Kerrie, seven if I agreed with the ChatGPT definition (which I don't) this wouldn't answer the question, which is not what sexual activity is but what actual sex is. And my photography dilemma was playing on the distinction/confusion between physicality (penetration) and intentionality (aiming at sexual satisfaction).

Now why don't I agree with that definition? It's "Sexual activity refers to behaviours that people engage in to express sexual feelings and desires". The rest is just an enumeration, neither specific nor necessary in a definition.

First I wouldn't define what is a mere activity by behaviours. Second, more importantly, I don't think we engage in sexual activity just to express something (although this would be very appropriate for my dilemma, where all sexual activity is aimed at expressing desire for the viewer). We often engage in such activity just for pleasure or the expectation of an orgasm or two.

Third, the expression "between individuals" bothers me. Does it mean that solitary masturbation is not sexual activity? It does mention "stimulate oneself" at one point but it seems to refer to it as part of a duo game because it comes back to "between individuals" afterwards. And do we do oral sex only for stimulation or can this be also a very satisfactory way of achieving climax?

So basically, just what you expect from ChatGPT. Something which sounds pompously smart until you start to analyse it.

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Ive been getting a BroZillian wax for years now. My first wax lady was my wifes friend. Second time, the wax hit some nerve endings and boom, quick hard erection. I was embarrassed but she told me it happens all the time, and its easier to wax that way. If it wasnt erect then she has to pull and stretch it out. From that point on Id relax and just let it happen, sometimes it would and sometimes it wouldnt. I didnt care either way. Its a natural body function, happens involuntary and doesnt mean I had sexual relations with her. She had a job to do waxing me. Its all your perspective.

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I suspect that nobody would claim that having an erection during the manipulation of "that" part of your anatomy (be that in a massage, waxing or medical context) means that you had sex with the person who is giving you that service.

I got visibly aroused a couple times in front of a gyno. That was long time ago, I was very young and very shy and we know that the control centers for shiness and arousal are very close to each other on our cortex. Of course, my arousal was not as visible as a guy's but no gyno will ever miss the fact that he can slide his finger inside without any lube or pain. I was mortified and had the impression that time had dilated and I had been under that dreaded pelvic exam for hours. I was so ashamed that both times I changed the doc - I couldn't face them again. And no, that was not sex.

For the others, a couple said that sex is penetration - if I put my lips on a glans penis it's not sex but if I slid them 5 mm up it is. A couple others said that sex is intention - I can do whatever I want with a penis, as long as it's just for the camera with no intention of actual sexual gratification it's not sex. Yet a couple others tried to cheat their way out of the dilemma with the usual trick, enlarging the frame to be all-encompassing and calling everything "sexual activity", without defining actual sex.

Like in all my moral dilemmas, I don't claim to know the "right" answer (I don't think there is one) but just to challenge readers to go granular, there where the yes-no, black-white Manichaeism no longer works because morality, like life itself, is a gradient.

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