Falling in love
No, it's not about me specifically but about all of us. Statistically, not individually, although I don't have any statistics at hand about it.
This is about different dynamics of love in men and women. Love with capital L, not love making.
Of course we are also so different in love making, but I think I have already created topics about this. You guys have a stronger sexual drive but we ladies enjoy sex more: we can have numerous and stronger, mind-numbing orgasms. You guys want diversity, we want stability. Of course, statistically and up to a point. Some of you (maybe 1%) are probably naturally monogamous and don't even dream of another woman, while some of us (maybe 10%) have a naturally oversized sex drive and maybe half of those who are blessed (cursed?) with such erotic nature become very liberal sexually.
All these are evolutionary adaptations from the three sexual phases of our evolution, promiscuity, polygamy and nominal monogamy. But I have already written about these. Of course, society has smothered some of these behaviours (up to a point) while reinforcing other evolutionary adaptations.
But what about the big L? I think we are very different from you guys here too. We fall harder in our teens and then progressively wise up, while you do the opposite.
In our teens, we fall for professors. Let alone rock stars. Or the sexy dark-haired colleague in the back bench, the one with a romantic figure and a bad boy attitude. There are not many male groupies - not that most young guys would refuse becoming the sex toys of a nice girls band, but this is very different.
On the contrary, most of you guys want to experiment in their teens. Unless they fall for the first woman of their lives, especially if their first sexual relation happens relatively late, say in the last teens or even early twenties. But after your first couple of girls you become a bit vaccinated to love and can treat us quite badly. You may become a bit infatuated with one of us and ask us in marriage - more because you don't want to be alone and become a drunk and because society told you that this is how things need to be than because you can't live without us or want our babies. But you don't fall for us as hard as later in your life.
Things change indeed later. At 30, we become wiser and less likely to do stupid things for love. We evaluate men from all points of view and no longer fall for a bad boy just because he fucks our brains out. Again, statistically. At 30, I had lots of admirers all around me, rich and famous people too, and I thought I knew everything there is to know about men and about myself and I fell as hard as any teenager has even fallen for D. But it was not just that because he fucked my brains out and gave me 20 orgasms per day (although hmm... that was kind of useful) - I was completely and desperately his well before he finally took my clothes off on a Sunday afternoon, a day we still celebrate every year.
You grow differently. You get bored of your monogamous sex life and at 45-50 you no longer get it up as easily as before. Your wife is also starting to feel hormonal changes and is no longer so interested in sex, maybe she got a bit fat, but her boobs start to sag a bit and her skin is no longer so smooth... You fear old age and wonder if there is still a good sex life ahead And you want diversity. That's when you fall for a younger woman and feel young again. Real male. She probably likes you (many of us do like older men) although she may as well be venal, but she is so special, her eyes are full of love for you, her skin is silky smooth, her boobs perky and sensitive and her pussy smells so nice and gets so wet so easily... And then she cries her heart out during orgasms and sucks your cock and your balls with so much pleasure, she says that your sperm tastes like honey, all those things which your wife doesn't really do any longer and yes, she makes you feel like a real man. A MAN. Old age can wait, you are in love. For real, for the first time so deep.
Yes, you fall hard.
Very hard.
Again, not all of you. Some are truly monogamous beings, some really lose their testosterone and interest in sex early and most simply don't find that sexy, sensual and generous young lady. Which is normal, you older guys are more numerous than them, young ladies who like older men, just like on this site. And maybe because you haven't fallen in love yet despite your crisis of the forties (more of the fifties nowadays), which actually means that you haven't found that available young sexy lady to fall for despite fantasizing about so many ladies you know, you start going on nudist or swingers sites and masturbates imagining how it would be if...
Am I being cruel? No, just a realist. I told you guys things I only told to my best friends. Girlfriends. I think I deserve some sincerity.
So my point is simple. We fall in love differently, ladies mostly and most hardly at a young age, men later in life. Which remains true even if I happened to live a different experience. How was it for you?
Fell hard in my teens for an older experienced woman, that L was more for Lust than Love in the beginning. It grew to Love though over time.
I think if you're fool enough to fall in Love with a young lady in for your 60s, just for the smooth skin and perky breasts you're also getting the Ls muddled up and its Lust, the problem then is once you've fucked the young ladies brains out a few times, it would be nice to have a convo on the same level, that commonality may well be missing.
I think if you're going to fall in Love later, the body and matching sex drive is only so much of it, i think you also need to have other things in common so as not to have a void outside of the sweaty sex sessions.
However, however.... the heart is a funny old thing, and won't always do as its told or so what's best.
What you call heart I call evolutionary adaptations. Those emotions go deep in time. Silky skin, perky breasts and full lips mean strong fertility and they are meant to attract you.
Of course, having in your arms a woman of 30 when you are 16 makes you feel very special - and we all want to be special at 16. Plus, let's face it, a woman is at her best at 30. Her skin is still beautiful, breasts quite perky, lips plump (and all this can be helped a a bit). She has the skills, the experience, and she knows how to seduce without wearing the latest sneakers, shortest shorts, tattoos and fake nails.
That being said, there are of course guys among the 4 billion on Earth who fancy older women - but they are in the tails of the Gauss curve and those tails are very thin.
For us it is more "normal" (statistic definition) to like older guys. Their fertility might decrease a bit, but they have the knowledge, the status, the experience, the resources to help us raise the kids they will give us. Plus, if they fall hard for us they may want to stick around to do do.
And I didn't even mention why your crises of the forties (fifties nowadays) makes evolutionary sense in our second and third sexual phases of evolution. The best sexual strategy of men, the one which would be the most likely to produce offspring who survive to adulthood, would be to start sex early (you do have that tingle at 12-13 don't you), have kids which you help to raise (otherwise their survival chances are slashed), but then, when their woman's fertility is declining to try to spread their genes further, and compensate their own declining (but never disappearing) fertility with the explosive fertility of a young woman.
Of course, not everything which makes evolutionary sense also makes ethical sense in today's world... But morality is relative and varies so much in time and space (yes it does, sorry for that famous American idiot Sam Harris, I read a couple of his books because they make me laugh so hard...).
Oh, I love how you put that and yes, I think youre right. We do fall differently. Looking back, I can see how my heart has changed its rhythm over the years. In my twenties, love was all butterflies and drama; in my thirties, I wanted something that made sense solid, safe. Now, at fifty, I just want something real. No games, no proving anything just a connection that makes me feel alive and seen.
Youre right about men too. Ive watched so many finally start to feel love the real, deep kind later in life, when theyre finally brave enough to drop the armor. Its kind of beautiful, actually watching a man rediscover his heart. And sometimes, yes, his desire too.
As for us women we dont lose it, you know. If anything, we just get better at it. More confident, more curious, more comfortable in our own skin. Theres something delicious about knowing exactly who you are and what you want.
So maybe youre right: we fall early, you fall late. But when the timing happens to line up when both of us are ready for the same thing at the same time thats when the magic really happens.
Good morning all you beautiful people. Ever time I see the group name I try to see what was the new thread. Yesterday I had started to respond, but life started early for me. So lets try to make it all the way through.
Yes as a young boy I was always interested in being with girls and oh those feelings were amazing. When I did finally fall in love. Oh I was so happy and excited. Excited all the time ! But then, something changed and I had to find another love. But when I look back at my first love, she was so amazing. I went to a memorial for a good friend, a couple weeks ago. They projected pictures of his life on the screen.
He had married his high school sweetheart. They were very much in love with each other, even after over forty years of marriage. They really stayed in love with each other for that long. But it made me think about my first love. And how young we were ! My next love was not as strong but we got along very well. She was an older lady, by ten years or more. But yes she knew what she liked to do. Oh she laughed so nicely. But we knew that we were never going to last. But it did open my mind to other things in life.
I have been married to the same woman for over forty years now. She never believed in herself, but I told her over and over that she was beautiful and smart.
Okay I remember why I didnt finish yesterday. That wife is talking to me as I am typing. Lol hope I can finish. Lol
Nope !
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