I very much agree, age-gaps older than the parents are even better in my opinion. I had a very big age gap with my neighbor who baby-sat me when I was a lot younger. He let me walk around naked all the time and so did he, so he was more of a father figure to me when we were alone a lot!
I very much agree, age-gaps older than the parents are even better in my opinion. I had a very big age gap with my neighbor who baby-sat me when I was a lot younger. He let me walk around naked all the time and so did he, so he was more of a father figure to me when we were alone a lot!
That one of the best gifts a much older Male can give you: To motivate you being nude all the time to become a openminded and unashmamed Nudist.
I grew up without a father and never knew his paternal love and affection, nor his paternal strictness. I always wished I had a dad who would love me like his son. And I would love and respect him like my own father.
I would be an obedient boy to him and would try not to upset his parental heart. Parents love to have obedient children. The younger ones should love the older ones with respect, esteem, and obedience, while the older ones should love the younger ones gently, carefully, and affectionately. And a father for his children should primarily be like a father, a loyal, devoted, reliable friend, a good advisor, and an understanding cNow.
I am currently 66 years old, 168 cm tall and weigh 75 kg. Even now, I still want to find a pleasant-looking and kind man with a father-son age difference of 18 years or more, to live with him, love him, and take care of him. To live one life, one love, and one destiny with him. To live soul to soul, heart to heart, in love and tenderness, in peace and harmony. To be a soulful and heartfelt support for each other: strong, firm, durable, reliable, and unbreakable. To live for each other, for each other's joy, for each other's good, for each other's happiness, and in each other's name.
To be faithful and devoted to each other in all areas of human life and in personal relationships with each other. To care for each other as best as we can and to be grateful to each other for the years of living together. And most importantly, so that the atmosphere of shared life, for all the time it exists, is calm and peaceful.
(Translated using the online translator DeepL).
Was I drawn to a grandad figure?
As a boy I grew up with older female relatives nearby but both my grandfathers had died before I was born. My dad was a truly wonderful man and I adored him and his wise, kind, yet fun personality. He was an openhearted man who worked too hard out of love for his family and made many personal sacrifices to keep the peace with my mother who was a religion-obsessed prude. Only when I grew into a man myself did I realise how much he sacrificed to keep our family together.
At 11 I rebelled against my mothers obsessive religiosity and against her priest friends. By chance during the long summer holidays I discovered a meadow beside woods where men sunbathed naked and I soon became a frequent sunbather. That was the beginning of my naturism but it also led to a remarkable friendship.
All-too-often people jump to conclusions and make cliched (or even bigoted!) presumptions and come to mistaken, unfortunate judgements so Ill be clear to prevent any confusion. Yes, many of the men who were there were probably gay or bi. So what! Yes, I can understand that people could worry about a young boy going to a place like that alone and sunbathing naked. But, no, let me repeat .. no .. nothing bad or harmful ever happened to me there. In fact it became my happy place, I loved the openminded nudity and freedom-mentality there which were the antithesis of my mothers grey, prudish, judgemental religiosity, and I was treated with a lot more respect, consideration, kindness and care than I was by my mothers priest friends who WERE harmful. I belonged there!
There was an older man who was a regular there. (Well I thought he was old but at 11 you think anyone over 40 is ancient!) He was a refined and educated man in his sixties and I was a precocious kid who had a tendency to use big words which amused him.
Occasional passing greetings turned into short conversations and then sometimes into long chats in the sunshine. He told me stories that I later realised were the great Greek myths. He told them dramatically and enjoyed my reactions. (And please dont jump to any conclusions because Ive mentioned a man, a boy and Ancient Greece. Let me be one hundred per cent clear, bad things had happened me with my mothers priest friends but nothing bad ever happened with him or with anyone else at the sunbathing place. Sorry for stating that so bluntly but I dont want anyone jumping to wrong conclusions.)
What began as a passing Hi became an unlikely friendship with over half a century age difference. I didnt even know that I was learning Greek mythology and so much other culture and wisdom from him, but I often smile when I hear a Latin quote or mythological or stoical reference and think back to those summer days when we chatted and laughed in the sun. Idyllic!
My dad noticed my all over tan at bathtime and I told him where Id been going. It was near our home and he knew the place. He quietly approved of my rebellion against my mothers prudish religiosity and once he knew I was happy and safe he was happy too. By chance we met the man from the meadow at a local shop and I introduced them. I was delighted to see that he got on as well with my dad as he did with me. So dad knew about our unlikely friendship and approved of it, and when winter came I often visited the man in his house. Interestingly Dad knew and even drove me to his house when it was raining but my mother wouldnt have approved.
Over the years that followed we stayed friends, although school and studies did limit how often we could meet. Somehow we just understood each other, and we laughed, confided and even cried together at times. There was nothing that needed to be hidden between us.
Sadly his health deteriorated and I was in my late teens when he died. It seemed that his coffin had no flowers at all on it until I saw it up close, and there, as hed apparently instructed, under clear adhesive film was a dried ring of little flowers that a laughing boy had tied and placed jokingly on his head in a sunny meadow some years before that. I never knew hed kept them as a souvenir, and pressed them, or that hed cherished that simple memory so profoundly.
So an older gay man had a teenage boy who loved him crying at his funeral, and so many years later Im grateful to him and for him and for that unlikely, beautiful friendship.
I know that many would make crass assumptions about him and about our friendship but theyd be so very wrong.
Was I drawn to a grandad figure? ... So an older gay man had a teenage boy who loved him crying at his funeral, and so many years later Im grateful to him and for him and for that unlikely, beautiful friendship.
OpenNudie, your story made me teary eyed, especially at the ending with the dried flower wreath. I grew up in an ethnic evangelical enclave where most people were "othered," including gays (who were only defined in such terms as "men who'll never marry" and Catholics (for worshipping statues, etc.). Long story short: I became an exchange student in Germany to a devout Catholic family and was sporadically mentored by older gay men who made it clear that they had no interest in molesting me. They walked their talk and cared deeply, unlike the hypocrites in my church of origin (some of whom did molest boys).
I was drawn to father and grandad figures because I didn't have any with a strong presence in my life. The details are less important since it was the norm for my generation raised by the "silent generation." It was tough to become a father, even late in my 30's, because I had no clue or role models to follow. So I took the attitude that I needed to raise myself along with my sons as a single father. As they've not both hit their 20s, the three of us remain works in progress. I've also shifted my profession to work with young adult male asylum speaking refugees from all over the world, dancing the balance between affirmations and boundary setting.
I feel strongly that for those who didn't get that bond and those affirmations when we were growing up (did anybody?), it's our calling to give and be what we missed out on to younger generations. That will come straight from the heart. Yes, gentlemen, we are the gift and make a difference.
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