Broaching the Subject
Our (48M & 40M) nephew (22M) has moved in with us for a while. During an initial conversation with him it was brought up that sometimes we swim in the pool nude or have friends over who get naked in the pool. He said he was ok with that. While we dont go nude at home all the time there are times when we do and sometimes when we just feel more comfortable naked at home. I want to bring this up with him again to both let him know we may be nude at times and that he is welcome to do so as well. At the same time I dont want to make staying with us uncomfortable for him.
I know there are some who will say its your house do what you want and I dont disagree. At the same time I want to make living here comfortable for my nephew. Its a house full of guys and there shouldnt be anything to worry about. I guess Ive just never had to deal with this with someone living here only my friends who come over and then leave.
You rock it as an uncle! I assume your nephew knows you're gay and married or he wouldn't be living with you. To have a house full of men - clothed or otherwise - is part of the equation. If he id's as gay or bi, your household is likely a natural environment, albeit one in which he may bring down the average age a bit. If he considers himself straight, it might be more challenging for him to navigate. He could face two hurdles: equating nudity with sex and overcoming internalized homophobia. My personal experience with his generation is that the first is a bigger issue than the second. They aren't typically homophobic, but don't want to send the wrong signal that they're naked or get an inevitable erection because they're cruising for sex if they're not. Now that he's an adult, I hope you can explain the ground rules - including that naked men are sexual with healthy boundaries - and he will likely eventually slip off his shorts and make the most of your home culture. If nothing else, he'll end up with some good stories to tell!
He is definitely not homophobic so I am not worried about that being an issue. When he has been here in the past, for example when hes come over to help with yard work, he wears minimal clothing and is comfortable being shirtless. That gives me hope. This may not even be a big deal I guess I just want to ensure hes not completely freaked out. Haha.You rock it as an uncle! I assume your nephew knows you're gay and married or he wouldn't be living with you. To have a house full of men - clothed or otherwise - is part of the equation. If he id's as gay or bi, your household is likely a natural environment, albeit one in which he may bring down the average age a bit. If he considers himself straight, it might be more challenging for him to navigate. He could face two hurdles: equating nudity with sex and overcoming internalized homophobia. My personal experience with his generation is that the first is a bigger issue than the second. They aren't typically homophobic, but don't want to send the wrong signal that they're naked or get an inevitable erection because they're cruising for sex if they're not. Now that he's an adult, I hope you can explain the ground rules - including that naked men are sexual with healthy boundaries - and he will likely eventually slip off his shorts and make the most of your home culture. If nothing else, he'll end up with some good stories to tell!
Its been a few months now and things are slow moving. Being that it was winter time and chilly there was much more bundling up at home and little outside time. Now that we are heading into spring and warmer temps things will be more relaxed. He almost always stays in a tshirt and pajama pants which Ive found piled on the floor in his room. It seems like thats all he wears so Im thinking losing that outfit will be easy. Once the pool opens Ill invite him to come chill with us in the buff.
The funny thing is he spends most of his time in his room. Hes big into gaming which he does a lot. Im trying to get him comfortable being a part of the entire household and not just his room. Sometimes he brings his girlfriend over so we are going to need to have a talk about what she may or may not see when shes here because I dont plan on censoring.
I think that you have done well in advising him on how to set his expectations for living in your household. He is old enough to remove himself from an uncomfortable (for hm) situation or to relax and join in when he feels comfortable. Things go sideways when there is a lack of open and clear communication from both parties. As long as everyone understands the expectations, everyone can adapt or adjust as necessary.
I think you have handled it well.. wish back in the day I had a cool uncle like you guys I dont make a secret of my nudity however I dont have a problem my betrothed friends always call in advance as I never wear clothes unless I leave my property
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