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My dear I feel the tenderness and loneliness in your words and I want you to know you are not alone in this. Many couples face this quiet distance with time and it does not mean desire or love has died. What has helped some is patience gentle affection and deep emotional closeness without pressure. Soft touches kind words shared memories and feeling truly seen can slowly awaken warmth again. Sometimes health comfort or fear plays a role and being lovingly present makes all the difference. What matters most is the bond between two hearts and that can always be nurtured. I am here holding you close believing that connection can still find its way back.
I am in a sexless marriage. Wife started some meds a long time ago. They worked great, but killed all desire. However, I have not lost my interest in sex. So I looked outside of my marriage. Used to meet up often, but Covid stopped everything. Now I just survive on cam sex. Not as good as real sex, but better than nothing. So I am always looking for cam partners.
My partner/gf is post menopause and has little sexual desires at the moment, it's just not on her radar at the moment.
We had a fantastic sex life previously, experimental, open minded exploration together. She expressed a desire to explore with another lady, she had a brief experience with a flat mate in her younger days. She was keen for me to explore same sex experiences too. .
I suggested maybe she needed to explore with other men, to see if that would trigger a desire ( a bit of a bloke suggestion I know now !) which went down well.
She believes desire with return naturally and we have intimacy in the meantime. I hope the original poster found some new ways to take the edge off.
I have wondered if it's why some men of a certain age turn to each other for sexual gratification.
The way we solved the problem when penetration became a problem. To masterbate each other.without penetration. . Once my wife found that she could still get get pleasure from her clitorus without pain she was happy to continue and give me pleasure.
My wife of 38 years started out highly sexual. We had sex 10-15 times a week. After 10 years of marriage, and her being on many meds, some of those meds diminished her desires, but we'd still have sex about once a week. Another 10 years later, she ended up having endometrial cancer and to get it out, they did a full hysterectomy on her. They tried HRT, but when they found her family has a history of breast cancer and HRT has been linked to increased risk of breast cancer, they stopped that, and her sexual desires basically disappeared. She would still have sex about once every few months to give me some pleasure, but then she stared having increased pain, and the frequency dropped to 3 or 4 times a year before it finally stopped.
I thought about finding a woman on the side to fulfill my sexual desires, but had no luck there, so I found myself masturbating daily, maybe even multiple times a day. Then one day, having an online discussion wit someone, they suggested finding a guy in a similar situation and helping each other out. It took me a couple years before I finally took the plunge and met up with a guy to trade blowjobs. We met at a nearby county park and went into one of the public bathrooms (they are large and clean in this park, and can be locked from inside). I admitted to him that I should probably go first because after I cum, I might not be able to follow through with sucking him off, so I got naked and on my knees in front of him. I took him in my mouth, and started working his cock and in almost no time, he was ready to cum and to both our surprise (and pleasure) I let him cum in my mouth and I swallowed his load. I remained on my knees and still sucked and licked his softening cock, then I stood up, rock hard and ready for him to suck me. Of course, he suddenly got real nervous and had to leave, so he just pulled his pants up and walked out leaving me standing there naked. I just stood there and masturbated while I thought about how I felt about sucking him off. After that I met up with a couple other guys and got naked and sucked them off. In both of their cases, I went into it knowing that they had no intention of doing anything for me other than letting me suck them and swallow their cum. While I'd still rather eat a woman's pussy and fuck her, I do find that I enjoy being able to get naked and suck a guy's cock giving him some sexual release that his wife won't or can't. Lately I've even been considering the possibility of letting a guy fuck me. I have met a couple guys that did suck me off too, and I did enjoy that, and they seemed to enjoy doing it for me too, but I seem to prefer to be the one giving the pleasure to others...
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