My Story...

Hi All. I just joined this group and thought Id share my story about penis size and body image and my journey on overcoming my fears. Its long, so thanks in advance for reading it.

I think my issues started in high school when we were required to take showers after gym class. After seeing other males nude for the first time, I started realizing my penis was far smaller than theirs. I was a very shy kid and overweight. And my parents we not the type of people that talked about sex or anything related. So, I didnt really have anyone to tell me that even though my penis was smaller, it was completely normal.

Because of that, I developed a fear of being naked in front of anyone thinking that my penis was very abnormal. I was afraid if anyone saw it, I would be made fun of and ridiculed. I was so terrified of being exposed, Im pretty sure it was very close to being a phobia. I was also very self-conscience about my body in general. I would never take my shirt off when swimming and wouldnt wear shorts in warm weather except when in the pool.

This went on until I was in my mid 40s. Up until then, no one except my wife (not even any doctors) saw me naked. And even though she would tell me there was nothing wrong with my penis or body in general. I still had the crippling fear to be naked in front of anyone else.

In my early 40s, I started having some sexual issues that didnt go away. It was really frustrating for both my wife and I because I was too scared to go and talk with my doctor about it because I knew it would result in a physical exam. Just the thought of that terrified me because I just knew my penis was abnormal and I was too scared to be exposed even to my doctor.

We suffered through my issue for a couple of years. And finally, I decided enough was enough and made an appointment with a urologist to address my issue. It was then that I decided that I wanted to overcome the fear I had and learn to accept myself as I am and to be comfortable nude in front of others.

I went to my appointment, discussed my issued with my doctor and got my first physical exam of my genitals. And my very first exposure to anyone except my wife. I was a nervous wreck. My doctor never mentioned anything about anything being wrong or abnormal with my penis. After the exam, it was like a weight was lifted off my chest.

That same day, I had my first massage. I debated on whether not to do the massage fully nude or leave clothes on. But I decided last minute just to go for it and go nude. I was also very nervous about it, but the massage therapist was great, and it was a wonderful experience. And to this day, I get monthly massages. And now I couldnt imagine having a massage with any clothes on.

From then until now, Ive been working to become more accepting of my own body, small penis and all. And to learn to be more comfortable naked in front of others. I started sleeping nude. And started stripping down in the locker room at the gym instead of wearing clothes to the shower. This was really my first experience with being naked in front of others in a non-medical environment. I also had a vasectomy and gotten multiple Brazilian waxes.

All of that lead up to me wanting to try social nudity. I thought that being completely exposed, with everything put out there would really boost my self-confidence and further reinforce to myself that even though my penis is smaller and Ive got lumps and bumps and scars, that Im still completely normal. So, in June of 2020, I went to Drakes Ridge in Indiana and had my first experience. I must say, I was pretty nervous going there. But once I got there and got my clothes off, it was a very amazing experience. Ive been there a total of four times I think and every time I go back, it just gives me that much more confidence in myself and improves my self-image.

To be able to sit naked next to people, especially a woman, who is also naked and have a nice conversation and not be worried about what I look like or how small my penis is, has been a very positive experience for me.

Now I cant wait to get back to being nude. And am somewhat impatiently awaiting warm weather so I can experience it further.

I took a picture of myself during my first visit at Drakes Ridge and Ive attached it to the post.

I hope this might help anyone else who might be going through the same issues that Ive had.

Thanks for reading.

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