Hate the Feeling

I don't just hate clothing, but I can't wear them because of how they make me feel.

Okay, I can wear them, just not for long and not without feeling extremely uncomfortable and anxious the entire time.

I grew up thinking that I'd eventually get used to the feeling. It was something everyone had to go through, right? Like a right of passage?

I'll never forget attending my first socially nude event and being able to talk to people normally. No feelings of being stuck with pins. No crawling sensation of hems or seams on my arms, legs, or torso. I could actually focus on what people were staying instead of dividing my attention between them and clothing. I also didn't have to worry about them either judging me for what I was wearing or how I held myself in clothing.

I could sit still too! I was routinely called out by teachers for my constant fidgeting and shifting. It made me self conscious that everyone was staring at me. Forcing myself to sit still while dressed is agony.

Nowadays, I plan my life around when I have to be dressed and try to consolidate it as much as possible. Thanks to the pandemic and working from home, I only need to get dressed to get groceries or run the odd errand.

Back when social gatherings were a thing, I'd based my social life on if I could be nude or not.

Does anyone else feel this way or have that reaction?

Thank you for reading my story.

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