A bald man with a wooden leg is invited to a costume party

Being sensitive about both his lack of hair and missing limb, he writes an email to a costume vendor asking for ideas. Three days later he receives a parcel with the following letter:

Dear Sir,
Enclosed please find a Pirate's outfit. The spotted handkerchief will cover your bald head and with your wooden leg you will look exactly like a Pirate.

The man is offended that the outfit emphasizes his disability, so he responds with a complaint. Three more days pass and he receives another parcel and note.

Dear Sir,
Sorry about the previous parcel. Enclosed please find a Monk's habit. The long robe will cover your wooden leg and with your bald head you will really look the part.

Now the man is furious, because the company has gone from emphasizing his wooden leg to drawing attention to his bald head. So he writes a really strong letter of complaint. A few days later he gets a very small parcel from the company with an accompanying letter:

Dear Sir,
Enclosed please find a bottle of excellent grenadine syrup. We suggest you pour the red grenadine syrup over your bald head, let it harden, and then stick your wooden leg up your ass and go as a candy apple.

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