Shopping in the nude

I don't shop in the nude. I don't, it's my general rule.

But I suspect that you are more interested in exceptions than in general rules. So here they are.

But first, as an introduction, I remember that there was a TV show (Dutch I think) where supermarket customers were offered to shop all they can in 30 minutes in the nude and they would pay nothing for it. It was of course in a grocery store, not an electronic or jewells one. And many did. Of course, they were Dutch and like Germans they have coed nude saunas so most are not too shy. Would I do it? I don't mind about being seen nude in a sauna or on a beach but no, I don't take my kit off for a couple hundred euros to be nude on TV for entertaining. Maybe, as a dare, if I had the guarantee that I don't finish the day in prison and I have control on any pic or video taken. But still no... I don't like to shock and offend people so I don't do nudism where nudism is not to be expected. Would you do it? Why do I believe that most of you would just love to?

I told the story of my first evening in Cap, when D took me to a sex shop and asked me to try out a sexy outfit. Everyone is dressed up in Cap in the evening and most shops have no fitting cabins so I modestly withdrew in a corner to take my dress off (of course, I wasn't wearing anything under) before turning around and realising that the wall was in fact in glass, overlooking a full restaurant terrace just a few meters away and the patrons were admiring the view. I decided to get out of my embarrassment by accepting to try out and catwalk all those outrageous things the very keen attendant was pushing to me. It must have been at least a half an hour show, I'm sure most patrons believed I was a model paid by the shop owner. By the end of the show I had put on the shop was full and I got lots of applauses (even, if I can modestly say it, a standing ovation from some guys on the terrace).

Of course, during the day being naked in Cap is not a big issue, although most people do cover a bit. And most, if not all those who go around fully naked are guys. OK, there are ladies for whom covering means some mesh which ends above the hips but leaves the view open to their intimate piercings, but that is part of Cap's charm.

So yes, I did try out a few more things in a couple of shops but that was during daytime so less sensitive. And I was already used to Cap by then. I also told the story of the guy who basically tried out all cock rings in the shop, with the (verbal) help from the female attendant and while I was trying out some very see-through beach stuff. And for some reason he left with a ring which I thought would prove to be slightly too big for him 99% of the time...

Also in Cap, for some reason D insisted that I should be the one who brings fresh coffee and croissants from the coffee shop in the morning, as it would be better than the one produced by the Nespresso machine usually provided in rentals. And he also insisted that, this being Cap, I had to do it wearing only a hat with a credit card in its band, sunglasses and platform flip-flops (not excessively high, say around 7-8 cm). It was not far from where we lived, say 3-400m away, so not a big issue. But as half of Cap wakes up after 9.30, there was always a big (outdoors) line for coffee. And I was always -and I mean always- the only nude woman in that line. There was sometimes the occasionally naked guy but for some reason he always seemed to attract less attention than me.

Because yes, as the only naked woman I did attract attention. Did I like it? Actually no, it was a bit uncomfortable. But as a very tall woman I am used to attracting attention since I was about 12 or 13. Of course, being naked makes you feel a bit more vulnerable but it was my right to be nude, they would see me nude on the beach in an hour or two anyway and I liked D's smile when he saw me bringing him fresh coffee and croissants while wearing only hat, shades and shoes.

Did guys hit on me? Very rarely and nicely, just small talk, and then sometimes words like "private party" or "Glamour" (largest swimgers' club) would be pronounced... There are many swinger couples in Cap and it's usually the woman who does the approach so yes, I was hit on quite often by ladies but relatively rarely by gents. In fact I believe that I am more likely to be hit on by guys in a textile bar Where I'm enjoying a coffee than when naked in Cap... Of course when visiting a club like Glamour I seemed to be quite popular.

And as the coffee shop was right near the (big) grocery store, I would almost always stop by first to buy some fruit, cheese and crackers for an evening apero. And of course the daily bottle of wine. Now stripping in a sex shop with no fitting cabins is a necessity and waiting in line for coffee in full sun and wearing only a hat and perfume is a mixed experience, but I am not a big fan of nude grocery shopping. First, it is always air conditioned and I don't like AC, I avoid it as much as I can. I was always cold in that shop. Second, I was a bit too self aware of the fact that, because of the cold, my nipples were rock-hard and attracted even more attention than the natural fact of being the only naked woman in a grocery store would usually do. Because yes, here too I was always the only naked woman. Third and most importantly, on the contrary, men seem to love to do grocery shopping in the nude. And here is the thing, for them both apples on the shelf and family jewels are exactly at hand's reach and at the same hight. And as we all know, when men have to make a really difficult existential decision they absolutely need to scratch their head when dressed and a lower, more readily accessible part when naked. Not their fault I guess. Those balls are just there, at hand level... So there would be a repeated alternative squeezing of apples to test for freshness and scratching of hanging jewels to help with the difficult decision-making process. Possibly also sometimes some direct apple-jewels contacts.

Now I am a bit excessive in my higiene and cleanliness habits but I don't necessarily believe that men's family jewels harbour some particularly nasty, potentially deadly germ. Still, dear Sirs, I don't want to be excessively difficult but if I am to taste yours I'd rather if we at least said hello first.

So I always felt the need to try to reach for the furthest apples on the shelf, with the risk of touching my own usually covered parts to the first row - and not because I don't trust typical guys' hygiene and showering habits, but because as said I am a bit manic with cleanliness. Hence, for me, grocery shopping in the nude is a bit of a mixed bag.

In Koversada, I was naked all the time except for shopping, as shopping in the nude was forbidden in the grocery store. So I would wrap a sarong around my chest or at least around my hips - and nobody complained about my occasionally being topless there. But there was also this enclosure (inside-outside) with fresh fruit sold by a local farmer and his son, both fully dressed. Most would follow the grocery shop rule and cover themselves. I didn't feel the need to do so, there was nothing written about the dress code at the entrance and the shop owner didn't seem to mind my nudity. On the contrary, he was very nice to me, always showing me around, recommending the freshest fruit, offering me a discount and a couple of extra fruits. Iurss Croatian guys are just very hospitable and nice to visitors.

But I guess I shouldn't finish this post before mentioning also the non-nude nude shopping. I said once that I like to play Pretty Woman for D but he doesn't much like shopping. I mentioned the time when I took time to try out lots of outfits on bare skin and leaving the curtain just a bit open for him to watch my antics. Just to realise later on that he had left before I had started to strip and I was offering the show to another random man who was likely in that shop to buy a pair of socks...

I also mentioned that I don't wear any underwear during the months of July and August unless I exceptionally have to. Definitely not during holidays, but usually not even at work as we have no official meetings during that time. And also not when shopping for groceries. It's usually a light summer dress, quite comfy, kept in place by a small belt and long almost to the knees, so nothing particularly provocative there, maybe just a bit loose and open at the top and sleeveless, so showing a bit of extra skin but not a whole lot. Yes, you can tell that I am braless because these shops are air conditioned and my nipples react to it but you can't say that I am pantiless too.

Except for accidents. Most happen when entering and exiting the store because the cold air inside has a tendency to go out and up to replace the lighter hot air outside. Of course, I know this from experience so I normally try to keep my dress close to my body but there may be cases, such as when I need both arms to carry heavy bags, when this is not possible so a few persons may note for a few seconds whether I am fully shaved or sporting a landing strip and, if this happens after the holidays, that I have no tan lines down there. But there is nothing to shock or disturb, this is how women are made and I'm not doing it on purpose, I never had bad words, just smiles or laughs for the mishap. I told the story of the one situation where I was squeezing groceries on my chest and the lower part of my light skirt decided to not get down until I sat my groceries on the ground and lower it manually. Also that time when I had my hands full on the bike (accidents do happen on the bike when all you are wearing is a light summer dress) and had a hard time fighting the wind so I pretty much flashed everyone on the road for a few long minutes.

During summertime, almost whenever I am shopping alone, which is basically all the time, there is some guy - sometimes two of them- who is following me through the aisles, waiting for me to bend over for some pack of something. As said my dresses are not excessively short so I don't think that they see more than my legs when I bend over (although I have never actually checked) but they are a bit open in front so yes, there will be moments when they see more skin than planned, possibly everything down to my waist. Sleeveless and light means als that side openings are relatively generous and may show some side boob, very occasionally some nipple too. But I'm there to shop, can't keep my elbows glued to my ribs in panic that I may flash a nipple or two. It's a bit annoying but I usually pretend not to notice them, continue with my usual shopping, let them enjoy the sight of whatever they occasionally catch and I don't get nasty with them - unless they actually try to hit on me or make unpleasant remarks. But honestly isn't it crazy for a guy to waste an hour or two following me just to see a nipple or two a couple of times?

So here it is, my experience of nude shopping. I think I covered all, or at least most of it. What's yours?

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