Nudist discussions with the wife
My wife and I have had numerous discussions about nudism over the years, as she's very open to talking - a lot - about her feelings (all of them...).
What's been interesting for me as a man and husband has been getting a little more than a glimpse into the mind of a nudist woman. I thought it might be informative, perhaps even conducive to conversation, to cover some of them here. I would add, of course, that some of her views are very much her own individual ones; although a few have also been expressed and corroborated by many other women we've met over the years, at different venues... so there's that.
The first time. She's stated that the C/O nudist resort has been the best "first time." When I asked if there was something she would have done differently, her answer surprised me a bit. "I would have gotten naked right away." And it only took her an hour! When a friend considers nudism and asks her, she will also recommend getting naked right away. Her reasoning is "waiting for the right moment" can lead to too much anxiety and hesitation. And there is really no such thing as "the right moment." Best to rip off the band-aid right away.
What she enjoys about it. Number one is us spending time together, naked outdoors. She feels it's good for our marriage and our intimacy. Number two is R and R; being able to just relax naked and let her hair down. Number three is sunbathing and her all-over tan. Number four is socializing.
Socializing. That really depends. She wouldn't mind just laying out in the sun all day quietly. But we have friends at the resort, so socializing is inevitable. She enjoys "small circle" conversations with one or two couples; but "big crowds" not so much. That has probably has much to do with her personality type: ambivert. She can be very extroverted around a few select people; but will become shy and introverted in a big group. Nudity does magnify her trait a bit.
Modesty and exposure. Over the years she's narrowed it down to pretty specific boundaries. She realized fairly early on that she couldn't feel "free" in her nudity without being "exposed" at times. For her, it boils down to "distance." If someone is walking or sitting a few yards away and happens to see her "exposed", she doesn't care. But while hanging out in a group with people a few feet away, she's going to be more conscious about people seeing her "all her bits up-close." We have female friends who will sit/recline open-legged and socialize, or "spread" while sitting on the hot-tub ledge; but she feels that for her it's TMI. She recognizes that some women will be more uninhibited that her; while others will be more inhibited. She's comfortable remaining in the "middle of the scale."
Miscellaneous.
Erections: she doesn't care. She says she barely pays attention anyway; but if she does see a gentleman passing by erect, it doesn't phase her. It's about the behavior.
Single men: she doesn't view them as a "threat." She figures they were properly vetted by the resort, and she knows I'm protecting her. She still prefers a prevalence of couples; but if a friendly single guy starts a conversation, she's happy to interact with him and won't get self-conscious unless given a reason to be.
Covering up: her preference is just to stay naked all day. But if people are covered up around her, she will tend to want to grab a cover. The exception is when it's people we know and have been nude around, she will stay naked around them if she doesn't feel cold.
Off the top of my head that's all I can think of right now; and that's a lot lol!
Thank you for taking the time & effort to post such an informative piece. Your explanation will, hopefully, be helpful to some of the more cautious spouses out there that look at the nude couples out there & think, "how did they get up the nerve to do that?" My wife was one that thought she would not go nude in the presence of others but moderated after a couple of years. Our normal routine is / was to go to resort, set up our site and she would slip on a coverup or be nude if in the camper. In our normal activities around the camp, I would be nude & she in the coverup. This was pretty much for all events. Eventually, we made a foray to the lagoon (small, sand pond) where she sat down and removed her coverup, sunned a bit and skinny dipped. She told me that our usual circle of acquaintances at the resort had moved into the 'close friends' category and she felt comfortable nude with them. That has been the extent of our nude exercise and that's fine with me. Maybe, one day, she'll be a little comfortable with more but if not, it's still great. We enjoy ourselves there & that's the real reason for visiting.
Did you have difficulty getting her to try a clothing optional resort? If so, what convinced her to go?
Our wives have a lot of similar feelings about nudism. I'd have to put Di right in there with your wife on just about every category. Great post Nudony.
I'd have to put Di right in there with your wife on just about every category. Great post Nudony.
True. Thanks Andy! And John.Did you have difficulty getting her to try a clothing optional resort? If so, what convinced her to go?
It absolutely was difficult. Especially after going to a nude beach and disliking it. But many conversations convinced her to give nudism a second chance at a nudist resort. But it was supposed to be a "one-time deal", and her stipulations were "no socializing and no pressure to undress."
What happened there is pretty common. She liked the setting and liked the people she met and interacted with. And the fact that most of the women there in her age group showed no inhibition about getting around naked - made an impression on her. Those factors combined led to a "When in Rome..." change of heart about participating. Once she got naked in the pool area...she was done covering up for the rest of the day. And the rest as they say is history.
The one difference with us, and the Nudony's, is that Di enjoyed the beach the first time and most of the time. The clothing optional clubs and resorts were a minor challenge. The intimate setting, less people, closer proximity to others, was a concern for Di. It took her a few visits before she felt at ease and enjoyed herself completely.
At the beach, Di set the perimeters on where we sat and by whom. At first, we sat far enough away from others but not too far away. Subsequent visits we sat closer to a group we'd seen every visit. We began sitting closer because when we sat far away, we'd get a parade of pervs and gawkers going by. We even had some downright rude and tactless guys sitting so close we had to get up and leave that spot. Sitting next to others or this group, gave us strength in numbers.
Our first nude/clothing optional venue was a small hotel of 17 rooms, a pool, hot tub and about 30-34 lounge chairs, two tables and 4 chairs for each table. For Di, it was a little close quarters but she got used to it quickly. She, like Nudony's wife, got to meet and know several other women and couples that she connected with, and this place became our go to place. Later, we'd meet our close circle of nudist friends.
Di and I discuss our nudist lifestyle all the time. As we get older, our life changes in many ways. Travel to other states and countries has become important to us. We still seek out nudist/clothing optional venues when we travel but it isn't the highest priority on our list of things to do. We find that if we do enough research, planning and booking, we can get accommodations that suit our lifestyle when there aren't nudist opportunities available. Air BnB's, VRBO's or hotels with upper floor balconies with outside nudity accessibility.
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