20 minutes of PM exchanges to try and reason with someone being unreasonable is far and away beyond my own personal capabilities. And that's meant only as a compliment. You're infinitly more patient than am I.
I might add that I was not being unreasonable but merely questioning one aspect of a rule - specifcally as it relates to someone on cam showing neither face, nor genitals. But I guess it is more convenient for the above mob to villify - and as I suggested earlier - alienate - rather than respect that it is not socially unacceptable to ask questions. This was not a "20 minute argument" - but took place over a 20 minute time frame (there is a big difference). Jen, you may also recall that I added that the site owner had not been responsive to my inquiries. I ask any of you, but in particlualr DanandJanette, how was that being "unreasonable"? That I would dare question the mod? Are you kidding?
20 minutes of PM exchanges to try and reason with someone being unreasonable is far and away beyond my own personal capabilities. And that's meant only as a compliment. You're infinitly more patient than am I.
I might add that I was not being unreasonable but merely questioning one aspect of a rule - specifcally as it relates to someone on cam showing neither face, nor genitals. But I guess it is more convenient for the above mob to villify - and as I suggested earlier - alienate - rather than respect that it is not socially unacceptable to ask questions. This was not a "20 minute argument" - but took place over a 20 minute time frame (there is a big difference). Jen, you may also recall that I added that the site owner had not been responsive to my inquiries. I ask any of you, but in particlualr DanandJanette, how was that being "unreasonable"? That I would dare question the mod? Are you kidding?
You asked her a question, she replied. Whether it was a 20 minute argument or 20 minute time frame (yes, I know the difference), I think her communitive skills are such that it would'nt take a protracted back and forth to get her point across. It sounds as like a simple case of you didn't like the answer and continued to argue. Look, it's an internet chatroom for god's sake, you're not negotiating your mortgage. Don't sweat the small stuff.
Whether I have paid or not is not the issue as to wherher I am a customer or not. I do come here and the site does serve as you say.. even those of us who have not yet paid. As with each site they are all here trying to provide a service and of course try and make some sort of profit for the site owner otherwise why spend his time and effort. it's alot of work to do one of these and I'm sure the owner has paid his dues. Your reply is a prime example of what I mean. I am sure you are a great person and I am sure you also spend a lot of time and effort doing what you think is best for the site. But to insult a person who does come here sort of made my point for me.
I realize it is in your best interest to throw off the comments and considerations of the many people who feel they have made a valid complaint. I think I have made my point and this OP was not the first to complain.. I don't think I need 20 minutes of your time since most here in the clique seem to be happy. I'll just stay out of chat and not respond anymore to these kinds of postings as my point was made.
And.. let me thank you for your time in making the site a better place as I do agree the moderators are necessary for some people do not know how to act.
Thank you Danandjanette, I would love to be able to meet you too. Your posting here have earned my respect also. I have known the Snugglebunnies for almost three years now, they are definately on my list of people I would love to meet in person.
Why are you afraid of showing your face, Peacemale?
Mmmm...not really a big deal. Many play it safe (and smart) by not posting pictures of themselves on the internet, that show up on ggolge searches, can be copied, once posted - any whereon the net -are there for as long as the net exists. I, personally, don't begrudge any one their right to chose not to post a face pic or be seen on a web cam. Snap shots can be taken from a web cam and web cams can be recorded as well. When it comes right down to it, this is just a website...and to some, not worth risking an invasion of their privacy.
We've learned the very hard way. While we do post pictures, no face pics are available to any one other than those on our friend's list and even the majority of those are blurred.
Jen
Why are you afraid of showing your face, Peacemale?
In response to internet risks to children, my kids' school held an eye-opening forum on the topic. I dont know how much you know about it, but there is something called face-recognition software out there that can compromise you in many ways than one - nude or not. So I choose to be sensible about sensitive material.
PeteyB says:I just wonder why you felt the need to argue with the guy for 20 minutes?. A person acts as you say he was acting there is no need to even respond to after the warning . I personally would have ignored the nonsense after the warning and see what his reaction would have been.. If he was still offensive after the warning then a swift boot without any explanation further. He knew why you booted him. Why allow that to continue for 20 minutes? I think you are part of what kept him going for 20 minutes. The behavior he displayed.. if it was as you say was that of a child. There is no benefit to arguing with a child for 20 minutes as to the discipline you gave. This is a prime example of the need for training of the moderators here. For a moderator to argue with a customer to the site for 20 minutes seems to be the kind of reaction I am talking about the moderators display here. Like there is a need to autonomous rule and you WILL obey or pay the consequences. If someone came into your retail store would you stand there and argue with them for 20 minutes?.
Snugglebunnys Response:Petey, unless it's a serious violation (sexual activity on cam, harassment, threats) all the mods try to answer all questions as patiently as possible. Often times (as was the case that day) we are dealing with multiple pm's dealing with various issues - from answering questions about how the chat room works, giving technical advice, fielding complaints about other members, asking people to comply with chat rules, issuing warnings, etc. Along with this we are keeping an eye on the room chat flow, checking cams and bouncing between two rooms. How could it go on for 20 minutes? Easy, his pm was not the only one I was dealing with. Why didn't I just boot him to begin with? Because, unless there is a serious violation, or a constant repetition of a minor violation mods do NOT want to boot people. And he wasn't booted in that instance. He was given warnings to stop trolling. Why didn't I feel it warranted a boot? Because it wasn't interrupting the flow of chat, it was being dealt with in a private pm. His actually boot occured after the fourth instance (that I know of) of being warned by mods. And his response to that was to start this thread. To answer your question in regards to a retail store, yes, I would have done EXACTLY the same thing - explain the store policies, patiently listen to the complaints of the patron, offer a solution, direct them to the person in charge if I could not satisy them and finally, when all else fails, direct them to a store that might better suit there needs. And the chances are good, especially if I had other customers I was dealing with, that this exchange would also take about 20 minutes. I am having a difficult time understanding you. On one post you complain that the mods are over zealous, that you experienced an accidental kick from an "over zealous" mod. That even though the mod admitted that a mistake had been made and apologized that you were still angry. As a mod, I can tell you that "quick to hit the button" is not an indication of an over zealous mod - it is a reference to the way the room list will "jump" when someone enters or leaves the room. There are instances when a mod is in the process of kicking someone out and the room list jumps to the next name. This is a rare occurance, but it does happen. As it sounds it did to you. Now, when an example is being shown of the patience of mods NOT being quick to kick someone, NOT being over zealous you are suggesting that they should have been quicker on the boot? You also mentioned on a previous post that you are a "customer here" and that you don't "feel as if you had been served properly". No you are not a "customer". A customer is one who purchases goods or services from another. You are a nonpaying member of a social website that offers a FREE chat room to all members. Hope this helps to clarify certain issues for you and give you a better understanding of what the (volunteer) chat room mods do on a daily basis to help make this a better site!
PeteyB replies:Whether I have paid or not is not the issue as to wherher I am a customer or not. I do come here and the site does serve as you say.. even those of us who have not yet paid. As with each site they are all here trying to provide a service and of course try and make some sort of profit for the site owner otherwise why spend his time and effort. it's alot of work to do one of these and I'm sure the owner has paid his dues. Your reply is a prime example of what I mean. I am sure you are a great person and I am sure you also spend a lot of time and effort doing what you think is best for the site. But to insult a person who does come here sort of made my point for me. I realize it is in your best interest to throw off the comments and considerations of the many people who feel they have made a valid complaint. I think I have made my point and this OP was not the first to complain.. I don't think I need 20 minutes of your time since most here in the clique seem to be happy. I'll just stay out of chat and not respond anymore to these kinds of postings as my point was made. And.. let me thank you for your time in making the site a better place as I do agree the moderators are necessary for some people do not know how to act.
Please, explain to me, in what way have I insulted you? In what way have I thrown off the comments and considerations of the many people who feel they have valid complaints? And who are these MANY people? This thread has elicited responses from 36 people. Out of those 36 people, only 6 (the OP included) have stated that mods are not needed. And out of those 6 only 4 have actually voiced valid complaints.
Because of those 4 (yourself included), I have responded politely and have attempted to be as informative as possible. I have answered questions to the best of my abilities. Ive joined, with the OP, in what I hope will be a helpful and educational (for all) dialog.
You have asked questions. I have answered you considerately, honestly and gone into great depth to help you have a better understanding of what mods do and how they handle different situations and why a conversation may take as long as it does.
Youve had a valid concern about a mod who was quick to hit the button which resulted in your being accidentally kicked out of the chat room. Ive explained to you what that term actually means to a mod and hopefully shown you that it is not a symptom of an over-zealous mod, but a rare occurrence that happens because of a vagary of the chat room.
Ive admitted to having difficulty understanding your conflicting posts.
You feel that you are a customer here. I have only stated facts that you are not.
According to four different references here is what a customer is:
Customer noun,
a person who purchases goods or services from another; buyer; patron.
(source: dictionary.com)
one that purchases a commodity or service
(source: Merriam-Webster.com)
buyer: a person or company that buys goods or services
(source: Encarta.com)
One that buys goods or services.
(Source: American Heritage Dictionary of the English Language, 4th edition)
Fact
You have not bought or paid for goods or services on TN, therefore according to the definition of a customer, you are not a customer.
Fact
You are a non-paying member of a website.
Fact
If you were a paying member, the service you would be paying for is not use of the chatroom as that particular service is free to ALL members.
In stating these facts, I have not insulted you, criticized you, denigrated you, called you any names, made any derogatory remarks towards you or passed judgement on you. I have simply stated facts.
I have never criticized any one on this site for not being a paying member or not posting facial pictures. I understand there are many reasons why one would not or could not do either. I have been there in both circumstances.
Please, explain to me, in what way have I insulted you? In what way have I thrown off the comments and considerations of any one who feels they have a valid complaint?
Jen
Thank you Jen, for your continued patient efforts over time. Below is another definition to consider. I think some on this site enjoy playing this role for the odd joy of getting under the skin of polite people.(Definition from dictionary dot com)(sorry, the code evades all attempts to correct)
Let's try this....
provocateur
pruh-vok-uh-tur, -toor; Fr. praw-vaw-ka-tcEr
-noun, plural -teurs
-turz, -toorz; Fr. -tcEr
.
1.
a person who provokes trouble, causes dissension, or the like; agitator.
OK, I can't recreate the french cE character.
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