In your opinion, do labels matter? Why?
Good evening friends,
I am not 100% sure how the topic came up, but in the chat room, the issue of labels came up. I seemed to be the only one that was okay with labels some of the time. I stated that labels are important because it provides insight into someone/something. I added that it provided background and allowed us to better understand. I am a homosexual. A heterosexual stated, like who you like, its doesn't matter, labels don't matter. And another homosexual said that he didn't want to be judged for being gay. I agree with both of them. But I also agree that labels can be acceptable, unless we assign value to the varying different groups.
What's your opinion?
My personal opinion, I think they matter, just like most things we encounter, have their time and place. As a first generation born Asian American homosexual, I find it valuable that you identify the label "first generation born" and understand that there are things that I grew up with in a house in America that varies dramatically from the "traditional American house"... I am not saying I can't learn or won't learn, but there has to be some sort of learning curve that is in my favor.
This started out about sex and sexuality, but I think a great discussion to be had in the general senses. Thoughts..
People dont like labels until they do. When some people decry labels its usually because it doesnt serve their interests. It has been my experience that the same people will adopt and use labels whe it serves some perceived interest. I had a long debate with someone about that once online but then visited their online profile only to find them using several identity label.
Bottom line is we all have identities that define the way we see ourselves some more than others. We use labels to reflect those identities.
I believe labels can both leverage and smother us. We are free to use them as we evolve. One one hand they can help reframe us and our thinking, but can also throw us into a ghetto of narrow-mindedness. It's currently in vogue to use orientation labels, which I refer to as prefixed sexuality. In a way they remind me of the hyphenated Americanism that emerged when I was growing up ("Kiss me, I'm Irish-American"). I've has a hard time adopting one that fits. If I get aroused from the warm rays on my sun-starved body, does that make me solarsexual? Let me examine labels in a broader context than just sexual ones.
As an immigrant kid I've struggled "fitting in" and being thought of as "not from here" no matter where I live, all without the added sting of racism which some experience. It's not easy but somehow I'm wealthier as a result.
The US is also very Puritanical (in some parts more than others), which means that we gravitate towards black/white thinking and tend to become more cartoonish and extreme in our behaviors. The ability to reinvent ourselves is a blessing, though sometimes we feel forced to accept between false opposites. Choose labels carefully as result.
The best labels reinforce our natural strengths and define what we can offer spontaneously and generously. You inherently understand the nuances which helps you to give a properly measured response. For example, if you're Mexican you can share the glories of your cuisine without knowing perhaps all regional differences but elevating things a mile higher than the basement knowledge of Taco Bell.
Give those things that add life and vitality with your labels and let go of the results. You'll be a shining light to others in the process. I for one have leaned an incredible amount from gays who have "come out" to embrace my authenticity and individual dynamics that I was derided for growing up. In other words, if you have something to hide, paint it red.
Labels can be helpful early in a relationship/friendship, but can lead to division. While Ketanji Brown Jackson is an excellent choice for the Supreme Court, prior to her actual nomination it was widely reported that the search was for an African American woman. This makes it appear that her race and sex were determining factors in her selection, tainting it.
As others have said, labels are both useful and limiting. They can serve very different purposes.
A label I adopt for myself can help me organize my self-concept and find my position in the community, whether or not I articulate it to others.
A label I adopt for myself, if I articulate it, tells others something about me that I want them to know.
A label others apply to me necessarily limits me in their eyes. People don't really think of themselves as "Asian", for example, but as Indian or Japanese or whatever. "Asian" is really a name for a body of prejudices; the group to which it applies is simply those who are subject to those prejudices. These labels are important politically, but not personally.
The same label can work in all three ways, and differently in different people's lives at different times.
When I first identified myself as "gay', it was a tool for understanding myself. Then it became an essentially political tool, with which I identified myself as part of a group, many of which I had almost nothing in common with except that the wider society regarded us negatively, and with whom I made common cause as an activist for societal acceptance.
Now, it's a label I use to tell people about myself in a shorthand way, although I no longer think of gayness as something I am; I didn't marry my husband because of his gender, but because I love him.
As a gay male, labels are very important. Labelling myself as "gay" means that females know straight away not to try to pick me up. It also tells other men that I might be interested. Similarly, when a guy labels himself as "straight", it signifies he's interested in females but not males.
Thus, we save the time wasting and disappointment, thinking someone that takes our fancy might be interested when they are not. My own experience with men that don't like labels, is that they have a closet gay side which they're not comfortable admitting to.
My own experience with men that don't like labels, is that they have a closet gay side which they're not comfortable admitting to.
I am gay, and don't like labels. They seem to be more a way of separating people rather than uniting them. Too much them and us.
I cant imagine how things would be without labels. People wouldnt have names, places wouldnt have names, every object in the known universe would be called a thing. Labels, or names are what we use to differentiate one thing from another. To not like them is ridiculous.
I label myself as gay because it's a good shorthand for the way I am living my life, married to a man. If I were single, I'm not sure I'd identify myself as gay, except when called on to do so in the political sense, lest I seem to be running away from it. But personally, every person is their own unique self, not their gender, and deserves to be met with full and genuine openness.
To take a less freighted example. You may say you like blondes. If the word "blondephile" existed, you might adopt it as a label. First point, why the plural? Won't you interact with them one at a time? Aren't you open to focusing on one particular person? Second point, people are not their hair color. What does it mean, what does it really do, to announce to every brunette you meet that you're a blondephile? It closes doors, and it's kinda rude. Sure, if social recognition of your blondephile tendencies had led to significant difficulties you had to push back against - if there were a supportive blondephile community the label gave you membership in - you might harden your identification with the label. But in a personal - not political - sense, does it really serve you?
I have posted about this and had two posts deleted - by whom? - probably because I called it by a different name. Homophobia. Thats what it is. Its not about labels, its about the homophobia of chat room moderators. People can use labels like male, female, Christian, black, etc, and thats fine, but if you dare use the label of Gay in the chat room, you can be muted or banned. Which is disappointing especially here, where we come to be ourselves, nudists, without judgment. I use the label Gay to find my tribe on here, as everyone does with their own labels. If I were to say no one cares that youre a Christian then I would get booted for that opinion, but thats exactly what happened to me when I said I was gay. Its homophobia. And Im tired of it.
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