Being seen / recognized
Hello!
New here and new to naturism. I have attended a couple events in my hometown and I am finding so much freedom in just being my nakedest self and not having to cover myself up.
I have a nagging anxiety that I am noticing, which is why Im posting here to get some feedback. I made my way to this community after accidentally finding my boss on this website. I never shared with them that I know they are a nudist and I dont plan to after learning about the rules of respect for anonymity and others privacy.
My anxiety is less about having found my boss (though thats there too), but more about whether it means I will likely be found out.
I guess Im wondering:
1. Can I expect that I will have colleagues and other people from my life find out that I am a nudist?
2. Will I get to a point where I dont care about being found out? Will the idea that a textile that I know sees me nude eventually not phase me?
3. Is it possible that my boss is comfortable with who he is and would not be phased if I shared that I found him and that I, too, am exploring?
The etiquette is new territory and both seems intuitive but also not?
A point about the boss, who has a profile on this website. My own profile is quite open about who I am, and I don't put things up that I would be embarrassed about if they were seen by people I know. It has happened that I've seen people on here I didn't know were official nudists - and they, of course, have seen me. At that point it's more or less like seeing someone you know at a resort; it's perfectly OK for one or the other of you to say hi; there's no reason to pretend the other person is not there.
Right now the power differential between you and your boss is not the only asymmetry. Your profile is fairly anonymous; boss's is apparently not. If you were to put up enough info, and a face pic, to make clear you're not trying to hide your identity, then it will feel more natural to acknowledge one anothers' presence. YOU DO NOT HAVE TO PUT UP NUDE PHOTOS TO PARTICIPATE ON THIS SITE, and that's not what I mean to suggest. Granted, for a lot of people it's all about the pics, but don't let people press you on that one.
I believe the fear that many nudists have of being discovered is entirely irrational. Although a few people probably have been ostracized because to their nudism, I suspect the number is microscopic. You would be better to worry about being struck by lightning. Have you ever actually known of a case where it has happened, I didn't think so. This is not an issue that many people care about. Stop worrying, go out and enjoy yourself.
@steveinkona
I appreciate this reply and for recognizing the power dynamics that youve noted!
I also appreciate the note on posting photos vs not. At this time, I feel more comfortable with in person events because then at least I know who he seem me. TN helps me find friends and gatherings :)
60 yr old male here. As for what others will think: the sooner we all learn that " others" don't think as much about our lives one way or the other as we give them credit for doing the better off our mental health will be. As for myself I have been very open since my 30s that I enjoy going bare. Bosses and coworkers, friends, even fellow church members have known for years and never condemned me. We are doing nothing wrong and should not be ashamed or apologize for wanting to go bare when we can.
I think it may be best to wait and see if you happen to meet somewhere, unless the topic comes up and you feel comfortable mentioning your involvement. The minefield of boss/subordinate and male/female relationships probably leave you uncomfortable to raise the topic dirctly and he might feel the same in a reverse situation. If he mentions it in a general context in a group, perhaps then you could bring it up with him at an opportunity you feel comfortable with.
I think there are two parts to the answer.
The easy one. Anyone who recognises you at nude events will be there because they are a nudist too. So there is no reason to worry. Take it as a positive opportunity to expand your naturist friends.
On the online bit then I think you have to acknowledge that far from everyone on this site is here because they are genuine naturists. Although few are probably out to cause trouble for other people, just on here for their own kicks. So if being recognised on here worries you then keep your profile pretty anonymous, give details but nothing that really identifies you. If you post photos limit access to certified friends. Only accept friend requests from people you have exchanged messages with and yiu are confident in. In other words sensible social media behaviour.
I believe your anxiety is completely rational and normal. IMHO this means around 66% of us felt this way when starting out.
Anxiety can be escalated by some environmental factor such as:
Legality in your location (nb its illegal where I live)
Fear of losing employment (seems to have happened to me); and
Other cultural 'norms' (for example my parents believe that nudists are crazies - which is ironic because it was this attitude by my parents that spiked my curiosity).
Once the 'brave pills' have been taken a few times (eg on a legal beach) you will tend to be more relaxed in other environs and locations. In fact it will go the other way - you will try and maximise your nude time.
Enjoy your new found freedom!
Being recognized at a nudist place has its ups and downs (leaving that pun alone) but for the most part it is positive. My gf and I live at a resort all about nudism and have gotten quite used to it in the last few years. I met her there and we fell in love in the next few months. But before we'd met I ran into someone from high school out of nowhere and ours ended up becoming a much closer friendship for the meeting.
The legal side does come into play depending on your work circumstances. For instance, if you have military or governmental clearance and your nudism could be used to blackmail you into doing something illegal, that could cost you a lot more than a job - it could incarcerate you! Many of the members at our resort are either active or retired military and I've never run into anyone talking about getting into a bind having to do with their career.
If he finds out about your knowledge of his nudism - and with his openness on the subject apparent with his picture posting - your boss will likely be excited that you've begun to explore nudism and it may bring you closer together. To ensure it doesn't impact your connections at work and to be extra careful, keeping it secret would be best, albeit not from his wife/significant other. In time you will more than likely want to share with others about your freedom from clothes, or the word may get out in some innocuous way that you are a nudist. Your bareness becoming a subject around the coffee pot at work could be bad, but if you trust your boss he will trust you, depending on how well you know him. Know that most nudists are very respectful of people's privacy and their personal preferences at to attire when not at work. That isn't to say that human nature doesn't come in to play. Gossips and rumor-spreaders are everywhere. Nudists understand anonymity and most don't ever use last names unless there are good reasons to do so. Nicknames are the way at a resort when there are a lot of people with the same first name.
So don't be surprised when you become comfortable and begin to share your naked tendencies with other people in your life. Most will not want to jump in with both feet and start taking off their clothes with you as soon as they can. Only a small percentage of humans are able to relax about themselves and their preconceptions enough to let it all hang out immediately, and another small percentage may come along in time. Some will never EVER do it, and be wary of the ones who tell you, "Maybe after I lose a few pounds." They have yet to understand that those pounds are what makes being a naturist/nudist interesting. We're all different and we're all beautiful just the way we are!
I consider your issue similar to living in a small town as your boss. There's a power differential which might cause you to feel vulnerable. If you attended church with your boss would you feel comfortable openly sharing some of your tough life/faith questions or would you just put on some air of piety and perfection? Would you choose to socialize with your boss in a private setting/group or is it best to keep a respectful distance? The good news is that questions regarding nudism come second. Good luck.
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