Sun-bathing naked in the presence of a family member
My 53-year-old son has recently come to live with me. He is terminally ill, but that does not necessarily mean he will not outlive me. It is not his choice to live with me, but he has no other base in the UK. I previously lived alone and was accustomed to being naked when temperatures permitted.
He has once seen me move from the bathroom to my bedroom while getting up in a morning. He averted his eyes, because I was naked (I possess neither pyjamas nor dressing gown, and previously felt no need for them). Yesterday, I had some free time in the afternoon and the sun was shining. I had to decide whether to sunbathe as usual (naked), despite his presence in the house, or to ask his permission or to refrain. I suppose I could have compromised by wearing shorts, but I think he would have been equally offended by my being topless. I decided to sunbathe. Our paths crossed in the kitchen 2 or 3 times. He averted his eyes and grimaced, but did not say anything. I think he finds the sight of a naked overweight old man to be repulsive, but he has not said so.
I think I am within my rights to be naked in my own house, but I am aware that I would have probably taken a different attitude if he had been female.
I wonder what other naturists think about this dilemma?
My 53-year-old son has recently come to live with me. He is terminally ill, but that does not necessarily mean he will not outlive me. It is not his choice to live with me, but he has no other base in the UK. I previously lived alone and was accustomed to being naked when temperatures permitted.He has once seen me move from the bathroom to my bedroom while getting up in a morning. He averted his eyes, because I was naked (I possess neither pyjamas nor dressing gown, and previously felt no need for them). Yesterday, I had some free time in the afternoon and the sun was shining. I had to decide whether to sunbathe as usual (naked), despite his presence in the house, or to ask his permission or to refrain. I suppose I could have compromised by wearing shorts, but I think he would have been equally offended by my being topless. I decided to sunbathe. Our paths crossed in the kitchen 2 or 3 times. He averted his eyes and grimaced, but did not say anything. I think he finds the sight of a naked overweight old man to be repulsive, but he has not said so.I think I am within my rights to be naked in my own house, but I am aware that I would have probably taken a different attitude if he had been female.I wonder what other naturists think about this dilemma?
Our adult son lives with us. I regularly sunbathe nude when he is at home. He is rarely in the back yard so he doesn't see me. I wear shorts or at least have a towel around my waist when I expect him to be in a room with us, but there are chance encounters when I am nude, I don't wear a shirt at home in warm weather unless we have special company or a planned business interaction. I am usually shirtless in front of delivery people, tradesmen, frequent visitors, etc, and certainly our son, He rarely wears a shirt at home in warm weather either and is more overweight than I am.
Our grandson is here a lot in the summer. I do try to have shorts or a swimsuit on when he is around, but if he barges into our bedroom, bathroom, or the basement or my study, he may catch me nude.
My 53-year-old son has recently come to live with me. He is terminally ill, but that does not necessarily mean he will not outlive me. It is not his choice to live with me, but he has no other base in the UK. I previously lived alone and was accustomed to being naked when temperatures permitted.He has once seen me move from the bathroom to my bedroom while getting up in a morning. He averted his eyes, because I was naked (I possess neither pyjamas nor dressing gown, and previously felt no need for them). Yesterday, I had some free time in the afternoon and the sun was shining. I had to decide whether to sunbathe as usual (naked), despite his presence in the house, or to ask his permission or to refrain. I suppose I could have compromised by wearing shorts, but I think he would have been equally offended by my being topless. I decided to sunbathe. Our paths crossed in the kitchen 2 or 3 times. He averted his eyes and grimaced, but did not say anything. I think he finds the sight of a naked overweight old man to be repulsive, but he has not said so.I think I am within my rights to be naked in my own house, but I am aware that I would have probably taken a different attitude if he had been female.I wonder what other naturists think about this dilemma?Our adult son lives with us. I regularly sunbathe nude when he is at home. He is rarely in the back yard so he doesn't see me. I wear shorts or at least have a towel around my waist when I expect him to be in a room with us, but there are chance encounters when I am nude, I don't wear a shirt at home in warm weather unless we have special company or a planned business interaction. I am usually shirtless in front of delivery people, tradesmen, frequent visitors, etc, and certainly our son, He rarely wears a shirt at home in warm weather either and is more overweight than I am.Our grandson is here a lot in the summer. I do try to have shorts or a swimsuit on when he is around, but if he barges into our bedroom, bathroom, or the basement or my study, he may catch me nude.
I forgot to mention that when only my wife and I are home in warm weather, I rarely wear anything, It has gotten to the point where if I am wearing anything at home, she will ask me if I am planning to go somewhere soon.
My 53-year-old son has recently come to live with me. He is terminally ill, but that does not necessarily mean he will not outlive me. It is not his choice to live with me, but he has no other base in the UK. I previously lived alone and was accustomed to being naked when temperatures permitted. . . .. . . I think I am within my rights to be naked in my own house, but I am aware that I would have probably taken a different attitude if he had been female.I wonder what other naturists think about this dilemma?
I'm sorry that your boy is in the situation where he is in bad shape and also not able to make his own living arrangement choices. He's lucky to have a dad who is still around and able to help him out, so it seems appropriate that he wouldn't complain much or at all about your choice to be natural around your own home. Some kids would still complain - I think that tells us you raised him up right, to be respectful of his elders.
The point of how it may have been different if you'd had a female instead of a male child doesn't seem to me to be overly pertinent here, especially if you had raised them from birth as a nudist - something not too likely depending on the family dynamic. With a man your age that is very unlikely, being from the forties when nudism was essentially non-existent (though maybe more tolerated in the UK than my country), and that's too bad because of how naturally children want to be nude with the good weather (another thing the UK doesn't have in abundance, so I hear). Girl or guy, being raised nude would make this new chapter in your lives so much easier. If your baby had instead been a girl, the hang up with being around her nude at the stage in her later life is really your personal issue, not hers, as long as you can still discuss touchy subjects. Clothes are an unnatural addition, and there are many more important subjects to be dealt with concerning your child right now than them.
It might do you both a lot of good to quit having these momentary bare interactions, Colin. He's uncomfortable seeing you; his averting eyes say so much. So rather than making him any more uncomfortable, something better for him - and he's dealing with so much right now - would be to sit down and have a frank discussion with him, ask him if he feels like your nudism is confronting his sensibilities enough that his stress levels are actually worsening his condition.
I have no blood-related children, so I cannot speak from personal knowledge, but I feel as though his comfort in these waning moments of life are more important than what comfort you get from being bare at home. With the lifting of the veil from the topic of clothing choice around the home, it could be you have a chance to bond with him in a new way, something that may help him stick around a little longer, or at the very least, deepen the love that may be allowed to grow between you at this late a stage to become the most wonderful gift you can give him now. With the clearing of the air surrounding your choice of dress could come a new connection, maybe even a chance to invite him to disrobe. It is never too early or too late to become a nudist.
Take care of yourself and thank you for being the best dad you can be.
Single here and no kids. But still have an opinion. I am sorry that your son is ill and may be near the end of his life. You are a generous and wise father to allow him to move back in with you. But it is your home and you should be able to be comfortable
around your own home. There is nothing wrong and anyone seeing another person in the buff. NO real harm has every come of it.
If your son is ill he may end up at a stage where you may need to bathe him or even help him go to the bathroom. Establishing a comfort level of male nudity now would be a good thing.
I totally agree with wildwilly1 on what he wrote. Although, I already expected that most of the comments will be "your house, your rules". The truth is, it is your house and it should be your rules. I'm sorry to hear about your son's ill condition at this time and you are generous enough to give him a shelter at this time of his life. Who wouldn't? I think every parents will do the same thing but that doesn't mean that you have to sacrifice a lot of things because first of all, you already sacrificed your privacy. Sitting down with him and telling him straight up that there are times that he will see you sunbathing naked because this is what you do on your free time and when the weather permits so he will have to deal with that. He is 53 and adult so I am sure he will understand. It's just a matter of holding your grounds. I don't have children myself so I don't have the same predicament like you. But I do own my own house and I have a backyard that is semi private from the prying eyes of the neighbors if they will decide to put their noses to my backyard. For me, It is backyard and I can do whatever I want to do. It will be their own fault if they decide to snoop around when I am sunbathing naked in my backyard. It will be their problem not mine.
Anyway, I hope that you will be able to sit down with him and talk things out. Goodluck.
for the first of all you must be proud of yourself for helping your child to try to move forward despite the illness so I think I speak on behalf of everyone when I say thank you for what you do then I want to answer you In a normal way as if your child's illness doesn't exist 'if nothing comes in but he needs to be there with you for reasons other than illness:
I grew up with my uncles because I had family problems, often at my aunt and uncle's house they went without clothes especially in the summer as did their son, my cousin who is about 5 years younger than me, at at the time of the facts when I lived with them for more than a year I was around 18 years old and I didn't feel uncomfortable, in fact every now and then I even undressed, so everyone must respect the rules where they live, certainly a couple of times at the beginning it happened that maybe when I was naked I had an erection but I think it's a normal thing and it went away immediately afterwards, Or I locked myself in the bathroom for a moment and did it alone [laughter] but life went on well and they respected me so I think that there is no problem, maybe try talking to him and tell him that in any case you are helping him, it's your home
hug
There is a lot of compassion, good heart and understanding in this thread, from the poster on down. This is the nudist community at its best! Unless your son has had limited interaction with you, I doubt he can consider you with the attitude that "the sight of a naked overweight old man to be repulsive." I imagine it's more likely he's grieving his illness and his life, what was and hasn't been, more than any reaction to you. Nor is it easy for you taking in your son with a terminal illness, even if it's not immediately life-threatening.
I also encourage you to sit down and talk with him about the big picture of you living together. I imagine you are retired and your son is young and healthy enough to still be either working or wanting to be out and about. It doesn't sound like he needs a caretaker, but may be facing more financial difficulties related to his illness. Averting his eyes may be the tip of the iceberg in how he's coping with his personal life situation, and it may be a wonderful opening to discussing self-care and the goal of living with terminal illness as comfortabley as possible. I personally would prioritize my son feeling confident enough to sunbathe naked in his total privacy as he wishes for the sun's healing strength. Both you and the sun are the gift, and I wish your son the blessings to appreciate both.
There is a lot of compassion, good heart and understanding in this thread, from the poster on down. This is the nudist community at its best! Unless your son has had limited interaction with you, I doubt he can consider you with the attitude that "the sight of a naked overweight old man to be repulsive." I imagine it's more likely he's grieving his illness and his life, what was and hasn't been, more than any reaction to you. Nor is it easy for you taking in your son with a terminal illness, even if it's not immediately life-threatening.
I also encourage you to sit down and talk with him about the big picture of you living together. I imagine you are retired and your son is young and healthy enough to still be either working or wanting to be out and about. It doesn't sound like he needs a caretaker, but may be facing more financial difficulties related to his illness. Averting his eyes may be the tip of the iceberg in how he's coping with his personal life situation, and it may be a wonderful opening to discussing self-care and the goal of living with terminal illness as comfortabley as possible. I personally would prioritize my son feeling confident enough to sunbathe naked in his total privacy as he wishes for the sun's healing strength. Both you and the sun are the gift, and I wish your son the blessings to appreciate both.
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