Being a single man on TN
This topic is inspired by Richie's complaint. Yes, blocking someone because he dared to say hello and welcome is truly excessive but yes dear single guys, you have it tough on TN. Now I wouldn't block anyone for simply saying hello - or would I. There is this guy who regularly sends me a one-word private message: "Welcome". I didn't block him because regularly means every couple of months, but I probably would if it meant every day. Of course I'm not speaking here about Richie specifically but why do you single guys get the cold shoulder and what should you do about it according to this lady?
First, the why: keenness, numbers and heuristics.
You guys are more keen to see us naked than we are to see you. And this is not only cultural but evolutionary. I know, nudity has nothing to do with sex blah, blah, blah. But let's face it, you like nudism also because you get to see those little triangles of flesh which are usually hidden precisely because the are the most sexual, you know... the bits you like most to play with if we get very friendly? And to also show yours (especially the guys in this group). Now I am not saying that we don't like to admire those bits of yours, we do, but a lot less than you think and definitely a lot less than you like to admire ours. Statistically of course.
It all comes down to our different sexual strategies which have marked our evolution, of course. You needed to invest five minutes (that is, if we were lucky!) and 5 ml of sperm, we needed to invest 6 or 7 years in raising the resulting child. So your winning sexual strategy was to inseminate as many of us as possible who diplay features of fertility (aka sexy chicks), ours was to select among you and offer our baby-making machinery to play with only to those who are not only visibly fertile (yes, sexy!) but also resourceful (smart, powerful, influential) and ready to invest time into helping us raising the resulting offspring (nice, loving...). So you only have one criterion to choose us - our looks, while we have developed far more and more sophisticated tastes in men and yes, we are far less interested in your looks than you are in ours.
And a corollary to this is the TN numbers. I would guesstimate that 90% are men, registered as single, couples or ladies. And I would also guess that there are huge chances that when a couple announces "no single men" there is just one person behind that account and that person is a man. There are also solid (albeit smaller) chances that this is also the case for single ladies, although they may as well be fed up with being harassed by indelicate gents or simply are gay (but why would this be a reason, remember, nudism and sex have nothing in common...) and their goal is to see and interact with women... And you know it, scarcity creates value and all...
The third and last reason I see is our propensity for instinctive, inductive reasoning. This is also largely evolutionary and like for the other things culture has mostly amplified it. When a homo sapies woman escaped the attack to a saber-toothed tiger she didn't go around to test 100 other such tigers to draw statistically sound conclusions about how aggressive they actually were. She just concluded saber-tooth tigers have bad manners period. This is the emotional, instinctive but fast reasoning called System 1 by my beloved Kahnemann, in his book "Thinking, fast and slow". If you haven't read it yet, you are wrong, it is a first step to understand why intelligent people believe in stupid things. Kahnemann and Tversky are two Israeli psychologists who got the Nobel prize for economy even though they knew nothing about it, simply for demonstrating that homo economicus, so adored by liberal (or libertarian, in US vocabulary) economists, who always make rational decisions, is a myth.
We all like and use stereotypes. Blonde women are stupid and easy, the Roma/gypsies are good musicians and pickpockets, Palestinians are violent and uneducated, the Israeli lobby controls the media and US politics, Russians are rude and mean, Ukrainians are nationalist and violent, Chinese are industrious and don't respect copyrights, Americans know nothing about geography and speak loudly, French are coward and beat around the bush trying to sound smart... It doesn't mean that all these stereotypes are statistically wrong - most are not. From the most obvious (yes, the Israeli lobby - not necessarily Jewish by the way- does control US politics, as Mearsheimer proved in the book for which he was banned from all mainstream media outlets and most universities) to the less obvious: blondes are stupid and easy. Are we more stupid and sexual than our brunette friends? No idea. Maybe, racism helping, guys like light-skinned ladies more so blonde girls pass school exams easier because of the "hallo effect" and don't learn as hard as the other; yes, I could have saved hundreds of hours of hard studying by simply pleasing a few professors but I guess I'm not a good enough blonde. Maybe they just like to play Marylin - show me a good-looking blonde woman who says that she has never played that "silly blonde who doesn't even know how sweet and sexy she is" game and I'll show you a liar.
The problem arises when we apply these (possibly statistically correct) stereotypes to individuals and may wrong them. Maybe I'm not as silly as they say, maybe Richie is not an ogler.... So single guys yes, you are guilty by association, you are stereotyped and such is life. I also discriminate against single guys, I raise the bar higher for them, I don't accept them based on simply Hi's. What would happen if you approached me on a nudist beach with a Hi? Nothing, I'd look through you as if you were transparent even if you are the sexiest or the last man on the planet. Why would it be different online? Sure, I won't block you (although I am sometimes tempted...) but the chances that I would make you coffee in the morning are less than one in a billion. And, in your turn, maybe many of you think that I am silly, superficial and hypersexual.
What can you do? Don't take it to heart and try harder. Like their pics and send them a personalised message. More than five words and not a generic message which you copy-paste to all good-looking ladies, single or in a couple, like "Hi, I'm X, nudist for 20 years, I like your profile and I hope you'll accept my friendship request". Make it personal. Make it feel like she is important, not just a vagina owner. But I won't delve into that, this post is already too long and I must have covered this in another topic in a previous iteration of this group.
And anyway, if a couple blocks you for saying Welcome there are 99% chances that being that account there is actually a guy posing as a couple and he is on TN for all the wrong reasons.
Wow, thats the problem with working on the house all the time. Oh and the news is all about the presidents of the United States. And their policies !
Not to mention, the news on the American channels never tells the truth about what is going on in the world. What we get is always a lie or a show never the truth. Ive even listened to Arabic news channel. Id like the idea of a different twist to the news.
This topic is inspired by Richie's complaint. Yes, blocking someone because he dared to say hello and welcome is truly excessive but yes dear single guys, you have it tough on TN. Now I wouldn't block anyone for simply saying hello - or would I. There is this guy who regularly sends me a one-word private message: "Welcome". I didn't block him because regularly means every couple of months, but I probably would if it meant every day. Of course I'm not speaking here about Richie specifically but why do you single guys get the cold shoulder and what should you do about it according to this lady?First, the why: keenness, numbers and heuristics.You guys are more keen to see us naked than we are to see you. And this is not only cultural but evolutionary. I know, nudity has nothing to do with sex blah, blah, blah. But let's face it, you like nudism also because you get to see those little triangles of flesh which are usually hidden precisely because the are the most sexual, you know... the bits you like most to play with if we get very friendly? And to also show yours (especially the guys in this group). Now I am not saying that we don't like to admire those bits of yours, we do, but a lot less than you think and definitely a lot less than you like to admire ours. Statistically of course.It all comes down to our different sexual strategies which have marked our evolution, of course. You needed to invest five minutes (that is, if we were lucky!) and 5 ml of sperm, we needed to invest 6 or 7 years in raising the resulting child. So your winning sexual strategy was to inseminate as many of us as possible who diplay features of fertility (aka sexy chicks), ours was to select among you and offer our baby-making machinery to play with only to those who are not only visibly fertile (yes, sexy!) but also resourceful (smart, powerful, influential) and ready to invest time into helping us raising the resulting offspring (nice, loving...). So you only have one criterion to choose us - our looks, while we have developed far more and more sophisticated tastes in men and yes, we are far less interested in your looks than you are in ours.And a corollary to this is the TN numbers. I would guesstimate that 90% are men, registered as single, couples or ladies. And I would also guess that there are huge chances that when a couple announces "no single men" there is just one person behind that account and that person is a man. There are also solid (albeit smaller) chances that this is also the case for single ladies, although they may as well be fed up with being harassed by indelicate gents or simply are gay (but why would this be a reason, remember, nudism and sex have nothing in common...) and their goal is to see and interact with women... And you know it, scarcity creates value and all...The third and last reason I see is our propensity for instinctive, inductive reasoning. This is also largely evolutionary and like for the other things culture has mostly amplified it. When a homo sapies woman escaped the attack to a saber-toothed tiger she didn't go around to test 100 other such tigers to draw statistically sound conclusions about how aggressive they actually were. She just concluded saber-tooth tigers have bad manners period. This is the emotional, instinctive but fast reasoning called System 1 by my beloved Kahnemann, in his book "Thinking, fast and slow". If you haven't read it yet, you are wrong, it is a first step to understand why intelligent people believe in stupid things. Kahnemann and Tversky are two Israeli psychologists who got the Nobel prize for economy even though they knew nothing about it, simply for demonstrating that homo economicus, so adored by liberal (or libertarian, in US vocabulary) economists, who always make rational decisions, is a myth.We all like and use stereotypes. Blonde women are stupid and easy, the Roma/gypsies are good musicians and pickpockets, Palestinians are violent and uneducated, the Israeli lobby controls the media and US politics, Russians are rude and mean, Ukrainians are nationalist and violent, Chinese are industrious and don't respect copyrights, Americans know nothing about geography and speak loudly, French are coward and beat around the bush trying to sound smart... It doesn't mean that all these stereotypes are statistically wrong - most are not. From the most obvious (yes, the Israeli lobby - not necessarily Jewish by the way- does control US politics, as Mearsheimer proved in the book for which he was banned from all mainstream media outlets and most universities) to the less obvious: blondes are stupid and easy. Are we more stupid and sexual than our brunette friends? No idea. Maybe, racism helping, guys like light-skinned ladies more so blonde girls pass school exams easier because of the "hallo effect" and don't learn as hard as the other; yes, I could have saved hundreds of hours of hard studying by simply pleasing a few professors but I guess I'm not a good enough blonde. Maybe they just like to play Marylin - show me a good-looking blonde woman who says that she has never played that "silly blonde who doesn't even know how sweet and sexy she is" game and I'll show you a liar.The problem arises when we apply these (possibly statistically correct) stereotypes to individuals and may wrong them. Maybe I'm not as silly as they say, maybe Richie is not an ogler.... So single guys yes, you are guilty by association, you are stereotyped and such is life. I also discriminate against single guys, I raise the bar higher for them, I don't accept them based on simply Hi's. What would happen if you approached me on a nudist beach with a Hi? Nothing, I'd look through you as if you were transparent even if you are the sexiest or the last man on the planet. Why would it be different online? Sure, I won't block you (although I am sometimes tempted...) but the chances that I would make you coffee in the morning are less than one in a billion. And, in your turn, maybe many of you think that I am silly, superficial and hypersexual.What can you do? Don't take it to heart and try harder. Like their pics and send them a personalised message. More than five words and not a generic message which you copy-paste to all good-looking ladies, single or in a couple, like "Hi, I'm X, nudist for 20 years, I like your profile and I hope you'll accept my friendship request". Make it personal. Make it feel like she is important, not just a vagina owner. But I won't delve into that, this post is already too long and I must have covered this in another topic in a previous iteration of this group.And anyway, if a couple blocks you for saying Welcome there are 99% chances that being that account there is actually a guy posing as a couple and he is on TN for all the wrong reasons.
Thanks Flora, I think you're right and a lot of couple saying "no single guys" are just single guys themselves, but they seem to sucker other couples into thinking they're a couple... oddly, comically... the couples friendly each other are probably just two sickle guys anyway, statistically! Suckers!
Personally I'm happy to friend men, women, couples, bi, gay, just curious or undersideds, I'm trying to connect to a person, with our without wit and intelligence, though with is a bonus... you can enrich your own life through connections to all sorts of people.
I'll not take a block to heart, just feel it rather unsocial on a social network.
Rx
This topic is inspired by Richie's complaint. Yes, blocking someone because he dared to say hello and welcome is truly excessive but yes dear single guys, you have it tough on TN. Now I wouldn't block anyone for simply saying hello - or would I. There is this guy who regularly sends me a one-word private message: "Welcome". I didn't block him because regularly means every couple of months, but I probably would if it meant every day. Of course I'm not speaking here about Richie specifically but why do you single guys get the cold shoulder and what should you do about it according to this lady?First, the why: keenness, numbers and heuristics.You guys are more keen to see us naked than we are to see you. And this is not only cultural but evolutionary. I know, nudity has nothing to do with sex blah, blah, blah. But let's face it, you like nudism also because you get to see those little triangles of flesh which are usually hidden precisely because the are the most sexual, you know... the bits you like most to play with if we get very friendly? And to also show yours (especially the guys in this group). Now I am not saying that we don't like to admire those bits of yours, we do, but a lot less than you think and definitely a lot less than you like to admire ours. Statistically of course.It all comes down to our different sexual strategies which have marked our evolution, of course. You needed to invest five minutes (that is, if we were lucky!) and 5 ml of sperm, we needed to invest 6 or 7 years in raising the resulting child. So your winning sexual strategy was to inseminate as many of us as possible who diplay features of fertility (aka sexy chicks), ours was to select among you and offer our baby-making machinery to play with only to those who are not only visibly fertile (yes, sexy!) but also resourceful (smart, powerful, influential) and ready to invest time into helping us raising the resulting offspring (nice, loving...). So you only have one criterion to choose us - our looks, while we have developed far more and more sophisticated tastes in men and yes, we are far less interested in your looks than you are in ours.And a corollary to this is the TN numbers. I would guesstimate that 90% are men, registered as single, couples or ladies. And I would also guess that there are huge chances that when a couple announces "no single men" there is just one person behind that account and that person is a man. There are also solid (albeit smaller) chances that this is also the case for single ladies, although they may as well be fed up with being harassed by indelicate gents or simply are gay (but why would this be a reason, remember, nudism and sex have nothing in common...) and their goal is to see and interact with women... And you know it, scarcity creates value and all...The third and last reason I see is our propensity for instinctive, inductive reasoning. This is also largely evolutionary and like for the other things culture has mostly amplified it. When a homo sapies woman escaped the attack to a saber-toothed tiger she didn't go around to test 100 other such tigers to draw statistically sound conclusions about how aggressive they actually were. She just concluded saber-tooth tigers have bad manners period. This is the emotional, instinctive but fast reasoning called System 1 by my beloved Kahnemann, in his book "Thinking, fast and slow". If you haven't read it yet, you are wrong, it is a first step to understand why intelligent people believe in stupid things. Kahnemann and Tversky are two Israeli psychologists who got the Nobel prize for economy even though they knew nothing about it, simply for demonstrating that homo economicus, so adored by liberal (or libertarian, in US vocabulary) economists, who always make rational decisions, is a myth.We all like and use stereotypes. Blonde women are stupid and easy, the Roma/gypsies are good musicians and pickpockets, Palestinians are violent and uneducated, the Israeli lobby controls the media and US politics, Russians are rude and mean, Ukrainians are nationalist and violent, Chinese are industrious and don't respect copyrights, Americans know nothing about geography and speak loudly, French are coward and beat around the bush trying to sound smart... It doesn't mean that all these stereotypes are statistically wrong - most are not. From the most obvious (yes, the Israeli lobby - not necessarily Jewish by the way- does control US politics, as Mearsheimer proved in the book for which he was banned from all mainstream media outlets and most universities) to the less obvious: blondes are stupid and easy. Are we more stupid and sexual than our brunette friends? No idea. Maybe, racism helping, guys like light-skinned ladies more so blonde girls pass school exams easier because of the "hallo effect" and don't learn as hard as the other; yes, I could have saved hundreds of hours of hard studying by simply pleasing a few professors but I guess I'm not a good enough blonde. Maybe they just like to play Marylin - show me a good-looking blonde woman who says that she has never played that "silly blonde who doesn't even know how sweet and sexy she is" game and I'll show you a liar.The problem arises when we apply these (possibly statistically correct) stereotypes to individuals and may wrong them. Maybe I'm not as silly as they say, maybe Richie is not an ogler.... So single guys yes, you are guilty by association, you are stereotyped and such is life. I also discriminate against single guys, I raise the bar higher for them, I don't accept them based on simply Hi's. What would happen if you approached me on a nudist beach with a Hi? Nothing, I'd look through you as if you were transparent even if you are the sexiest or the last man on the planet. Why would it be different online? Sure, I won't block you (although I am sometimes tempted...) but the chances that I would make you coffee in the morning are less than one in a billion. And, in your turn, maybe many of you think that I am silly, superficial and hypersexual.What can you do? Don't take it to heart and try harder. Like their pics and send them a personalised message. More than five words and not a generic message which you copy-paste to all good-looking ladies, single or in a couple, like "Hi, I'm X, nudist for 20 years, I like your profile and I hope you'll accept my friendship request". Make it personal. Make it feel like she is important, not just a vagina owner. But I won't delve into that, this post is already too long and I must have covered this in another topic in a previous iteration of this group.And anyway, if a couple blocks you for saying Welcome there are 99% chances that being that account there is actually a guy posing as a couple and he is on TN for all the wrong reasons.
You know what irked me most... they didn't even look at my profile first... just block... nice,
I believe you are referencing some of our base membership here on TN. Those folks are just looking for nude pictures for their jollies and are incapable of getting past the primer reading & comprehension level. They exposed themselves for what they are with their actions and probably saved you trouble in the future. It may be annoying but youre money ahead in the long run. And, as a wise friend once told me, *Dont sweat the small stuff* & that attitude is indeed the small stuff. Press on good Richie.
I believe you are referencing some of our base membership here on TN. Those folks are just looking for nude pictures for their jollies and are incapable of getting past the primer reading & comprehension level. They exposed themselves for what they are with their actions and probably saved you trouble in the future. It may be annoying but youre money ahead in the long run. And, as a wise friend once told me, *Dont sweat the small stuff* & that attitude is indeed the small stuff. Press on good Richie.
Thanks John, won't sweat the small stuff, sharing the experience as much as anything... merry Christmas.. R
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