that the sort of sexual mentality they're using to approach the subject is not really what Nudism/Naturism is about, I try to tell them that they're beautiful no matter what they think and that they should have more confidence in themselves, and I try to tell them that if they tried it they'll probably find more acceptance about their body. I never seem to get through to them though. It's hard to deal with other peoples self esteem and modesty issues. Has anyone heard this response before or something similar? and how do you usually deal with it?
I think the sexualizing of all nudity has done this. And the "perfect" bodies from magazines, movies and TV. We are so shamed for our natural bodies. And we feel that nobody would want to see us naked. Even ourselves.
I have been married to my wife for 20+ years, and I think I have seen her completely naked in the light maybe a handful of times. Otherwise she says she is ugly and that I really don't want to see her body. Yes she is a bbw, but I love her and I think she truly is beautiful.... but when I tell her this she says that I am blind. We went to some houses at the Parade of Homes and several houses had full length mirrors in the bathroom or by the closet or in the exercise rooms.. and she would always comment that she would hate to have a room with those mirrors because nobody (especially herself!) wants to see her body.
I am not sure of what else to tell her (or others in the same boat). I know I have come a long way, and even though I have been to social nudism activities a few years ago, I have put on more weight lately, and I even found myself falling back into that lack of self-esteem and extreme self-judgement, when just a couple of weeks ago, I finally had my schedule open up to where I would be able to go to a nude pool party, but then chickened out at the last minute as I felt I had gotten too fat to go.
Us nudists come in all shapes and sizes. Just go to a nude beach or venue and look around to prove it to yourself. I was at a dance in a nude week end last month. A young lady was dancing topless but kept her trousers on even there. I complimented her on her figure and suggested she show it off. She said that nobody had said that to her before. After a few minutes she got completely naked. I danced with her later.
On a completely separate occasion I came across a young couple hiding at the farthest end of a nude beach. She was new to public nudism and thought her figure wasn't good enough. I reassured her it was so much more attractive than most of the others there. She looked around and immediately relaxed.
Naturists get naked for the personal satisfaction that it gives them about themselves. They are not usually overly interested in looking at others (too much!) and would never comment to someone else about their appearance, so it is all about the right mindset I think - it's not about trying to show the world a perfect body. Therefore I think it's a case of trying to sell them the benefits that naturism does for you - increased confidence, sense of freedom and self worth, etc. It's not about trying to please everybody else. If you could get them to a clothing optional beach or venue, that might help.
I think the sexualizing of all nudity has done this. And the "perfect" bodies from magazines, movies and TV. We are so shamed for our natural bodies. And we feel that nobody would want to see us naked. Even ourselves.
Very true and with few common examples of simple non sexual nudity that has become the conventional wisdom nudity = sex but those of us who are genuine know that isnt true and we have to work harder to share that truth
I have a friend who has given my those excuses for years. Given me every excuse in the book. Now she is a Christian like me. So one day we were talking about how nudity is supported in the bible. At the end of the conversation she again told me how she is just not perfect enough. For me it opened a door for me to say a truth i know. I told her. Yes you are. True perfection is the imperfection that makes you unique. God made imperfections. So to say you are not perfect is to say God made a mistake. But God does not make mistakes. You are perfect because of your imperfection. Making you one of the truest beauties of God's creation. She looked at me smiled then we when our separate ways. The next time i saw her we met at my house. And completely catching me off gaurd she imedeately stripped naked as soon as the door closed. She has been naked since. I have not been able to do this for many people but it worked for her and her boy friend.
Unfortunately, the response is not too surprising.
Being approved of as sexually attractive is way too important in modern sensibility, whether we're nude or not. If you take the idea that "nobody wants to see me naked" further, it ends up as "nobody wants to see me" (period). We spend an enormous amount of time and effort adorning ourselves with expensive clothes or other trappings so we are not seen underneath. Actually, basic nudism can dig through some of that, but some nudists slap on their own trappings of sizeism, ageism, sexism, etc which can lead to self consciousness even among our supposed comrades. Acceptance is a work in progress for all of us.
I have a friend who has given my those excuses for years. Given me every excuse in the book. Now she is a Christian like me. So one day we were talking about how nudity is supported in the bible. At the end of the conversation she again told me how she is just not perfect enough. For me it opened a door for me to say a truth i know. I told her. Yes you are. True perfection is the imperfection that makes you unique. God made imperfections. So to say you are not perfect is to say God made a mistake. But God does not make mistakes. You are perfect because of your imperfection. Making you one of the truest beauties of God's creation. She looked at me smiled then we when our separate ways. The next time i saw her we met at my house. And completely catching me off gaurd she imedeately stripped naked as soon as the door closed. She has been naked since. I have not been able to do this for many people but it worked for her and her boy friend.
Well done! Yes the bible says God created man and man created sin and body shame so shame is false, an affront to God aka nature as its a man made projection, one of self oppression. The only perfect person is one that is made up using trick photography!
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