PART: THE AWAKENING

Ive always known that there was something about me that made me different. Maybe it was my body, maybe it was the way I carried myselfheavier than most, with an air of uncertainty that never quite left me. Growing up, I was always aware of how people looked at me, and even though I tried to hide it, there was always this invisible wall of shame around me. And no matter how hard I tried to fight it, it seemed like I was always going to be the big girl.

College felt like my chance to escape that. A fresh start. A place where I could be whoever I wanted, or at least, thats what I told myself. I spent the first few months hiding, doing my best to blend in with the crowd, keeping my head down, staying away from situations that made me feel exposed.

It wasnt until I met themGrace, Anna, and the othersthat things began to change. They were different from anyone Id ever met. They moved through the world with this effortless confidence, this energy that drew people to them. They were unashamed, unapologetic, and, strangely enough, I found myself drawn to them. There was this rawness about them that I couldnt ignore.

We met through a class, but it wasnt until one evening at a party that things really shifted. Grace was laughing, tossing her head back with abandon, as though the world had no say in who she was. Anna, always quiet but with a knowing look in her eyes, stood by her side, offering quiet support. It was their conversation that got my attention.

I cant wait for the weekend, Grace said, a grin spreading across her face. Were heading to the beach, you know, for the usual. Just the girls, letting go.

I hesitated for a moment, unsure if I heard her right. The beach? What do you mean, the usual?

She winked at me. Oh, you know. Well be naked, Audrey. Just like last time. No walls, no barriers. Free.

At first, it sounded so foreign to me. Naked? In public? The idea sent a wave of discomfort over me. But there was something in her voice, something so confident and so matter-of-fact that I couldnt help but feel a spark of curiosity. Still, the thought of stripping away my clothes and standing exposed in front of them It was terrifying. How could I ever be that free?

Are you in or not? Annas voice broke through my thoughts, soft but firm, as she gave me a gentle smile. She didnt pressure me. She didnt judge. She just understood.

I couldnt stop the wave of doubt from flooding me, but something inside me whispered that this could be the moment of change. The chance to stop hiding. To let go of all the things I thought defined memy size, my insecurities, everything. I had no idea what I was getting into, but there was a pull inside me, urging me forward.

The weekend arrived, and before I knew it, we were standing on the edge of the beach, the cool sand beneath our feet and the distant sound of crashing waves filling the air. I felt out of place, still holding onto my clothes like they were my last line of defense. The girls were already shedding their layers, moving with such ease and confidence that it made me feel like I was standing on the edge of a cliff, about to jump.

Grace turned to me, already barefoot and free, and smiled. You can do this. Its not about being perfect. Its about letting go, Audrey. Youre not the only one here who feels vulnerable. Weve all been there.

I swallowed hard, my stomach in knots. There was a strange warmth in her words, a safety I didnt expect. But even as she spoke, I could feel the weight of my clothes pressing against my skin, the thought of exposing myself completely making my heart race.

I dont know if I can, I admitted, my voice small.

Anna stepped forward then, her hand resting gently on my arm. She was the quieter one, but there was a softness in her touch that made me feel less alone. You dont have to do it all at once. Just take a breath. One step at a time. Were here for you, Audrey. Youre not doing this alone.

I looked at her, and for the first time that day, I felt a little bit of the fear ease up. She wasnt judging me. She wasnt pushing me. She was just there. And for some reason, that felt like enough.

With a deep breath, I slowly began to peel off my clothes, each layer feeling like I was shedding a little more of my old self. I could feel my heart thumping in my chest, but as soon as I stood there, skin bare to the sun and the air, it wasnt quite as terrifying as I thought it would be. It was freeing, yesbut also strange, raw, exposed.

Grace grinned. See? Told you.

But it was Anna who stepped closer to me, her voice gentle yet encouraging. This is just the beginning. Let go of the shame, Audrey. Youve got nothing to hide here. This is who you are.

I smiled nervously, but the more I stood there, the more the world seemed to fade. It wasnt about being perfect. It wasnt about being flawless. It was about being present. About shedding all the weight I had carried for so long.

I walked into the water with them, feeling the cool waves lap against my bare skin, each step feeling like a release. There was something about being there, vulnerable but free, that made me feel like I was reclaiming my power.

And it was then that I realized something: I wasnt just freeing my body. I was freeing my heart, too. And maybe, just maybe, there was more to this than I ever imagined.

My name is Audrey. And this is only the beginning of the journey.

• a month ago

Beautiful. Thanks for this. I'm looking forward to future installments.

• a month ago

How eloquent and beautiful and personal, at the same time, stating what most every new nudist goes through to a degree. Wonderful!

Thank you Audrey, and looking forward to more MORE!

• a month ago

The days after that beach trip were different. For the first time in a long while, I felt like something had shifted in me. It wasnt just about the freedom of being naked or the laughter in the water.. it was something deeper. The way Grace had laughed without a care in the world, and the way Annas touch lingered a little longer than it should have. There was a warmth between us, one that I couldnt quite place but felt undeniably real.

It wasnt until a few days later, when I ran into Anna in the campus library, that things began to feel different.

I was flipping through some notes when I felt someones presence beside me. I didnt need to look up to know who it was. Her scent a mix of sandalwood and something else, something almost intoxicating had a way of announcing her before she ever spoke.

Youre thinking too much, Anna said, her voice low, teasing. She was standing next to me now, leaning casually against the shelf, her arms crossed.

I glanced up, my heart skipping a beat. There was something about the way she looked at me, a quiet intensity that made my pulse race. What do you mean? I asked, trying to sound nonchalant but failing.

About the beach, she said, her lips curling into a soft smile. You keep overthinking it. You did great. You let go. But I think theres something more youre holding back.

I didnt know how to respond to that. Was she right? Had I held back? I thought Id done it all, stripped away my old self, but the way Anna was looking at me it made me question everything.

You know, she continued, her voice dropping a little lower, theres something freeing about being completely exposed. Not just physically, but emotionally, mentally You dont have to carry all that weight, Audrey. Not with us. Not with me.

I felt the heat of her words wash over me, and I realized then that I was no longer just listening to herI was feeling her. Really feeling her. It wasnt just the physical connection anymore, although I couldnt deny how her presence made every inch of me react. There was something about the way she spoke, the way she understood me, that made me want to trust her in ways I hadnt trusted anyone before.

Her fingers brushed against my arm, sending a shiver down my spine. Youre still wearing a mask, you know, she said softly. And youre not the only one here who feels exposed. Were all walking around with these walls. But here, she paused, leaning in just enough for me to feel the heat of her breath against my ear, you can drop them. Im here, Audrey. I see you.

I froze. Her words werent just a comfort; they were a challenge. Something about the way she said it, with such conviction, made me feel as though I had no choice but to respond. I hadnt realized how much Id been holding back until she made it so painfully clear.

I looked at her then, meeting her gaze. Her eyes were darker than usual, something unreadable simmering beneath the surface. And if I dont want to? I asked, my voice barely above a whisper, unsure if I wanted to hear the answer.

Her smile turned slow, seductive even, as she leaned in closer. Then Ill help you want to.

The intensity in her voice sent a jolt through me. I couldnt ignore the magnetic pull between us, the tension that had been building since that first moment we met. Every word, every glance, seemed to pull us closer, and I could feel myself falling into it.

Why do you say that? I asked, my throat dry.

Because I think theres more to you than you know, she said, stepping back just enough to let her words linger between us. And Im curious to find out.

The way she said it made it feel like a dare. And in that moment, I realized something: I wanted her to challenge me. I wanted to let go. Maybe it was the heat of the moment, or maybe it was something deeper.. whatever it was, I knew it wasnt just curiosity anymore. It was desire. A craving to explore, to shed every last layer and embrace the rawness between us.

As Anna walked away, her hips swaying with that confident, effortless stride of hers, I couldnt shake the feeling that this wasnt over. Not by a long shot. She had given me a taste of something and now, I wanted more. I wanted to see where this would lead.

The rest of the day passed in a blur. My mind kept returning to that conversation, to the heat of her touch, and to the way her eyes had never left mine. It was a slow burn, but the fire was there, and I was already feeling the heat.

That night, I couldnt sleep. My thoughts kept running back to Anna and that dangerous glimmer in her eyes. She had opened something inside of me, something I hadnt realized was even there. The more I thought about it, the more I understood that this wasnt just about the freedom of being naked. It was about freedom in every sense. It was about surrendering to something, someone who understood me in a way no one else ever had.

By the time morning came, I knew one thing for certain: I had to find out where this was going.

And I was ready to dive in headfirst

• 8 days ago