My point is that many women would be nudists or go nude for their husband / partner. Nudity is not a state of dress / undress women seem to be as keen on as men. Many seem to get to like it and learn that there are not many catwalk models at the beach which I think is a healthy thing to learn.
soonbenude,
This came into play with my wife prior to becoming a social nudist. She jumped in with both feet and entire body right after we were married. We were married on a Thursday and never put clothes on until Sunday evening and only for about 3 hrs. After we got back to our apartment, she stripped first! But my stumbling block was not nudism, it was social nudism.
I had been a long, long time Playboy magazine subscriber. For almost 27 years, I got my monthly mag in the mail. Di looked through them, read articles and those cheesy letter to the editor about, "I can't believe this happened to me," BS stories. The thing was, is that Di felt I was comparing her and her body to those in the magazines. She also felt that only those types of women went to nude places/colonies. Times when Di did look through the Playboy mags, she'd kinda cover up a little more often. Then it would wear off and she was naked more often. I saw the pattern. First thing I did was ditch the mags and subscription. Once that was done, Di was naked all the time. She was more than willing to take our nudism outside into our backyards.
The beach visit would come next and like your wife, my wife knew the difference between nudism and sex but the excitement of being nude in public took over her senses, at times, and she wanted to find a place at our nude beach to have sex. Sometimes we were almost the only ones on a beach, and it was doable but most times, she had to quell those desires until we were in a more suitable place. haha What happened was an epiphany on our first nude beach visit and subsequent visits to other nude beaches, clubs and resorts. There were no Playboy models that visited. Sure, there were some women that were slender and fit, but their bodies were in focus and not airbrushed. There are some nudist women that may fit the Playboy model mold, but the vast majority are just normal body type women. This really sat well with my wife and her confidence in herself grew quickly. Soon, she was suggesting and planning visits to the beach, our club and to resorts.
I have a close nudist female friend. We met online on one of these sites. We became good friends and talked on the phone quite a bit. Her issue was the opposite of what we are discussing here. She was the hardcore nudist and her husband wasn't. He had the body image issues and she did not. She wanted to visit the beach, clubs and resorts, he was reluctant. His other issue was that all these strange men would be looking at his naked wife. They eventually found common ground but to this day, he's never the one to suggest a nude place and when it's suggested, he's usually got his heels planted into the ground before they get there. She's a female that is in many of these guys flip flops. Her husband just isn't into it like she is. We eventually met at a resort out here by us. She, Di and I hit it off but her husband didn't like our friendship, became jealous and though they did visit this resort again, he only agreed if I was not going to be there. Oh well!
A good thread. I've talked to my wife about trying nudism again (we went to nude beach once for first time last summer) and she is willing to do that again. However, she specified she doesn't want to socialize nude and so is disinclined to go to a resort or arranged nudist gatherings. Neither of us are outgoing people (although she more than I normally) and the nude aspect increases the anxiety about it. So, in short: being naked in vicinity to others=OK; being naked and people seeking to socialize=EHH.
Given that I'm not out there trying to socialize normally, I'm not seeking to sell her on a sudden interest in socializing but now without clothing!
I'm more open to low-key socializing in a nudist setting and don't know how to meet our currently different tolerances and interests.
I was thinking a bit further on this topic of "I'm just here because of my husband."
I've seen 2 different categories of this:
"I'm just here because of my husband...but I do enjoy being naked with him and {sunning, swimming, etc....} "
and
"I'm just here because of my husband...but I'm just not into nudity."
Same "cause"; completely different reaction.
Looking back at my first marriage, my wife initially had a mindset that approximated the second one. And after a few resort/non-landed trips, I was ready to quit. For one thing, I didn't like the optics of appearing like I was forcing my wife to be there. Second, I felt that her strong resistance to being seen nude created a discomfort for other women, which led to avoidance. Although I was sympathetic to her body-shame, I didn't want us to be defined that way by other nudists. Luckily, on what was supposed to be our last trip, a friendly and kind group of women managed to talk her out of her body-shame and embrace being confident in her nudity.
I know this is not a very popular opinion; but as I mentioned in my original post, if "she's just not into it", no matter how much she is willing to "give in and go anyway"; who is that helping?
I know this is not a very popular opinion; but as I mentioned in my original post, if "she's just not into it", no matter how much she is willing to "give in and go anyway"; who is that helping?
As we got older, the trek down to the only local nude beach we have in So Cal, Black's Beach, got more difficult for my wife. She is not comfortable with heights and the trail down and back up is not only steep, but the trail is narrow in many spots. No matter how many times you tell someone, "Don't look down," they do and that really increases their anxiety.
This anticipated anxiety and stress made my wife's time on the beach less enjoyable. In a 6-hour visit, she was maybe enjoying herself less than a 3rd of the time. The last two hours or the visit, she was already stressing about the trek back up which was twice as difficult for her. For us, it wasn't helping that she just didn't enjoy herself anymore. She would agree to go just to go with me, but it was not enjoyable. So, we just stopped going.
For us, it wasn't helping that she just didn't enjoy herself anymore. She would agree to go just to go with me, but it was not enjoyable. So, we just stopped going.
On that note.
Back when I ran into an old co-worker and we started being included in their group of friends, I was overjoyed. My wife was lukewarm. Over time that turned to aggravation; as we then barely spent any time by ourselves. She wasn't adverse to socializing; but the constant feeling of being "crowded" - and the unavoidable "up close exposure" - prevented her from being truly relaxed. Her complaints eventually turned into a full-fledged argument; so we had to dramatically cut down on socializing - much to my chagrin - by going on days where our friends were not there. The alternative was much bleaker.I'm more open to low-key socializing in a nudist setting and don't know how to meet our currently different tolerances and interests.
Per my anecdote above; I would recommend going to a resort that has large enough grounds to stay clear of the crowd. At a C/O resort, your wife can even stay covered until you find a more "private" spot where she can be comfortably nude. It can work.
Per my anecdote above; I would recommend going to a resort that has large enough grounds to stay clear of the crowd. At a C/O resort, your wife can even stay covered until you find a more "private" spot where she can be comfortably nude. It can work.
Thanks. I wonder why this dichotomy appears. Maybe to some extent there is a sublimation (the diversion or modification of an instinctual impulse into a culturally higher or socially more acceptable activity) of sexual drive, particularly where a man wants it to be a shared activity with his wife. If so, a fight to keep her involved can be even more dispiriting.
I'm more open to low-key socializing in a nudist setting and don't know how to meet our currently different tolerances and interests.Per my anecdote above; I would recommend going to a resort that has large enough grounds to stay clear of the crowd. At a C/O resort, your wife can even stay covered until you find a more "private" spot where she can be comfortably nude. It can work.
If a reluctant/hesitant or even moderately unwilling partner agrees to at least go, the best place to try it is a clothing optional club. Not a resort but a club. If you have an RV or are able to rent an RV, even better. At our club, we have met several couples where the female half of the couple was not will go nude around others. She wanted to keep it between her husband and herself. The had an RV, rented a spot, set up and she never left the campsite. They all stated that it was only a two night stay. The first day, the female typically remained covered. By mid second day, they were naked on their site only. They admitted that they were seen and that they observed other people walking by nude. It gave these women some removed observances where they could get some of their answers to questions, without asking, dispel misconceptions and better understand that it wasn't the big deal they thought it was.
A couple of them never returned but a few did return and a couple of them actually joined the club. There are so many misconceptions about this lifestyle and so many females fear their husbands are getting them into something sexual. It's a difficult portion of this lifestyle that we all have to navigate, sometimes, no matter how long you've been a social nudist. It's not for everyone but I've always been one of those, "Don't knock it til you've tried it," kinda guys. My wife was not one of those until she finally agreed to try social nudism, found friends, found a freedom she loves and enjoys.
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