what is bromance for you ...
In the same way that a healthy romance (or any relationship for that matter) depends on being a trustworthy friend that allows the other person to safely let down their guard, a bromance is an other-centered focus without ulterior motive. The more that the other person can exhale--the more they feel assured that their vulnerability will be stewarded well--and, ideally, the more that that is reciprocated--the more a bond grows. I deeply value the handful of friends in front of whom I can literally and metaphorically be naked. Think about this: If you grab any man by the bicep, he will flex. It's instinctive--a defensive response to not let yourself be seen as 'weak.' You know that you are gaining trust when a person does not do that. Or when a friend doesn't feel the need to hold in his stomach or whatever. Bromance is that rare, beautiful space of accepting and being accepted. It's genuinely the adult version of early childhood friendships where you shared life without question or pretense. It is a reclaiming of that full-openness without any insecurity.
thank you for your participation and your thoughts ... but you only described to me what bromance is for you ... I would also like to know how you live it ... I would like it not to remain an abstract but more concrete discourse
To me it's just about being close friends and being able to share things that you couldn't tell or do with others. It's someone you can share secrets with or do things together and knowing that they won't think any different of you.
For me, its twofold... oneside is like others have stated. Having a space to completely relax into your 100% true self. Not that you are arent genuine in other situations, but here... there is an emotional connection that allows for you to be you and accepted for that.
The otherside, at least for me, is seeking opportunities to do that for others. Many males have NEVER known what it is like to be truly accepted. This includes by spouses too. Its not a sad thing but just is. Everyone seems to have a picture of the person they want you to be. I try to create spaces where i encourage some friends to explore more of themselves. I already prefer a few close friends than a lot of casual ones so its a bit easier for me. However i can feel the reluctance to talk about 'the real' shit sometimes. I never push and some have really opened up... some havent.
Either way. I believe my sincerity allows for them to grow and just talk about life, love, desires, and often emotion that we just dont do enough of.
I even feel that the emotion can manifest itself a ton of ways and thats cool too. My life has become infinitely happier in the last few years because of this.
For me, its twofold... oneside is like others have stated. Having a space to completely relax into your 100% true self. Not that you are arent genuine in other situations, but here... there is an emotional connection that allows for you to be you and accepted for that.The otherside, at least for me, is seeking opportunities to do that for others. Many males have NEVER known what it is like to be truly accepted. This includes by spouses too. Its not a sad thing but just is. Everyone seems to have a picture of the person they want you to be. I try to create spaces where i encourage some friends to explore more of themselves. I already prefer a few close friends than a lot of casual ones so its a bit easier for me. However i can feel the reluctance to talk about 'the real' shit sometimes. I never push and some have really opened up... some havent.Either way. I believe my sincerity allows for them to grow and just talk about life, love, desires, and often emotion that we just dont do enough of.I even feel that the emotion can manifest itself a ton of ways and thats cool too. My life has become infinitely happier in the last few years because of this.
thank you for the answer ... but how do you show your bromance?
To me it's just about being close friends and being able to share things that you couldn't tell or do with others. It's someone you can share secrets with or do things together and knowing that they won't think any different of you.
thanks for your answer ... but I always tie answers in half ... you tell me to do and say certain things ... like which ones?
I'm not sure if you can put it into words but it's like having a childhood friend, or friend from HS, that you can be yourself and they don't judge you. But now at a adult level that you 'know' within you that feeling of acceptance and comfort that only 'this guy' can give. You can sit together, side by side or across the room, and just take a look at each other and you know within you that he understands you and you understand him. There are no rules or boundaries that need to be spoken, granted with some you may do some limits at first but as the friendship goes on with time, those limits change.
They are different than those relationships you have with females in the aspects that there is chemistry in every relationship and that chemistry between guys is totally different. Does it more into more deeper and even sexual experience, that's hard to say but as the relationship developes there is different stages. Sexual does and will always enhance the relationship but it will change the level and in some cases send the relationship backwards. It's all about how each one views the relationship, so to say there is one thing or several things, it's hard to say. It may be just a text to say "hi" or some silly weird face text, a talk just to say 'I'm thinking about you'. When you are together, besides sharing time around each other, a hug from behind, especially if nude, or taken a weekend trip somewhere and getting lost in 'our world', you just feel whole and content.
But it is when both individuals accept each other for who each are without any judgement and enjoy the times you are together. Those are the special guys that you will have a 'bromance'.
In the same way that a healthy romance (or any relationship for that matter) depends on being a trustworthy friend that allows the other person to safely let down their guard, a bromance is an other-centered focus without ulterior motive. The more that the other person can exhale--the more they feel assured that their vulnerability will be stewarded well--and, ideally, the more that that is reciprocated--the more a bond grows. I deeply value the handful of friends in front of whom I can literally and metaphorically be naked. Think about this: If you grab any man by the bicep, he will flex. It's instinctive--a defensive response to not let yourself be seen as 'weak.' You know that you are gaining trust when a person does not do that. Or when a friend doesn't feel the need to hold in his stomach or whatever. Bromance is that rare, beautiful space of accepting and being accepted. It's genuinely the adult version of early childhood friendships where you shared life without question or pretense. It is a reclaiming of that full-openness without any insecurity.
Very well said!
I'm not sure if you can put it into words but it's like having a childhood friend, or friend from HS, that you can be yourself and they don't judge you. But now at a adult level that you 'know' within you that feeling of acceptance and comfort that only 'this guy' can give. You can sit together, side by side or across the room, and just take a look at each other and you know within you that he understands you and you understand him. There are no rules or boundaries that need to be spoken, granted with some you may do some limits at first but as the friendship goes on with time, those limits change.They are different than those relationships you have with females in the aspects that there is chemistry in every relationship and that chemistry between guys is totally different. Does it more into more deeper and even sexual experience, that's hard to say but as the relationship developes there is different stages. Sexual does and will always enhance the relationship but it will change the level and in some cases send the relationship backwards. It's all about how each one views the relationship, so to say there is one thing or several things, it's hard to say. It may be just a text to say "hi" or some silly weird face text, a talk just to say 'I'm thinking about you'. When you are together, besides sharing time around each other, a hug from behind, especially if nude, or taken a weekend trip somewhere and getting lost in 'our world', you just feel whole and content.But it is when both individuals accept each other for who each are without any judgement and enjoy the times you are together. Those are the special guys that you will have a 'bromance'.
thank you for your contribution ... I hope I understand what you mean .. that each Bromance is different and the same can be evolving ... from a mutual understanding it can lead to sex but without there being a relationship .... did you mean this?
In the same way that a healthy romance (or any relationship for that matter) depends on being a trustworthy friend that allows the other person to safely let down their guard, a bromance is an other-centered focus without ulterior motive. The more that the other person can exhale--the more they feel assured that their vulnerability will be stewarded well--and, ideally, the more that that is reciprocated--the more a bond grows. I deeply value the handful of friends in front of whom I can literally and metaphorically be naked. Think about this: If you grab any man by the bicep, he will flex. It's instinctive--a defensive response to not let yourself be seen as 'weak.' You know that you are gaining trust when a person does not do that. Or when a friend doesn't feel the need to hold in his stomach or whatever. Bromance is that rare, beautiful space of accepting and being accepted. It's genuinely the adult version of early childhood friendships where you shared life without question or pretense. It is a reclaiming of that full-openness without any insecurity.Very well said!
tell me more ... why well said?
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