Nude river float turns mandatory.

Two days ago my wife and I floated down the White River in NW Arkansas in tubes. I stripped down upon entry, my wife stayed clothed. The entire three hour float was along uninhabited banks of trees and we saw no homes or people. I had my shorts inside the tube which has a mesh seat. My shirt was back in the car where we put in.
At one point we failed to clear a fallen tree and got entangled in the branches. I hopped out of my tube to pull us both back into the current. The river was much deeper than expected and I went under, losing my hat and drink and capsizing my tube. I collected the floating items and swan the two tubes to safety having to make it to shallow water to get back in my tube.
About ten minutes further downstream. I felt around for my shorts (which I'd been more or less sitting on) and they were gone! A casualty of the capsizing. I was now completely nude with out a way to cover up - in Arkansas where this is illegal. Surrendering to the situation we continued the float. We pulled out at a spot I know with deep thick mud after rains and I submerged my body in mud. Hauling myself out I joked that I was legal as long as I didn't wash. A swim returned me to instant glorious nudity and we floated for another hour. The other places I was visible were two bridges with car traffic we floated under. The second was our take-out spot where we had parked the second car. It was mostly out of sight as I clambered up the bank and across a small field to enter the car. The two homeowners with houses in sight would have had to be looking out at the right time. I then drove my wife to our other car - the place had become crowded with fishermen so she got out to drive that car home. I drove about 20 minutes on busy streets to reach home. Anyone next to me in a taller profile vehicle had a clear view of a naked driver. When I got home I realized I was in the car we park outside so I just got out and walked up the drive into our garage. Our neighborhood is quiet and sleepy and I don't think anyone saw.
I figured losing my pants in a "near-drowning" was a great excuse. I didn't plan to mention that they were not on me when they abandoned ship.
A really fun adventure. Avoided arrest, poison ivy rash, sunburn (thanks, SPF30) and drowning in a rain swollen river.

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