You did right. I would never invite anyone to my place that I haven't met and talked to in person first. If he, she, or them has a private profile it tells me they have something to hide or have been hassled by non-nudists. You can always use the flag button. Pivate profiles will be approved on a case-by-case bases.
I recently made a business trip to Kansas, I had never been there before, but as I was there for about 3 weeks I decided to search out other nudists to chat with from the area. I messaged several people to ask questions about the area, and after chatting with one, he suggested that we meet and talk. We met at a local resturant, had a great meal, talked, and went our seperate ways, we continue to chat on here, and it was nice to be able to meet a new person without the automatic assumption that something bad was going to happen. It is important to note that I was more comfortable with the meet idea because he was certified, which at least, to some extent provides me with a sense that at least this is the same person as in the profile. I minor level of comfort but better than none at all. It is unfortunate that society todays makes us have to distrust first, instead of giving someone a chance.
What a great story!
I think you should have a checklist of things you know about someone before meeting anyone. For me it's like this:
1. Communication and Planning: there needs to be some kind of back and forth, and a plan on what we're doing. If we're meeting, are we having lunch? Are we going to the zoo? Are we getting a drink after work? What's our plan? Also, what do you do? I know a lot of nudists and people in general don't like to talk about their real lives, but we're no longer talking about an online connection, we're trying to be friends at this point. Tell me what you do whether you're a student or a gardener or a high powered executive.
2. Some sort of Back-up/Back-out plan. I'm not a gun toter, but if I was I would definitely be considering at least having it in my car when I went to visit. I always wear some kind of firm footwear and I always have some kind of bearings about me when I visit someone. I'm not much of a fighter, but at least I can try to run. Also, as others mentioned, I'd meet in a public space unless I really felt confident in someone being who they said they were. If I could I'd also tell someone my plans for the day and keep a phone on me.
3. A good feeling. At the end of the day, I trust my intuition and my gut. If I don't feel good about a meeting whether it's 5 days or 5 minutes before I'm suppose to go... I don't. If you want to get to know the person better and not straight up be like "I don't feel safe enough yet" then make an excuse. Get called into work or put grandma in the hospital or something, apologize and say you'd still like to get to know the other person better, but don't go if you have foreboding feelings on things.
If those things aren't there, I don't go. When it comes to online interactions especially I just don't go.
And there should never be a reason for a civilian to take a gun with them when they're meeting someone.
I am in absolute 100% agreement ! There *should* not be, ever, and seldom is.I'm not a gun toter, but if I was I would definitely be considering at least having it in my car when I went to visit.
That would be dangerous, and almost silly !
Leaving a gun in your car would more likely have you running in a panic, drawing the weapon, still in a paniced state, and harming someone with no justifyable reason whatever.
If you make it back to the car, you're already out of danger. If you don't, then it was useless to be there anyway, and you've potentially armed a dangerous individual unintentionally.
May I clarify a few things ?
An armed civilian at that camp in Norway the other day, could have *potentially* saved 50 or 60 lives.
The assailant knowing, or strongly suspecting, an armed and capable civilian at that camp could have potentially saved them all !
You'll note that he attacked known unarmed civilians, not a military encampment. Why might that be ?
As it was, he was shooting ducks in a barrel.
Reactionary personalities tend to go for the gun when conversation would be more effective. These types should never be carrying any weapons.
Bravado gets people killed.
Conservative personalities, such as trained military assault teams, tend to show a great deal of restraint. That kind of personality is no danger to anyone of themselves, unless and until the situation calls for it.
Ever notice how you never hear of a Black Belt getting into a fight ?
There's reason.
If ANY of this became at all relevant, avoid the meeting, whatever it takes.
If there's even a suspicion of any of this having any relevance, avoid the meeting.
Who wants "friends" they can't trust ?
Carrying a gun for defense is an American way of thinking, I hope there is less gun crime in the rest of the world where we do not go with that rational.
As for meeting strangers some of us do that daily when we walk into a bar, we are carefull and polite to those we talk to. Meeting another nudist (something I do often as possible) needs a little care and a public place to get to know the other person - Just because we share nudism, we may not like each other.
Carrying a gun for defense is an American way of thinking,
There's something else I ( as an American ) fail to understand.
It only takes about one functional brain cell to realize that a gun is an OFFENSIVE weapon.
A shield is defensive. Hiding behind a rock is defensive. Throwing one's arm to block a punch is defensive.
Throwing the punch is offensive.
While I have reached out to people I've met on here to see about meeting up as I travel, I have not, nor would I propose a meeting with someone that I had never chatted with, gotten to know, and shared plenty about myself with. There are just way too many flakey people out there, and if I were in your position, I'd be very wary about him.......
No, because of how little information is in the profile. Not with a zillion prior contacts. My own profile is pretty informative - what I look like, where I live, what I do for a living, and my first name. I have no reason to seek anonymity. And I simply don't have time for people who try to live split lives, with an internet presence / nudist identity / whatever divorced somehow from their 'real' life. Someone with an upfront, open internet identity is likely to be a safer contact, and a more interesting person. That said, I don't meet anyone - from this site or farm-volunteer sites or any other online venue - without prior TELEPHONE contact. Amazing how the suggestion of a phone call will make some potential contacts just evaporate. Maintaining an unreal persona at the keyboard is one thing; doing it in voice is something very, very different.
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