When "reluctant wives/SO" turn nudist.
It's an old topic I like to revisit from time to time.
Many of us with "initially reluctant wives/SO" have stories about how they came to embrace nudism.
In some cases it's pretty instantaneous; as the moment they arrived on the beach or at the resort they immediately embraced social nudity.
In other cases it was more a "When in Rome" moment when they found themselves in the midst of nude people and eventually decided they "might as well be naked too."
Sometimes it's through personal rapport, where the spouse establishes a friendship/connection with other nudists; and them being comfortable nude around her motivates her to be nude around them.
And every so often it's because there is a woman/several nearby who is/are confidently naked; and she decides that "if she/they can do it, so can I."
Which is the most common path?
For my wife, Di, it was through both "When in Rome" and personal rapport.
And I think this is the more "typical" path.
My "evidence" might be anecdotal; but it also the result of 20-some odd years of nudism.
Most (and I'm going to generalize a bit so bare with me; as I do realize there are different individual circumstances) reluctant women who try social nudity have at the very least the notion and expectation that there will be naked people at the chosen venue. They usually have some preconceived notion about how they will feel about it; but the reality of it often (and hopefully) turns out to be different - as they often expect some level of intrusiveness or obtrusiveness. When they realize nudists are most often just naked people "going about their business", a curiosity about it will develop. On our first nudist resort trip, my wife kept looking inside the pool area from our picnic table outside; as she became curious about how "all these naked people were going about (swimming, tanning, socializing) completely naked around each other, yet looking happy and relaxed." She was mystified by it.
The "When in Rome" mind-switch typically takes place subsequently. Oftentimes it is motivated by the desire to "fit in." My wife didn't want to be the "only woman around totally covered-up"; so in the pool area she decided to drop the towel she was wrapping herself with when she realized none of the other women were covering up. Her desire to fit in eclipsed her reluctance being seen naked. Likewise, a good friend of mine shared that she was staying (dressed) in a bungalow at a resort; and when she saw that everyone outside her bungalow was nude, she felt compelled to just get naked too before going for a walk.
Personal rapport might not happen for non-social nudists; but it is a common factor and works very well in conjunction with the "When in Rome" mindset. My first wife was befriended by Cheri and Ali from Travelites; and their example and friendship was instrumental in getting my wife comfortable with social nudity. My wife had been nude at the resort but not socially. Being around these women - who were totally comfortable interacting with her nude - motivated my wife to drop her sarong and be naked with them; and later everyone else. The same wife once befriended a "reluctant and scared" wife; who would later decide to get naked to hang out with her.
Once the "When in Rome" switch happens; well it lasting is about time, repetition and opportunity. A lot of women "switch back" if nudism is not continuously practiced. For my wife it's no longer "When in Rome" but rather "I'm a Roman." Because she knows she's going to be naked and is confident about it, she no longer needs any kind of "motivation" to get naked.
Anyway that's my personal "anecdotal evidence"; and it'll be interesting to see if other differ/agree.
My wife doesn't want to go to a clothing optional beach or resort. Any stories of how to get someone to be willing to go?
I know I keep recommending the same thing, but it really is a good resource. That Famous Fig Leaf. Buy it, read it yourself, and either give it to her to read or just leave it out where she can find it.
"Personality types" often do play a part in social nudist development.
My wife is an extrovert "chatterbox" type. She will start a conversation with pretty much anyone anywhere. So her "When in Rome" moment and close nudist interaction happened pretty much simultaneously. Like the moment she dropped her towel in the pool area, she started a conversation with the couple sitting next to us. Which in turn increased her confidence being naked around people rather rapidly.
An introvert/shy type might find nudist interaction more challenging; and not necessarily because of the nudity per se.
I don't think personality types will have a substantial effect on embracing nudism. It might just make it a bit slower.
Even though my Luann or possibly your own wife is your enigma if they take a minute to slide into things so be it. It does not mean for someone like me who is wired to figure out and understand everything. That's always has been a real help to edge me beyond my competitors in my job but not necessarily an asset in personal life. I'm always self coaching myself to shut my pie hole at home.
I could go on and on what makes me think what the heck ? We just went through this when she hosted a home get together a week ago when friends came in and suddenly she puts clothes to greet them only to take them off shortly after. They have only seen her naked 1000 times already? Things need to make sense to me and sometimes I can not stop asking myself ehhh?
We just bought a little vintage camper and took it to Cypress Cove. My wife who is not a nudist had a few days off between jobs and decided to she would join me for a coupe of days. She did not go nude but saw how much I really enjoyed being there and how at ease I was . She has no intention of going nude but will join me from time time to time. It also helps that my son lives in Orlando 45 minutes away from there so she can always visit him.
I was at Cypress Cove Nudist Resort a few years ago and a guy had brought his new girlfriend (who was not a nudist) with out telling her about the nudism. They arrived late at night so she didn't see anyone nude. The next day she was really in shock and she ended up leaving and flying home. Not the way to go about it.
I've seen this happen only once; when I was a member of Travelites with my first wife. A couple arrived; and it quickly became obvious - from the wife's reaction when entering the backyard where everyone was nude - that the husband had not been entirely transparent as to where he was actually taking her.
I guess the idea for those guys is that rather than "do the work", they're just going to gamble on the "When in Rome effect" taking place; figuring that once their spouse realizes where she's at, she'll eventually accept the situation - and possibly even want to "fit in" and thus participate. But it's actually a form of entrapment; and very ill-advised.
The situation with the couple at Travelites wasn't a complete fiasco though, primarily due to my wife who read the situation immediately. Andy mentioned "personal rapport" as a factor for women embracing social nudity; and in this case my wife provided the personal rapport by deciding to approach the "distressed" wife and extend her friendship. Because the woman was able to share her feelings and distress, and my wife able to reassure her: she started relaxing, having fun socializing with my wife, and becoming more comfortable with the nudity. And eventually the idea of joining my wife in nude socialization. But although she did end up going nude with my wife, I don't think it had been quite enough to undo the damage cause by her husband's breach of trust. Before they left she said something along the lines of "I hope you're happy now: I got naked..." Which clearly indicated underlying resentment. We never saw them again.
The "sad" thing: if the husband had told his wife where they were going and what to expect, she still would have met my wife and ended up going nude. So it was a completely wasted opportunity for them to become a nudist couple.
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