Dealing with body dysmorphia and nudism
Hey guys,
I am curious about other guys who have struggled with body-confidence, self-image, and even body dysmorphia. I have always been insecure about my body, though I have dove into nudism and that has helped some. Still, I am very insecure about my chest and torso and really hate to be fully nude because of it (I am a Donald Ducker). Any tips, strategies, meditations, whatever to help beat this. I know that simply being shirtless more will force me towards acceptance, but when my insecurity is bad I feel totally uncomfortable without a shirt. Maybe that is okay? But I want to move past the insecurity and just celebrate nudity all the time.
Guess I am looking for advice.
Edit: I have lost some definition/gained a little weight since the last time I posted my full frontals-- this has ramped up the insecurity.
Your profile describes you as a social nudist. Are you, in fact, going naked among other people in non-sexual contexts - at beaches, resorts, house parties, wherever?
I've dealt with body dysmorphia ever since puberty - I keep thinking I need to lose weight, despite knowing full well I'm not overweight. When my meatspace interactions with people are all clothed, this creeps up on me; I come to feel that my clothes are hiding the secret of my big flabby body from others, and it feeds on itself. Cyberspace is no cure, naked or clothed, because at the primal level where dysmorphia lives, it's not real. And it consists of trading images, which only deepens the sense that others react to us as images - even the compliments reinforce that.
On the other hand, real, in-person social nudity is a powerful antidote. When everyone's naked together, it's entirely evident that bodies differ, a lot, and that people don't really have to focus on that. The mirror is not your friend. Nor is the camera. The image that matters is what you see reflected in others' eyes.
Thanks for this!
I am a social nudist primarily and I do get fully naked most social gatherings I attend, however I am anxious a lot of the time and definitely stress about it leading up to the event. I agree that these experiences do make you ease into comfort and focus on more important things, but they still do make me uncomfortable
Andy's advice is first-rate and very wise, in part because he's encouraging you to not dismiss the dysmorphia as "just in your head," but to realize that it's registering (but lurking) in various parts of your body. You may not have suffered actual trauma, but this does happen to trauma victims. My suggestion is to try a full-body massage from a well-experienced masseur or masseuse. I find that massage helps me to: (1) visualize muscles and body areas that I'm not aware of; and 2) visualize and feel them interconnected when I usually think of them as fragmented from one another. In other words, it helps me feel physically and emotionally whole. Good luck!
I believe I can very much relate to what youre feeling. Its an odd feeling, knowing both that youd like to feel more comfortable in your body, knowing theres probably nothing to worry about anyway, and yet always to feel something stopping you, some background thought or doubt that keeps coming back. Im not sure I can have specific advice though, but I think its great that youre aware of it in the first place, it took me very long to just realize I even had those sorts of mixed feelings or doubts. I remember I used to have - and still have actually - slight breathing issues caused by, as ridiculous as it sounds, a kind of reflex for a still and flat stomach (thus limiting air intake).
In any case, I guess progress is slow and gradual around body dysmorphia. I agree that spending time around other people, without pushing yourself, should help best. Keep it up!
Thank you all for sharing your experiences and thoughts. Odd as it sounds, its helpful to know I am not the only one who deals with this.
I guess my big take away is I need to be naked around other people more :P Not mad about that haha
I remember I used to have - and still have actually - slight breathing issues caused by, as ridiculous as it sounds, a kind of reflex for a still and flat stomach (thus limiting air intake).
I believe that deep breathing and engaging the transverse abdominal muscles (the lowest stomach muscles below the belt line) is key. Part of my dysfunction has been shallow breathing and what a difference it makes to breathe deep from the gut! My shoulders relax, my "just there for no particular reason" tension relaxes and my sense of power strengthens. It's nothing I can change overnight, but improving. I'll take it - good luck!
Hey mate! I'm sorry to hear you've been feeling the way you do. I can relate a lot - I first had a diagnosis of body dysmorphia around 15 years ago. I wouldn't look in mirrors, I would avoid intimacy and being nude in front of anyone. I've had therapy and hypnotherapy for it, with varying levels of success. It was a therapist who suggested I try nudism to help with body acceptance, back in 2016-ish just before I joined this site. And it has helped me in general, although I have found that there are certain nudists who can make you feel a lot worse (for example you post a nude pic and they feel the need to pick apart and comment on all your various body parts as if they're judging a fucking pageant). I can see from your photos that you're a very attractive and handsome man, face and body, but I also know that me telling you that probably won't make a difference to your opinion of yourself, such is the nature of body dysmorphia! I hope you keep on progressing and feeling better about yourself :)
tjguy117 wrote:I have lost some definition/gained a little weight since the last time I posted my full frontals-- this has ramped up the insecurity.
The fact that you've used words that almost nobody but bodybuilders use tells me that you might be approaching the issue from the standpoint of the ideal form and measuring your own look by those standards.
In a way, nudism/naturism is the polar opposite of that viewpoint. Ironically, the more committed you are to exposing all of your body, the less things like body abnormalities or deviations come to matter. You are literally the only one in the crowd that is concerned about how you look. Nobody else cares, nobody else judges. So think of that.
True, there are nudists who care very much about their bodies, and work out to achieve their goals of physical perfection. There are nudists who work on even tans. There are even some who adorn their bodies with tattoos and bling and makeup. But these are all personal goals, their attempt to make themselves more comfortable with their bodies. They are not pressures from the nudist community in general. That's an important distinction.
Thank you for sharing. This was a good topic to read. I was just explaining to someone (non nudist) what is so great about nudism. And it is the the fact that non of the bodies at nude resorts are perfect and the only criticizing is you on yourself. Then in a social setting I can let go of that pretty quickly.
I recall on a visit to a nude resort, I was in the hot tub with other people. Then a woman in a wheelchair and her husband arrived. Her legs were skinny and underdeveloped so I assume she was in a chair most of her life. I remember thinking that of all the people here she had a good reason to be self-conscious. But it made me happy to see she wasnt. It made me think anyone can be happy regardless of what they think of their own body. You just have to keep doing it. And I believe social nudism helps reinforce that acceptance of self.
Just keep going, mindset does not change overnight. In fact you may not notice the change until one day you see witness something and you realize I have been doing this.
Agreed that online only exacerbates the issue. Get out and experience it.
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