Bum identikit

When hiking I'm always the last, I'm slow. When hiking with a group of nudists I get time to analyse their bottoms. Here are some variations:
Are the sides concave (dished in) or convex (plump)?
Is there a little Y at the top of the butt-crack?
How big are they (Women's bums are usually as wide as their shoulders and men's bums are usually as wide as their armpits)?
Are they wrinkly, hairy or smooth?
Do they wobble once or twice with each step?
And (heaven forbid) are there any tan lines?

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