I'll never buy another Dell product again. Ever.

I hate Dell.
I hate Dell like I hate fire ants and ticks, except that if God came down to Earth and told me I could rid the world of one thing, that one thing would be Dell. Their products have turned to shit, and their customer service department is being run by encephalitic monkeys. Let me 'splain...
Liz wanted a new laptop. She sold her old one, and ordered a refurb from Satan - I mean Dell. After a few days, she checked her email for a confirmation and hadn't received one, so she called them to ask about it's status. She was told that her order had been cancelled - that someone else had beat her order out by a few seconds, and they were getting her laptop. No worries - she just went online and ordered another. Imagine her surprise when the laptop that had been sent to someone else magically showed up in our driveway!
Jump a couple days - this laptop was a piece of crap. It wouldn't even start up right, much less run right. She spent six hours over two days with Dell Customer Service and Tech Support before they agreed to let her send it back. Guess what? When she talked to the Returns Department, they told her they had no record of her Tech Support attempts, and so if she wanted to send it back, she would have to pay a 15% restocking fee. Either that, or face another fruitless six hours with Tech Support.
That was strike one.
It gets worse...
One of her "must have's" for her laptop was that it must be Bluetooth-compatible. No real reason - she just likes the way her Bluetooth phone syncs with her car, and one of her friends told her she absolutely had to have it. So, her laptop had a Bluetooth in it. She also wanted a printer that was just hers, and hers alone. I tried to talk her into getting a wifi printer, but she decided that she wanted a Bluetooth printer, and I had no real problem with it. So I called Dell. I explained that I wanted Bluetooth-capable printer, and ONLY a Bluetooth-capable printer. I explained what Liz wanted and why. The sales-lady told me that a model V-305w would fit her needs perfectly. She said that it would come with a Bluetooth plug-in but that they would come in separate packages. I said, "Send it!"
The Bluetooth plug came first, and the printer came a couple days later. When it did, I opened both packages eagerly. I found no place to actually plug the key in. So I called tech support. This beyotch looked up my service tag, and said, "Well, sir, first of all, you didn't order the 305w (for wireless) printer, you ordered just the model 305. The 305 model does not have a wireless option." I explained my whole dilemma to her, asking her why on Earth I would order a Bluetooth key for a non-Bluetooth-capable printer. It took me three hours to convince her that they had shipped the wrong devices, and to agree that I should be allowed to ship them back. I still don't know if they're going to charge me the restocking fee for this, even though she told me they weren't.
That was strike two.
Third strike came when her second laptop came - the one she had ordered because she had been told the first order had been cancelled. She fired it up, and it didn't work right. Power supply problems, software that wouldn't open, when the computer was on it would either freeze up or shut down unexpectedly. Another six or so hours with tech support failed to resolve these issues. Not only that, but tech support actually hung up on us twice during the process. In the end, we had to call customer service back. This time, Liz had the confirmation number from tech support. Not surprisingly, customer service had no record of the tech support oddyssey we had just gone through.
I have to admit, to my chagrin, that I nearly lost control of my temper. Not only did this bitch deny that we had ever talked to tech support, but she denied at least a dozen requests to speak to a supervisor. She claimed that there was no supervisor available to speak to, and that even if there was a supervisor there, he could give us no answer other than what she gave us. I was livid. I was so angry that Liz had to take the phone from me. She had to agree to pay that fucking 15%, just to get the customer service bitch to agree to send a return label out.
That was strike three.
At this point, unless Dell makes some move to make this right, I'll never buy another Dell product as long as I breathe. Not only that, but I'm going to post this story on as many forums as I can, and send hard copies to as many Dell physical addresses as I can find. I have no respect for Dell's products, or their leadership. It's obvious that they have lost sight of the fact that customer satisfaction is as important to their profit margin as producing good products. Not only that, but I think I've been permanently banned from their customer service system - we needed to get the return authorization number, but when I called to get it, they hung up on me three times. When Liz called, they spoke to her.
Fuck 'em. Unless they make this right, I'll never buy another Dell product. Ever.

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