Question: is the term "gay culture" acceptable? Example: In my old neighborhood, the gay culture helped local theatres and independently owned restaurants to flourish.
It would be much better phrasing that thought as "In my old neighborhood, the gay residents helped...".
I met a person about a year who appeared to be male and self-identified as Gold Star Queer. When I asked what that meant, I was told that his dick never entered any orifice! He liked sucking dick and really liked being fucked. My son's ex-wife, after they divorced, came out. However, she describes herself as bisexual. She was married to a man for 17 years, now she is married to a woman. I always thought that Bisexual meant someone who was attracted sexually to both men and women. Am I wrong? I understand that many people eschew labels today, but we need some language in order to talk about human behavior. Art from LI
I am now an older, single male. I enjoyed having sex with a woman. In recent years, I discovered I enjoy sucking dick. What am I? I am looking forward to having sex with a man, don't know whether I am a top or a bottom or both. I could see myself, one day, in a three-way with a man and woman and switching off. What am I? Art from LI
Question: is the term "gay culture" acceptable? Example: In my old neighborhood, the gay culture helped local theatres and independently owned restaurants to flourish.It would be much better phrasing that thought as "In my old neighborhood, the gay residents helped...".
Agreed.
SteveInKona wrote:"Gay Lifestyle" is a rather freighted political term, brought into circulation by gay rights opponents to argue against the idea of homosexuality as something intrinsic to the person. This is generally recognized in the gay community - consider the tag line: "It's not a lifestyle, it's a life."
There's truth in that, but it's not the whole truth. A person does not choose to become gay or straight or in-between, but he or she can choose whether to participate in a life that may favor one sort of sexual behavior or another, or identify themself as a particular flavor of sexuality. That's the De Santis myth: that if kids don't know about gay people or youths struggling with their sexual identity, there won't be any gay people or youths struggling with their sexual identity. Problem solved, he says. But forcing an issue underground really does nothing to make it go away.
Another thing: the gay community was demonized for being more promiscuous than the straight community. Maybe they were, at one time, when sexual liaisons could be made without the consequences of pregnancy or dealing with birth control. But two things happened in the last century to overturn that state of affairs: better and more convenient forms of contraception, and the advent of HIV, which made unprotected sex no longer a matter of convenience. I think that there's more of a parity in sexual promiscuity now than there was before, and less stigma attached to it.
And to that the fact that the people you're more likely to become intimate with are the people with which you have some social connection, like mutual persecution. Thus, religious boundaries were more rigid, as were ethnic boundaries. If I was a gay guy in the first part of the last century, I would have wanted to be with a person that totally understood my social situation. Now those barriers are breaking down, with people having relationships with folks their grandparents would have been appalled at: Blacks marrying whites, Jews marrying Christians, guys marrying guys, and gals marrying gals. I'm not saying it's all good now, but it's better.
I have realized I am a straight guy that loves to fuck women. But when I am drunk and horny I don't like being used by men. I have had men and transvestite jerking me off when I am drunk on beaches. Does that make me bi sexual. I realise it's a label but it's filled with excitement and curiosity
I have realized I am a straight guy that loves to fuck women. But when I am drunk and horny I don't like being used by men. I have had men and transvestite jerking me off when I am drunk on beaches. Does that make me bi sexual. I realise it's a label but it's filled with excitement and curiosity
While worrying about having a name for what you are doing when you are being masturbated by people who aren't your usual sexual connections (male strangers), you may be missing out on some of life's more beautiful, connective experiences. After stating that point, the term 'trisexual' humorously comes to my mind, as in when you are drunk and horny on the beach, you will 'try' anything to release your pent up sexual urges. But humor needs to take a big step back from my answer to you here because of the the very obvious dangers involved in these moments of weakness you are engaging in. If you keep letting your libido be in charge when you're drunk and hard at the beach, you are likely going to run out of luck and get put in jail for having sex in public, run into some person who will harm, rape or murder you instead of masturbate you, catch an STD, etc. The alcohol is lowering your inhibitions and good sense while also allowing you to explore what may very well be deeper sexual fantasies, ideas that your more in control mind stops you from doing when you are sober.
A handjob is still sex; don't try to fool yourself that just because your penis is not entering the other person's body you are not having a sexual encounter. And if you keep getting drunk and visiting the beach like you are, the exciting but fleeting thrill of this kind of activity may begin to lead you further and further away from more healthy sexual pursuits; next time you may be tempted to return the friendly help they are offering your penis with your hand on theirs, or you start to seriously consider accepting their mouth or anus to help you get off when offered. There is nothing wrong with any of these sexual activities between consenting adults, don't misunderstand - it is the public nature of where you are doing it, the anonymity of the persons you are doing it with, and the real possibility of losing control of the situation that is a serious danger to you.
I gently suggest that you put the self-labeling behind you, but if you just have to have a name for what you are doing, call it 'sexually-opportunistic'. What I feel should concern you a lot more than the naming of it - and what needs to be addressed right now - is your continued reliance on this combination of alcohol and its subsequent weakening of your inhibitions that does then entice you to keep going back to the beach for more.
Bisexuality is about being attracted to people of any or all genders. By your short description, what you are doing is not bisexual in nature. I am guessing that your activities on the beach are coming from a more immediate, alcohol-fueled, momentary need to find relief from sexual pressure, or possibly stemming from a need to act out some exhibitionist fantasies. If you instead had a female companion at these times, do you think you would try to get her to fuck on the beach in these circumstances?
By my admittedly limited understanding, bisexuals do sometimes find that their interest in sex with their own gender (or both at once) can fluctuate rather dramatically from one day to the next, so a few minutes with your penis being stroked by another guy's hand isn't defining your life's sexual tendencies. Any bisexuals reading this, please feel free to weigh in on the subject.
If, after these encounters are over - after your semen has been released - you feel a sense of guilt or remorse for allowing a stranger to touch you intimately, it may be time to consider speaking to a professional to help you to understand better why you put yourself in these places and times where you can have sex with anonymous people. Being intimate with others of any sexual identity can be a wonderful experience, but you are playing a most perilous game with your life when you go down this path again and again.
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