But she's not allowed to use the keyboard to say it herself? Have you seen The handmaids tail?It's interesting that you are so judgemental about the motives of single men in naturism, given that your profile pic is of you suggestively cupping your wife's breast area. Interesting that you dont mind sexualised behaviour as long as it's you doing it, but a man existing on his own must be a pervert.
How have I judged you?
How have you interpreted what Ive typed to indicate I have said anything judgmental regarding you personally?
Please read what you have typed to me and then hold up a mirror.
You and every other single man has their own reasons for being on that beach.That nude beach.I say that nude beach because its as rare to finds a single man on a textile beach as it is to find a single female on a nude one.So as a man , why dont you go to a textile beach alone?
All of this is a straightforward insinuation that any single man on the beach has chosen to be there for reasons different to your own, that is to say you belong in that space and deserve to be there, but as my motivations must be different i dont, questioning my right to be there. You also made assumptions about what i do that were wrong, and repeatedly suggested that the question was about trying to score women which is in itself offensive. If you'd answered the question in good faith, i'd have responded the same way as i did with the other man who chimed in because at least he attempted to contribute and was nice about it. You get what you dish out on the Internet, so if you want nice, start serving it out first.
You and every other single man on that beach is their for their own reasons.
A factual statement.
You are asking about how to approach women.... one reason.
Guys are there to get a tan, another reason.
Guys go because they like to swim naked, yet another reason...
I could go on and on.... everyone will have their own reason for being there.
But you carry on, with what you believe Ive said. It seem its how you want it.
.
Also you edited the first part of the quote to suit your own purpose. You know, the bit where I said we have no prejudice to single guys at the beach. .... just saying.
you and every other single man on that beach is their for their own reasons.A factual statement
A completely redundant one - EVERYBODY goes to the beach for their own reasons, for different reasons. Why specify single men unless you're suggesting something untoward.you are asking about how to approach women.... one reason.
I'm going to say this one last time. I am NOT asking YOU how to approach women, im asking women IF THEY mind being approached and chatted with on beaches, or if they prefer to be left alone.but you carry on, with what you believe Ive said. It seem its how you want it.
What i want is for you not to have commented in the first place - have a think about the unearned confidence you must have to feel it's appropriate to speak on behalf of women. This happens a lot on this site, you can post the most specific thing in the most specific section, and some older man will come wading in with a dismissive patronising attitude and change the subject to something he finds interestingAlso you edited the first part of the quote to suit your own purpose. You know, the bit where I said we have no prejudice to single guys at the beach. .... just saying
You asked me the bits that had caused offence so showed you. Quotes arevalways selective, thats the point of them.
I hope you reflect on how hostile and rude you've been, and i hope you think twice before derailing any other discussions here. It says right at the beginning, lets give women the floor and you thought, nah, let's not. Ask yourself why.
Two comments:
First, I've seen a lot of posts from StevieLorna on other threads, and I'm still wondering if it's Stevie posting, or Lorna posting, or whether the two are in telepathic contact and are speaking through a hive mind. In the interests of clarity, I wish they would identify who's speaking.
Second, this is a question that's popped up on other threads. Me, when I am in a nude situation with strangers, some of whom are women, I understand that nude women tend to get hit on a lot. I understand that there are a lot of single men who have sex on their mind and, if the woman is naked, they assume that she has sex on her mind, too.
These guys kind of piss in the pool for guys like me. When I approach people I don't know in this situation, I try to see them equally, as people, men and women both. I'd just approach them and say, "Hi! I'm John!" and let them respond as they see fit. If they just nod, well, I'll respect that, and leave them to themselves. If they respond with a greeting of their own, I'll try to get to know them a little better. If they stare daggers at me or say, "Get the hell away from me!" well, then, I'll know that I'm speaking with a really damaged person, and I'm not going to put them in a situation where they'll sustain more damage.
Please note that I do this no matter how much or how little clothing we're wearing. I think it's equally unfair for men to think that women are available just because they're both naked, and for women to think that men are just out looking for sex because they're both naked. If they go into situations with expectations like that, they're missing out on the possibility of real friendships, wouldn't you say?
I guess I'm really lucky in that when I was introduced to nudism, there was none of that crap. People were just friendly. No expectations, no prejudice. Of course, we were all younger.
Short answer: be yourself, be patient. It will happen. Eventually. It is well worth the wait, my friend! Obviously this raises a question in the minds of the purist-dictatorial-nudist crowd (Waiting for what? What is his end game? I must have some sort of anti-nudist ulterior motive if I am waiting and waiting to talk to a nude woman on a beach! Haha) Do not want to get into that. I call BS. I read a couple of the posts or whatever in this thread and just skipped down to write this. Blah blah blah a lot of it was. Well that was supposed to be the short answer.
Long(er) answer: speaking as a heterosexual man, I should not have to defend myself for wanting to associate with women, clothed or unclothed. In so-called real nudism, nothing changes - same social dynamics as if we are clothed. Ideally, we do not even notice we are naked. Which leads to the following thought: who cares if we are naked? Which leads to the next thought: can you really truly meet a woman (or whoever) who has this philosophy/mindset - someone this innocent/not jaded/without expectations? The answer is yes! Sure lots of women are jaded/have had bad nude beach experiences/expect to be hit on. But just because a guy wants to socialize with a woman on a nude beach does not mean he is hitting on her. Period. However, she is absolutely entitled to her own opinions/perceptions/boundaries. No one should argue otherwise. In fact, she does not owe anyone an explanation or reason for not wanting to social with a guy on a nude beach. As long as you are laidback and respectful, I see no harm in asking. Anyway, I hope this is making sense. I guess what I am trying to say is that I do not think it is that complicated in real life - it is in online forums like this one where you get all sorts of opinions (no one better or worse than the other) where things get convoluted and lost in translation, as we end up interpreting short interactions and wonder if so and so meant this or that or was implying this or that. I am also trying to say that there really are women out there who see nudism the same way you and I do - Oh we are naked...Ok...so what? Hey we have a friendly vibe...hey this person made me laugh and I think I would like to talk to him or her....Oh we are naked?...I totally forgot because I was busy being the most authentic I have been in months with this person, and I am having the best conversation I have had in months with this person.
So, yeah, it is worth the wait. A big reason why I am drawn to nudism is because, in my own experience, I am drawn to authenticity. I need it. Life is short and I have no time to waste it on people/interactions where they cannot even put down their cell phone for more than sixty seconds, or cannot talk about anything but the weather. I appreciate deep, meaningful conversation, and I have been fortunate enough to find it in nudism. Yup, every now and then, I meet a girl my age solo on the nude beach, and more often than not we become friends - sometimes I never see her again, sometimes we end up going to the nude beach every summer for years, even if one of us is dating someone. Often times, it is just me by myself, totally happy and having a blast. Heres an example...
Earlier this summer I was on my local nude beach by myself, just laying out or whatever it is called. Relaxing, resting, dozing off. There are not a lot of people at my nude beach, and I usually recognize the regulars. In a situation like this, I think your brain/eye naturally picks up on someone you have not seen before - it is easy. Anyway, I happened to sit up and as I looked maybe fifty yards away, I swore I could see the long hair of a woman, sitting on a towel, blowing in the wind. As I said a moment ago, as I am naturally attracted to women, why would I not pay attention to her? I mean, is it expected, proper social etiquette to just ignore her?! Surely that is not nudism! I call BS on that, To me, she was not a naked woman - I, maybe selfishly, was desiring a real, honest, authentic interaction with a woman, and so I figured maybe she would feel the same way. If someone wants to argue that this is the same thing as hitting on (insert quotation marks) a women, fine. I will say only that the basic dynamics of social interaction do not simply go out the window because you are on a nude beach - I mean, you simply cannot and should not ignore the fact that this person is, let us say, a woman (in my example). What, because she is nude, she suddenly cannot be seen as a woman, and a guy who wants to behave as if they are both clothed in a book store drinking coffee, is automatically hitting on her? Pffff I do not buy that. It is her call, her choice, to decide how she spends her time, who she talks to. Anyway, this process usually takes about five or ten seconds! That is all the time you have, my friend! Well, long story short, I got up, walked in her direction in her clear line of sight so she would see me coming closer, but closer to the water, and when I was in front of her I simply waved. A wave is an easy test - an icebreaker - to judge the openness of the other person. Again, you just have to be you, be yourself. She waved back and so I casually (I hope haha) walked up toward her, and probably said something like Hey I am a regular here, my name is so and so...You are the first solo girl I have seen here all summer! (which was true) Well lo and behold, she laughed and seemed receptive. I like to cut to the chase, personally - I asked her if she would mind chatting for a bit and told her it was totally cool if she was there to just relax or whatever by herself. (it was kind of awkward because she was sitting on her towel and I was just standing there in front of her...but who cares? she has breasts and I have a penis...doesnt mean we cant talk!) Surprisingly, she said I should go grab my stuff and just come join her. So I did. One of the best evenings all year. I made an awesome, real, super down to earth friend, while watching an amazing sunset and sharing the Dahl and pita bread she brought. No joke. We continued to meet there many times this summer and we hope to go to a resort next summer. By the way, she is pansexual, polyamorous, and nonmonogamous and I never would have learned about that unless I had been real with her and met her where she is. Such a cool person and such great conversation! The point is that she is an example of a woman who had no expectations and who really saw me and did not judge me - being nude was irrelevant to her.
Well, this has been my opinion based on my own personal experiences (I gave just one real life story). I will not respond to passive-aggressive, my-way-or-the-highway, rude, or judgmental nudists. You seem like you are on the right track, man, keep it up!
Woodsman its definitely the hive mind. Weve been together over 22 years and as naturist for the last 20. We are in the fortunate position to have two holidays a year so we spend a month a year at naturist resorts and beaches and as this is something weve only ever experienced as a couple we pretty much have the same views and opinions.
Lorna has posted on here but not for a long time, she still reads some posts but she definitely was put off with the amount of male genital nonsense. Far from being a Handmaiden (shes recently finished the box set) she is a strong willed and independent woman. Not only does she not need permission to have the keyboard, she has her own and is Admin on another special interest forum (non naturist) and spends a lot of her time there.
We agree with the previous poster in that we can only relate our own experiences as naturist. Lorna says she doesnt know any woman who would go to the nude beach in the hope of meeting Prince Charming, or even just a man with honorable intentions. Thats not what the beach is for.
I dont know what its like in America, but in Europe people dont go to a nude beach to socialise with strangers. You are never guaranteed the folk next to you will even speak the same language. People generally are there to relax and have some quiet time.
Resorts are much more social.
These are our experiences. Its all me and the handmaiden have to go on. We understand what we experience is not how some people think it should be.
Posted by Stevie.... (Lorna agrees but told me not to bother)
StevieLorna wrote:Woodsman its definitely the hive mind. Weve been together over 22 years and as naturist for the last 20. We are in the fortunate position to have two holidays a year so we spend a month a year at naturist resorts and beaches and as this is something weve only ever experienced as a couple we pretty much have the same views and opinions.
Thanks for clearing that up!We agree with the previous poster in that we can only relate our own experiences as naturist. Lorna says she doesnt know any woman who would go to the nude beach in the hope of meeting Prince Charming, or even just a man with honorable intentions. Thats not what the beach is for.I dont know what its like in America, but in Europe people dont go to a nude beach to socialise with strangers. You are never guaranteed the folk next to you will even speak the same language. People generally are there to relax and have some quiet time.
Another case of "same language, different world." I agree that I haven't met any women who went to a nude beach specifically to find a Prince Charming. But I've met a few women who went to a nude beach to find people of like mind about the joys of nudism. The came to the beach to swim, get a tan, and maybe try to network with other nudists in the area. Maybe that's because there aren't as many nudist clubs per se as there are in Europe.
As a rule, Americans don't seem to have the "walls of privacy" that many Europeans have. Maybe that's another aspect of how society is structured here, with people moving around a lot and forced to be with strangers more often than not. So they tend to be a little more forthcoming about meeting strangers. (I think that Leonard Wibberly wrote something about that. He said that in England, you could move to a village and still be considered a stranger thirty years later, whereas in Ireland a Hottentot can become an Irishman in a week and a half.)
I guess we have our share of perverts, too. But outside of the established resorts, a single man isn't necessarily tagged as one the moment he shows up.
I have made arrangements to meet my female friends on the beach only to find them surrounded by idiot males who surround them and stare. This obviously intimidates women and so I only accompany them to the beach and prevent the idiots from being stupid.
You will most likely not find any single women on the beach unless you go and become a known presence who demonstrates that he is not a pervert or fool. I know several guys who have found their nudist partners on the beach but this takes a great deal of time and the guys were known nice guys who met nice women.
You will be much better off meeting women in the textile world and then after they get to know you then you can invite them to the nudist beach BUT do not insist that they get naked immediately AND ask them if you can get naked in their presence. Do NOT push and you may eventually make a good friend who will accompany you to the beach.
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