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But, there is no secret recipe. All you can do is "stack the cards in her favor" and hope that what she sees there evokes inspiration.
THIS is the key. Especially with getting advice on a nudist website, from strangers. No one here really knows your personal situation. No one here really knows you or your spouse or significant other. Trying to give advice to someone, on someone you have no idea who they are and what their feelings, thoughts, concerns, fears are with just simple nudity, is somewhat irrelevant.
When some of us that have been through these issues, give advice, I think it's more sharing of stories that helped us in similar situations. But ultimately, it comes down to your own personal situation. Most times, I've read or communicated with guys and a couple of close female nudist friends, about what they can do to make their spouse acceptable or more agreeable to trying nudism. In most cases, the reluctant, significant other will not talk about it at all. You don't know why they don't want to try it. Their response is, "I don't want to do it, and I don't want to talk about it." You can't fix it if you don't know what's broken.
You last line hit home with me when it came to taking our nudism, social. I stacked all the cards in my wife's favor. But in all honesty, my wife was completely forthcoming on her hesitation. She shared her concerns and fears. We went and when she'd had enough, we packed up and left. What that did, for me, was show her that my priority was her wellbeing and comfort. This, in turn, caused her to want to visit these places more often.
Though it's mostly men that have to go through this dilemma and process, there are some women out there that go through this as well. Two women that I became friends with via a nudist website, had very similar situations with their husbands. Their issues were much the same as the men where the husbands would not talk about it, only that they questioned why their wife wanted to be see naked by other men. Many times, it's a misconception of the lifestyle and you may not be able to change that mindset.
Yeap. Not being able to edit or delete makes me squeamish about posting something I can't change later.Though it's mostly men that have to go through this dilemma and process, there are some women out there that go through this as well.
Oh yes.
A good friend of my wife, upon finding out we were nudists, really wanted to accompany us on a trip to our resort. She had been to the nude beach before; and my wife and her had sunbathed nude while on vacation together. Her boyfriend was adamantly opposed to it. He's a bodybuilder, in better shape than I am. My wife tried to talk to him; to no avail. His issue was not his GF being seen nude by me or anyone else, or him seeing my wife nude; it was his own body dysmorphia. Which goes to show it's not only a female issue.
I once met a husband who was there at a nudist BnB "because of his wife." He chose to participate and be nude with her nonetheless because "it made her happy." But he had no nudist inclinations of his own. Good on him, though...
I think someones comfort level in a particular resort will have a lot to do with returning alone after a death or divorce.
For the past 5 or 6 years weve spent most of our nude vacation time in Charco De Palo, the naturist village on Lanzarote. We both love this place and Lorna has told me she would continue to holiday there even after I was gone.
Id like to share two experiences from last September. We arrived at our apartment mid afternoon, a couple were sitting out enjoying the sun in the apartment to our right, we said hello in passing and got to unpacking. Later after dinner we were sitting out enjoying a glass of wine, and we got chatting to this other couple. After about an hour chatting about all the usual topics on first meeting people, the lady told us that she wasnt a nudist, it is her husband who is. This was a great surprise to us, as for the last 4 hours all she had been wearing was a floppy hat and sunglasses. It was their first visit to Charco and she said she found it so comfortable and at ease with the palace that being nude seemed much more normal.
Her comfort level was definitely the reason she spent most of her time nude. They rebooked another visit before their holiday was over.
The next day the room on our left became occupied, and it turned out to be someone we had met the pervious year. Another couple, but only the woman was there, she explained that her husband was due to come at the same time, but something came up back home that he had to delay by 4 days, she told us that she wasnt going to miss 4 naked days because of him and she was happy to go alone. Her comfort level with Charco was the reason she could happily do this.
So I suppose, if you find the right places its easier for women to think they would be happy to return without a chaperone.
I think someones comfort level in a particular resort will have a lot to do with returning alone after a death or divorce.For the past 5 or 6 years weve spent most of our nude vacation time in Charco De Palo, the naturist village on Lanzarote. We both love this place and Lorna has told me she would continue to holiday there even after I was gone.Id like to share two experiences from last September. We arrived at our apartment mid afternoon, a couple were sitting out enjoying the sun in the apartment to our right, we said hello in passing and got to unpacking. Later after dinner we were sitting out enjoying a glass of wine, and we got chatting to this other couple. After about an hour chatting about all the usual topics on first meeting people, the lady told us that she wasnt a nudist, it is her husband who is. This was a great surprise to us, as for the last 4 hours all she had been wearing was a floppy hat and sunglasses. It was their first visit to Charco and she said she found it so comfortable and at ease with the palace that being nude seemed much more normal.Her comfort level was definitely the reason she spent most of her time nude. They rebooked another visit before their holiday was over.The next day the room on our left became occupied, and it turned out to be someone we had met the pervious year. Another couple, but only the woman was there, she explained that her husband was due to come at the same time, but something came up back home that he had to delay by 4 days, she told us that she wasnt going to miss 4 naked days because of him and she was happy to go alone. Her comfort level with Charco was the reason she could happily do this.So I suppose, if you find the right places its easier for women to think they would be happy to return without a chaperone.
The social aspect of nudism didn't come as easy for my wife as nudism confined to the house and backyard. She didn't get the reason or need to share something as intimate as nudity between us. It wasn't until she agreed to at least try the nude beach scene. I guess if I was truthful, she did agree to give it a try because of me. She was content with home and backyard nudism for 20 years. I felt confined. I knew there were others like us that lived it almost daily and we could make some friends that included that part of our life.
It took a few visits but she began waving at people we'd seen at the beach several times. We sat in roughly the same place each time and a younger couple had come down a few times and sat nearby. In general conversation we found that they actually lived close to us. The next visit we sat closer and then together from there on. They introduced us to another couple that visited with their kids and by the middle of summer, we had exchanged numbers, coordinated visits and set up our spots together. Di began to realize what I was trying to achieve by making nudist friends and having friends that lived and enjoyed this way of life.
It would have been somewhat better if our textile friends would have agreed to give nudism a try. But with each segue into the conversation, we realized they just weren't mature enough to even talk about it. So, we had two circles of friends and because the textiles wouldn't be able to contain themselves, we never mixed the two groups of friends.
Di found that with her female nudist friends, there was a more open and truthful exchange of life's issues and things they were going through. Discussions about family, children and other things was more real and honest with the nudist friends than the textile friends. The notion that you strip away those walls and barriers when you strip off your clothes became quite evident between both sets of friends. Sadly, like in some cases, friendships suffered several years ago due to political adversities. Regrettably, I doubt they will return at any point in the future.
Di now realizes the importance of experiencing social nudism. Though we're not near as social as we once were, we still visit clubs, resorts and the occasional visit to an accessible nude beach. We are social but besides being friendly and cordial, we don't seem to be as concerned about making the close friends we once did. We have a circle of close nudist friends, but we all live in different states. The ability to meet up at a club or resort for the day or weekend is very difficult. Still, Di likes to visit these places and socialize to a point and it's not just because of me anymore.
Here's where it gets aggravating not being able to edit.
We've talked about what our nudist life would be like if one or the other passed on. I say that because I do not see Di and I ever divorcing. We've been together for 56 years, still going strong and not only love each other but like each other and being together.
As Di once said, "nudism is part of my DNA. I have a need, desire to be nude as often as I can." Di has some of that nudist DNA in her but doesn't have the need and desire to the level that I have. With that, I would continue to visit places, hopefully still remain a member of our club but probably visit the nude beaches more often that she didn't care for.
Di says that though she would most likely remain a home and backyard nudist, she would not venture into social nudism anymore, once I'm gone. I am her safety net, her chaperone, her main reason for being a nudist and social nudist and she just doesn't seem to want to continue social nudism without me.
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