His whole thing is hammering the idea that his experience with nudism and nudist venues is the reality for everyone.
I can speak for myself, thank you. Local nudism for me as a single dad is often more Puritanical than church coffee hour. Discrimination by its nature does not make a universal experience. The Midwest part of the US is different that the coasts. The nudist venues I've encountered in California, Texas and Florida are different and will likely be around 20 years from now.
I am more comfortable at "straight" or couples resorts than at a gay one - mostly because any sexual tension is eliminated. I would never simply announce that I am gay, but if the topic were to come up, I wouldn't hide it. Can I assume a straight male nudist wouldn't have concerns? I actually like forming friendships with straight men in a bonding sort of way. Every man I meet is very friendly, but I am wondering if it's better to steer the conversation elsewhere when talking about partners, dating, etc. Thoughts? - Particularly from men over 50.
I've just read through the responses in this meandering string. First of all, why would you hide who you are? As you suggested, "Guess, what? I'm gay!" need not be the first words out of your mouth when meeting someone for the first time. In fact, that approach would be just as awkward as "Guess, what? I'm straight!". On the other hand, I wouldn't steer the conversation elsewhere when talking about partners or dating. Just answer any questions truthfully. "Where is your wife?" "My husband is home." You cannot be responsible for others' feelings about who you are. If they are uncomfortable around gay men or bisexual men, they can avoid you - although, someone should remind them that they are among gay and bisexual men on a regular basis as they wander through daily life - they just aren't aware of it.
Elsewhere in this string, some people have discussed the "no single men" policies that some resorts have. I suspect the motivation behind these policies is either that (a) large numbers of solo men might be intimidating to women, or (b) single men are likely to be sexual predators. (I hope that the motivation behind the policy isn't that a large male to female ratio is off-putting to men - if this is the motivation, see item (b)). The second presumption is inherent in the first presumption. The notion that single men are likely to be sexual predators not only is wildly wrong, but it focuses on the wrong issue. The real issue is behavior. Nudist resorts that want to control male behavior should be focused on exactly that. Their policies should make clear what they consider appropriate versus inappropriate behavior, and they should enforce their policies. Oh - and those policies should apply equally to female behavior. I can't possibly count the number of times I've hit on by aggressive women who won't take no for an answer.
Others here have discussed the notion that nudity should or should not be divorced from sexuality - and many popular naturist or nudist organizations have similar discussions or policies around this. In my view, such a conversation is pointless. Sexuality cannot be divorced from human nudity because humans are sexual beings by their very nature - the drive for sex is similar to the need to breathe, eat, or drink water. Once again, the real issue is behavior. If you want to invite people to a nudist party but don't want it to devolve into an orgy, then just state the rules so that people know them, and kick out anyone who doesn't abide by the rules. It's really that simple.
Others here have discussed the notion that nudity should or should not be divorced from sexuality - and many popular naturist or nudist organizations have similar discussions or policies around this. In my view, such a conversation is pointless. Sexuality cannot be divorced from human nudity because humans are sexual beings by their very nature - the drive for sex is similar to the need to breathe, eat, or drink water. Once again, the real issue is behavior. If you want to invite people to a nudist party but don't want it to devolve into an orgy, then just state the rules so that people know them, and kick out anyone who doesn't abide by the rules. It's really that simple.
Well put! The reasoning at such resorts is that standards of behavior are not defined, and if you have to ask, you don't belong, and since men need to ask, they don't belong. It leaves a lot open to interpretation and discrimination. Much like on the chat room on TN. Men (typically) are discriminated against, stop participating, go elsewhere, and then, hey, what happened to this site? I hear the crickets. And no one should be surprised at the consequences.
I finally found a resort not too far from Chicago which is more open and accepting to single men than my past experiences. It's called Cedar Hills near Madison, WI https://www.cedarhillcampground.com/. Sexuality is a non-issue, neither repressed nor gone wild. Perhaps one reason it works is that it's relatively large and spread out without a pool or much defined common space - great for tent camping. It's adults only, so I still have no where I could bring my sons (they are 18+ but under 21), but now they have their own lives and interests any way (and it's not nudism).
I am genuinely happy that you have finally found a place that accepts you, like I said in a previous comment . There is a place for everyone.
I hope your nudist time is much happier now.
I wonder if you could elaborate on the meaning of thisSexuality is a non-issue, neither repressed nor gone wild.
as its a sentence that could easily apply to people attending a soccer match or a Jehovahs Witness wedding service, as to any nudist setting.
Apart from letting you attend how is Cedar Hills different to any other resort?
Resorts of what ever kind, are private venues and they can set their own rules. Even 'male' resorts some will state 'males only'.
This is the key issue. Resorts often do not state their rules, including their quotas, their discrimination or their codes of conduct. Nor do organizations like AANR. When is a single male a single male? When it depends on the direction the wind is blowing, it's a sign to stay away.
A good deal of resorts do state their rules of conduct and clearly reflect if they are an AANR or other afficidated organizations. Even when you show up, they make your sign a paper that states the rules. Now if you didn't read them that's on you. Been to more than 30 resorts, and each one made me sign what they accepts are proper behavor. It's up to those that are there to behave within those guidelines. The only way the management can enforce those guidelines is if it is not withing the rules, it is brought to their attention when individuals violate them. They can't be everywhere and actually would you want someone standing in the corner watching what is going on?
As I stated, it comes down to the intentions of individuals attending these places to how they will behave, not the resorts to question each individual of why they are there. It is expected that individuals will behave according to the rules they were presented.
I am more comfortable at "straight" or couples resorts than at a gay one - mostly because any sexual tension is eliminated. I would never simply announce that I am gay, but if the topic were to come up, I wouldn't hide it. Can I assume a straight male nudist wouldn't have concerns? I actually like forming friendships with straight men in a bonding sort of way. Every man I meet is very friendly, but I am wondering if it's better to steer the conversation elsewhere when talking about partners, dating, etc. Thoughts? - Particularly from men over 50.
One of the main things that nudism is to accept others for who they are, regardless of what labels we are put into ourselves or by others. This of been 'straight' or 'gay' or 'transgender' or 'bi' is just a label for our sexual desires. And then within those labels, is another whole range of ways that individuals feel they are within that label. What you talk about is what the conversation is about. If it gets to be something about your relationship, then be honest about it. Why should you have to be something different so that you don't offend someone who may just be accepting of you been a 'gay' man. If you get the impression they are not comfortable with the conversation, then change it but to be somewhere that is to be accepting of all, been a nudist, then who sexually we prefer should not matter.
i've been visiting nudist camps - resorts and nude beaches since the 90's both coed and gay , i've always identified as bi-queer to friends but i don't announce it when i go . where ever you visit you can find a relaxing or fun that's up to you and visiting the bathhouse at a gay camp doesn't mean your going to encounter sex or have sex again it's what your looking for. most times i going i want to get some sun , pool time and when my legs don't give out hike .
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