Body Image Issues and Self-Consciousness

I'm sure this topic has come up before but nothing popped up when I searched the forums so forgive me if this thread already exists!So, I've always been extremely self conscious and embarrassed/unhappy with my body. I was the fat kid in school and while I did lose a little weight in recent years, I'm still nowhere near being in shape, unless that shape is round! lol. I've always been curious about the nudist lifestyle but body issues have always kept me from partaking; I don't even feel comfortable taking my shirt off which sadly has kept me away from pool parties and beaches.And if that wasn't enough, my body image issues are quadrupled being that I am a gay man and. have faced a lot of rejection and cruelty because of my body. It's no secret gay men heavily focus on body and looks. There can be some unnecessarily mean guys out there and you don't get accepted in many social circles if you're not a greek god. I know not everyone is like that but it happens more often than not. I've always wanted to join in fun pool parties and go to a nude beach and such but my body issues run pretty deep and prevent me from allowing myself to enjoy a lot because of it; believe it or not it affects many other aspects in my life.I guess I just wanted to open a discussion and hear from other men out there and hear your guys' thoughts on the matter and how those of you who can relate to the situation feel about it and how you guys handle it.Thanks, fellas (and any ladies that feel free to chime in as well!)

I hear you. I started trying to control my weight at about 7 years old, now 58. The seemingly endless torture of dieting and exercise lead to some health and joint issues. And the asses were still asses. The ladies I was interested in, were no different than the guy's you are interested in. And a forced nickname was "Short Round" for awhile.

In the long run you are better off accepting who and what you are. And not caring what others think. Weather you believe in God or Mother nature, you were designed to be what you are. Long ago I decided those that don't like it can go to hell, and I am not afraid to tell them that. Most of them have not gone through what I did, so they should keep their dam big mouth shut. Trust me, life goes on without them in your life.

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Be proud young man. Life is to short to be concerned about your body.

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Like most things in the US, the concept of "acceptable" bodies is becoming polarized between "anything goes" and "Greek god". I see both as unhealthy: the first for lacking discipline and the second for objectification.
Our body "types" regarding our height and stature our not our choice, but our lifestyle is. I see our task as to come out of our body shell and to develop and celebrate the best body we have. For me this means more an attitude than a prescription. Exercise doesn't have to happen in a gym, but can include walking to the grocery store and preparing your own food. A healthy diet doesn't have to focus on drinking special "milkshakes" made with cellulous fibers (sawdust), but can include having a smaller steak for dinner and then a huge bowl of oatmeal with butter and brown sugar for breakfast. Check this book out from your library to change your attitude to food: Michael Pollnan the Omnivore's Dilemma.
In addition to an active lifestyle with walking and biking as "normal" modes of transportation, I recommend exercise focusing on your core strength and posture. Do the kind of exercises like bridges which look simple and can be done at home, but feel humiliating to attempt. As you improve (and you will slowly improve), they will give you a satisfying feeling of masculine pride and control vs. focusing on something like arm strength. There is a core wisdom as well which will guide you in terms of honoring what stretches and nutrition it needs.
As far as body acceptance, celebrate the body you have today knowing that it's always evolving. For me this includes healthy self-pleasuring or masturbation with semen retention practices, but that's another subject. Be aware of your physical shortcomings as well. When I was in my upper 20's I learned I had minor back issues which could lead to surgery without stretching. The bad news was I had to stretch for the rest of my life, but the good news was it started me on a path of self-awareness and slow, slow improvement which has kept me in better shape than most of my peers. They were still the better athletes back in high school, and I'm still more focused on not needing chronic meds (such as for cholesterol) or surgery, and all is well.

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... In the long run you are better off accepting who and what you are. And not caring what others think. Weather you believe in God or Mother nature, you were designed to be what you are. Long ago I decided those that don't like it can go to hell, and I am not afraid to tell them that. Most of them have not gone through what I did, so they should keep their dam big mouth shut. Trust me, life goes on without them in your life.

^^this.

When I stopped caring what people think, I became a lot happier. Do you, and screw what they think. You're not here to make them happy.

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I was a chubby kid, my mother helping shop for clothes that would camouflage my size, and grew up with that image of myself even as it became unrealistic. I didn't get serious about being naked anywhere but mandatory showers or private settings until I was around 19 or 20, when I started being naked with roommates and at swimming holes. But even then, I would not allow myself to be seen with my shirt off, and only under duress in swim trunks. That's a very different thing - the pants in a way put a standard measure to your body, and if your body doesn't wear pants well, it shows. Naked, you are just you, with no ruler or form held next to you. For me, at least, the spiritual and emotional lessons of being socially naked were a step on the way to being comfortable taking my shirt off!

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I would add.

Start checking out the male profiles, you will see many gay men here with our builds. I think maybe you are hanging out with the wrong crowd. I did that because I was worried about my penis size, I found out my size is very common here :-)

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I have been overweight since I was 12. Even at my slimmest, when I was only eating twice daily, my 5'10" self weighed about 200 pounds. Consequently, I have been self-conscious about my body nearly all my life. I was probably the last person anyone would think would be interested in recreational and social nudism.

The very first time I went to a nudist park, I went alone. I wanted to be able to leave as soon as I wanted or stay as long as I wanted. Once past the gate and front desk, I pulled my car around to the pool. I stripped off my clothes. And you know what happened?

Nothing. Not a darn thing.

No one flinched. No one stared. No one recoiled in horror. I was just another person taking in the air and sun.

As I continued to visit the park over the years, I saw all sorts of naked bodies. Kids and grandparents, fit and out of shape, shaven and hairy. Blemishes, wrinkles, and birthmarks galore. Modelesque, "perfect" bodies are not the norm at all. Being among normal, "imperfect" bodies made me feel better and more confident about mine.

I still struggle sometimes. It's difficult to combat decades of negative self-thoughts. It's why I still have trouble taking naked selfies, even in a welcoming community such as this one. But when I'm there, with the nudists--whether it be in the pool or at a party--I couldn't feel more comfortable. I feel less judged out of my clothes than in them.

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All of us have some body image problem of one sort or another. I am reminded of a statement attributed to a young person: "God didn't make no junk"

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